I’ve wanted to write part two of this blog since the moment I finished part one!!

The only problem is that my life seemed to run in front of my pen, I guess giving me a chance to think about what part two really was all about…

Before I explain what happened at the reunion I’d like to share what has gone on this past week upon my arrival here in Nashville.

What’s been the toughest part of moving here is figuring out how to “Crack the Code” that for sure exists here.   We enrolled Bella in a really lovely school that boasts itself on it’s strong sense of community, which was really attractive as we are living in a beautiful city without a town center nor sidewalks…

Not unlike many other towns that have grown into cities in the past 10 years.  However we’ve come to find out that this school too has a CODE.  Since her school is a “Drop Off Only” – meaning you pull up they remove the child from their seat belt and then returning them to their seat belts at the end of the day.  Most private schools are now functioning like this.  I totally understand the “CONVENIENCE” factor, but listen folks: “OUR OBSESSION WITH CONVENIENCE IS THE DEMISE OF OUR SOCIETY AND HUMAN CONNECTION.”

I GET IT and FO’ SHO I have within me a character “HI PLEASE DON’T MAKE ME CONNECT TODAY”, she is sometimes so not into small talk and feels exhausted by the little things in life, and usually she shows up when I’m feeling the most overwhelmed by my life. She doesn’t answer the phone and LOVES to be alone in her self isolation. A DROP OFF – is her miracle situation!

But, what I know after attending 2 Montessori schools prior to this one, is that those morning walk up to the gate and personal drop off opened up a gentle connection for the child and the other parents.  Creating a very sweet ritual that opened FAMILY friendships as well as creating a parent/school relationship.  Not to mention these morning meet and greets usually shifted me out of “HI PLEASE DON’T MAKE ME CONNECT.”

The other tough part of the SCHOOL CODE is that EVERY bit of communication is done via email/Internet.  This is cool and I for one am an Internet gal, I usually prefer email over phone.  I get that we need to save paper so the postal mail service is NOT green friendly.  However when EVERY thing is done via computer we once again lose RELATIONSHIP.  Last year the only person I ever spoke to was the school secretary who then would put me through to the teachers voice mail! ha,ha…OK not so funny.

Once summer arrived the shock that we had not made but one set of family friends was just that SHOCKING.  Having not had the daily run-ins during morning drop off with folks at school, Bella was desperately lonely, and I was saddened that this is AMERICA.

Contrary to what people believe Malibu is a town with a town feel.  We have a town center “Cross Creek” and connecting there is cake.  Mexico was even easier, walking through town on a daily basis you pass the same people and that daily wave opens a door forming an alliance and friendship.  Our strip mall cities have NO sidewalks and our “Drop Off School Policies” leave us in tiny little isolated bubbles burning the last of the cheap oil.

Oberlin wasn’t like this, we ALL road bikes all over this little town, everyone knew everyone, if my mom had a question she went to the school and asked.  In Oberlin we were mixed together there was no such thing as contrived diversity, we were a melting pot of colors, religions and intellectual thinkers, and I knew the kids in my class as well as I knew the parents.  This was so evident as I walked into the “Meet and Greet” at the Oberlin Inn.  I looked into those faces and saw their lives, their childhood home lives, their mom’s and dads. I didn’t just ask how are you but how are your parents?

The shocking aspect of the reunion was not how much it was about the other kids (now adults) but how each interchange triggered a flash into my own past. With each hug and hand shake I saw them as a child and then myself with them.  Each time someone asked me “So where have you been? What do you do? What have you been up to?  My mind danced with memories – 6 years old, 9 years old, 21 years, 28,  29, 30 and so forth…I had to grab a seat away from everyone to process, I found myself overwhelmed by the years that had passed and all of the places I’ve been and the people that I’ve been.  I was mesmerized with each face searching for connection, recalling events.  I used to think that people grappled with aging because of the physical changes that occur, but now I understand that the big grapple is with TIME – how does it move so quickly and where has it all gone?  How can I wrap my hands around a moment? The big one – Did this all really EVER happen?

I found myself moving through the room touching peoples arms with endearment, for these folks were part of what has formed me.  This wasn’t a group of people snooping and judging this was a group of kids that have now grown up and KNOW what greatness they share in common.  The founding fathers of OBERLIN truly have succeeded and fulfilled their dream, a town with a creative and intellectual platform for all to stand, walk, bike ride and share – in connection.  Hopefully other cities and communities will take note.

Funny enough I won the award for “The Person Who Moved the Furthest Away.”  Of course I did, after such a tragic ending I heard Ray Muro (one of my best friends dad) as he handed me the $20.00 bucks that started my life out “Keep Your Feet Moving Kid, You Don’t want to end up here for the rest of your life.”  I took this to heart, and maybe I thought the further away I went the less it would hurt….

Now that I was back in this beautiful little town, with these unique folks I found it strange that I couldn’t see how great of a place it was to be raised.  I asked a bunch of people that had moved far away “Did you always know you were going to leave?”

All of them said yes…but that now they see how sweet and cool Oberlin is.

Hmmm….returning to my home town I saw it too, I also know that I’m an Oberlin girl raised to ask questions and question everything, one who KNOWS that community is important and not just an Internet cyber world but one where we walk down the street and we frequent little shops, holding our kids by the hand as we walk them to the school door.

We will live here for the next year and I’m really going to do my best to “Crack The Code” and create some form of community, hopefully our next stop will be in a village like environment and if I’m lucky Nashville will reveal the “VILLAGE” that exist within.

Someone asked me the other day “Who was the real shocker or became someone that was a surprise to you?”

I sat back a second and then answered “Mee.”

This week I am preparing for the arrival of my ENTIRE family!

Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles, Cousins – we are having us a family reunion out on the Ranch!!! For certain the road of where I have been and who I am will once again open up for a drive down memory lane..Can’t wait to fill ya in!