(click ‘play’ to listen to Adele’s “Chasing Pavements…”)

I don’t know what it is about ‘anniversaries’ but when I know they are coming close, my little ‘expectation’ radar gets all ramped up and off I go projecting into the world what is gonna happen or how it should all go and feel…
When I was 18 and the year marker of all the accidents was approaching, I began to get restless, uptight and to tell the truth, I thought just maybe something awful was going to happen again.

I had left the mini-blind interior design job behind and moved to a receptionist position in a big D.C. law firm.  I was having a good time exploring the city and setting my life up, having health insurance was a huge perk – an appointment with a psychologist was in need and fo’sho included in the coverage.  Not knowing who to see, I asked the director of human resources and they sent me to a serious corporate psychologist.

I was just a teenager, I’d never been to see anyone before let alone spoken about my trials and tribulations to a stranger!  It was a cold and rainy December day, I felt like the little girl in the movie ‘It’s a beautiful Life’ – wrapped in my long red rain coat, I left the gray, wet, cold outside to enter an office covered with wall to wall gray carpeting and matching paint, even the sofa was gray.  I peeled away my wet, red parka, leaving my pasty white, sad skin to blend into the gray sofa.

I remember scanning the room, taking in the Yale University Certificates of Education and various other award like hangings.  I thought OK, she is smart I bet she can help out.  She asked one question following our introduction “What brings you to see me?”

SWOOSH…..The flood gates opened and I covered the rug with my heart ache and fear….When I looked up – the psychologist sat with a blank face.  My lap was layered in tissues and my eyes as red as my jacket.  I waited, I waited for her to say something….Finally, not one to fear speaking first, I asked her “So do you think I’m normal?”

“Normal’, no you are not normal….”
“What? Doesn’t this happen to everyone? Aren’t we all brokenhearted, doesn’t everyone die?”

“Yes,” she said “Everyone does die…however not in the tragic way that you have lost.”

“Well, can you at least tell me how long my heart will break and ache? Is it 6 weeks?  8 months? How about 5 years?  If you tell me how long it’s gonna take I can do it, I can make it happen.”

She was silent, then she offered me her plan “I think you should come back every week, in the meantime I can give you something to help ease the pain.”

I heard her, I quietly gathered my things…said ‘no thanks’ to the prescription and walked to my car, I began to sob.  I wanted a hug, I wanted someone to tell me that’ yes this is normal’, that people loose their entire families every day all over the planet – look at war torn countries.

Life is about reinvention, and we start over throughout our life times.  I wanted her to offer me love, affection and kindness.  As I climbed into the car I heard a voice “Awww, Awwww, little miss know it all…don’t get down, you are gonna heal this and then head into the world to create a platform to stand on, one day you will sit in a circle of women and you will get your hugs.”

A few weeks ago I read about a place here in Nashville, Magdalene House.  Founded by Becca Stevens, an Episcopalian minister who was raised by here single mother after her father was killed by a drunk driver.  Becca had a desire to become her greatest self and now she guides other women in finding their greatest  selves.  Women live at the Magdalene House for 2 years and work at Thistle Farms a non-profit business run by the women who have survived lives of violence, prostitution, and abuse.  Thistle Farms products are hand-made by the very women they benefit.  All proceeds go back into Thistle Farms and the residential program.

I’ve found that there is a ton of information about our food and healing our bodies with food that is tough to uncover and if you don’t have internet access and can’t afford to work with a food specialist like I am, then how will you ever know that you actually have a choice and power in helping your body?  This is now my responsibility to share what I know, so I headed to Magdalene House and made some Miso!

The ladies there were so cool and funny, sniffing the seaweed and givin’ it that “I don’t really eat beach food face”.  But the best was how they rallied and came to the table ready to try something new and super excited that eating food can actually be beneficial to ones body!

The Magdalene Women asked some seriously great questions and I thought I would share them with ya’ll:

Does Whole Foods and other Health Food stores take food stamps?
YES!!!  They dooooooo!  So does The Turnip Truck in East Nashville…

Is eating this way expensive?
NO!! Here is the deal if you shop on the perimeters of the market veggies, grains, seasonal produce and fruits CHEAP – listen it doesn’t all have to be organic – just wash your produce.  Also grains are cheap and go a LONG way…hence why they are the staple in most 3rd world countries.

If  you buy processed foods, meaning frozen or boxed items your grocery bills go up and your health goes DOWN!!!

Does Organic mean healthy?
NO it depends what’s in it and how much sugar is in it – even if it’s brown rice syrup, agave, evaporated cane juice or stevia.  Too much sugar is sugar.  After eating 2 teaspoons of sugar our immune systems are weakened for 4 hours!

What does it mean if it says ‘Healthy’?
ha,ha…Here is my rule – if you meet someone for the first time and they say “Hi I’m Nice”  do you believe them?  I hope not, read the labels!!!  Meaning go beyond what’s obviously written and find out for yourself.  The fewest amount of ingredients is the better choice!

What should I change first in my diet to improve my health?
SUGAR – Cut it back baby. How read the label and remember this 1 teaspoon of sugar for every 4 grams.  So if it says 20 grams of sugar divide it by 4.  That’s 5 teaspoons of sugar – would you allow your child to put 5 teaspoons of sugar all over his food? How about soda – it’s like 32 to 48 grams of sugar – that’s 12 teaspoons of sugar added to a glass of water!! YIKES!!!

We sat around the table chatting about food and things to do with it, I shared my story of my life and listened to theirs.  At the end one of the women came to me and gave me a hug…whispering in my ear “this is the hug you needed so long ago.”

As I walked to my car I heard my Angel once again “Awww, awww, you found your circle little miss know it all…and you will find many more, keep on keepin’”

Princess Know It All is totally my platform and it is allowing me to grow and share, bringing gratitude my way and fulfilling dreams from long ago….Another week of gratefulness has come.