Whenever I look out the window, it’s hard to see where I am. You know, like when you’re on a subway and and the reality of how fast the train is moving is unclear until you try to see what’s written on the tunnel walls?
Then, dang, the realization of the speed at which you are travelling grabs your mind and you reach for the pole.
Every time I look up from my little bubble, I get dizzy with how quickly time is passing.
Virgina Harper (my food counselor) says that life is made up of seven-year cycles, the human body changes and cells die every 7 years. For me, this makes sense. Isabella will turn 7 years old this August, making me a 7 year old mother. Ginny also says that every 7 years we become more of ourselves and less of our mother… hmmmm.
So as Isabella becomes more of her and I become more of me, a door is opening, one that I feel I’m just about to walk through. Seven years ago I birthed my first child and this summer I will birth a creative project that has been growing inside of me for at least 7 years!
Maybe all of these issues with health and wellness and my mother’s issues are taking a turn too?
Fourteen years ago I was “Hi I Can Save Him” and in relationship with “Hi I’m Fine With Out You.” We resided high in a tower overlooking Los Angeles; I toted a tiny little white dog named Oliver and spent most of my days avoiding life. Truth be told, that tiny little dog was probably the first being that I openly connected too, opening a door for me to “grow through”.
Oliver would have been 14 this August, maybe his passing over is still attached to mine? Looking back at 2 seven year cycles is really cool.
Stop and count back as many cycles as you can….

Memorial Day morning was spent with Happy Son Of My People, a perfect place for remembering! We talked about “Yom Ha Shoah,” the day of remembrance in Israel.
On this day, everything stops at 10am – literally EVERYTHING – cars, TVs, radios, WORK!
The first time I was in Israel, I had NO idea what was going on. I was with a friend in the Northern City of Haifa (the San Francisco of Israel) when loud sirens went off and I immediately panicked thinking, Oh, no it’s a bomb! Then I looked out at the busy road and was shocked to see all of the cars STOP and people get out and stand right there in the middle of the road in honor of the dead. This holiday was primarily to honor those that passed in the Holocaust, but also includes all who have passed.
Once my friend whispered in my ear what was happening, my mind clicked with my heart and the wave of emotion was HUGE! I mean, when an ENTIRE country comes to a stand-still in honor of the dead, WOW!
After Gil and I discussed the power of this collective memory, I climbed on the table and let my mind run through its vast books of information…remembering all the parts of me that have died.
Starting with my infancy, elementary mee, teen mee, 20′s mee, and now making my way through my 30′s. What stood out is how long I have been a girl!
Some women are WOMEN at 19, but I, for sure, was not. In fact, when I was 12 I thought that fo’sho’ I’d be rocking a woman’s body! Ha,ha.. Some women are WOMEN by their late 20′s but I, for sure, was not. Some women are WOMEN hands down in their 30′s and I, for sure, have not been one of them. I used to think it was because of my tiny build and small face, thinking once I had kids I would be a total woman. Nope, however I did become a mother, not a girl mother but a true MOTHER.
Then I thought by my mid 30′s I would be A grown up Lady! Nope, still a girl. But something has changed; I can honestly see that I am “A LADY GIRL!”
I’ve been comparing myself to this old idea of being a woman – you know, round, full, reserved, sitting still, pant suits and a terrible haircut and remembering High School as the “good old days”.
High School was rough!

Whew, the pressure is off, the maturation of me is its own. I don’t have to give up my grooviness, turn down my hip-hop, or drop my lingo lovin’ talk.
For women nowadays, our aging is different. After all, we have been influenced by different women than our mothers. Madonna has been in our face staying sassy and making it happen into her fifties. Deaths of ourselves are not endings but beginnings! No wonder I feel fresher, sharper, cooler and more together than I did in my twenties! These beginnings just keep getting better!
Just maybe I AM standing on life’s subway being moved into my next incarnation, unable to see what it looks like but loving the movement?