Jumper – Third Eye blind

For those of you that have been following my blog for a long old while now, you will remember how I’ve expressed my concept on personal thorns?

If you are new to the blog, here is a brief definition: A personal thorn is someone that we have hurt in the past.  These thorns can be relatives, friends, lovers or work relationships.   I call them thorns cause as long as they exist the ache is felt by us. Being that we are 70-75% water we need “light” to penetrate the water to keep us healthy and clean, if we’ve got thorns clouding up our water the light can’t get to all parts of us.

A few years ago, I came to terms with the fact that I had a lot of forgiving to do, and most of that forgiving had very little to do with what others had done to me, but what I had done to myself by allowing my “Hi I’m Fine With Out You” to take over…Of course you all know her right, that part of us that sabotages situations and then turns a cold shoulder, blocking out instead of owning up to our part in a situation.  A lot of time “Hi I’m Fine With Out You” doesn’t even need a situation, an assumption is good enough for her to turn away and take over.  For Mee, I made a list of folks that I really cared about at one time and wanted to ask forgiveness, when I say made a list – I mean I actually sat down and made a list and wrote out my request for forgiveness.

I should warn you, doing this brings opportunity to apologize.

My list of thorns presented itself and I took each and every action I could to reach out and say “I’m sorry, please forgive me.”  Even if I wasn’t the only one to sour the situation, this is about owning my part.  The good news is that some of these ‘thorns’ and I have reconnected and picked up where we left off, in fact our friendships have grown stronger than ever!

A little light goes a long way and cleaning up those thorns allowed some much needed sun shine to turn my murky interior swamp into a fresh mountain spring!

It’s not always easy, I’ve had to make good with the idea that I didn’t need anything from them – acceptance of the apology and the need for it would have been selfish – that’s not what this process is about. Of course my “Hi Is It Gonna Hurt” totally gets all in a tizzy, she is so afraid of confrontation and anything that can sting…

There has been one person in particular  I’ve really wanted to ask forgiveness, this person was one of my best friends when my family passed, they supported me and always saw my greatness no matter which ‘Character’, showed up in the room.  Of course, I went through my really arrogant 20′s in Hollywood and in the process I showed my back side by being rude and inconsiderate.

In the end I didn’t just break my friends heart but mine too…..There have been so many time I’ve wanted to share a moment in my life, touch base or just hang out on their beach back home. I really wanted to tell them that I JUMPED, I heard them and I’m really trying to walk that road to my greatest self.

I’ve seen this person on line, yep facebook and twitter, however my “Hi Is It Gonna Hurt” was in control of my keyboard.  I was way too caught up in how they would receive my apology.

The other day I took my keyboard back and tapped away.

Guess what?

This person responded with greatness!  Gosh it feels so good, one less thorn bringing me down…….Just maybe one day we will pick up where we left off.