Dang ya’ll I’m really dancing with Destiny.

I guess we are always dancing with her, just not always aware of it.  I’m fo’sho learning her rhythm, and part of learning new moves is surrendering and allowing someone or something else to guide.  December seems to bring me many changes for an example my momma was in a a car accident Dec. 31, I conceived my first child on the 15th of Dec. and we moved to Nashville last Dec. 13th.

The thing about Destiny is that usually she packs a big old punch and rocks us with what we think things will be like and delivers what they need to be.  When destiny knocks my character “Hi I Don’t Wanna Change” starts clinging and scratching to hang on to what she knows, even if what she knows no longer serves her.

Let me shine some light, when my momma died, I had no idea that something amazing and fantastic would come out of it as a result – you ask what good could have come?  Well, for starters I stepped to the plate and decided to have an adventurous life full of determination to reach my greatest self.  You see I wanted to be all that those folks could have become (remember I lost of a bunch of peeps that winter).

The conception of my first child was actually terrifying.  I had watched my momma struggle with life, marriage and parenting – in truth I wasn’t sure I could do it or that I really wanted to.  I had NO fantasy to live up to, I knew parenting and rearing babies was a big job.  I was really afraid of all the changes that were destined to come my way.  Once again, a slammin’ lesson showed up and I learned, Whenever I have great,huge, gigantic fear of change – it’s because I know somewhere deep inside it’s a path to my greatest self.  “Hi I Don’t Wanna Change” is all about self sabotage and the second I let her hold me back I loose out.

The 3rd time Decembers Destiny snatched me up was 1 year and 2 days ago, we were living large in the Mexican Jungle. I had built a warm cozy world of my own, truly found my peeps, and then I got sick.  I can’t lie to ya’ feeling the way I felt and not being able to get to a hospital at night ’cause the Jungle road to town was too dangerous forced me to take action and pack it up.  What I packed was two suitcases full of long tee’s and the few pairs of pants we had. My plan was that we would come spend 3 weeks here in Nashville  at our ranch, enough time to meet with doctors and get on a medical plan. We rolled into Wal-Mart rockin’ flip flops searching for some type of foot coverage.  Bella’s concern was for the tree’s and what had happened to them? Where did their leaves go?  This all seems like a life time ago as we wrap ourselves in Ugg’s and gloves, the Jungle seems like a dream that I dreamed and now hold in my heart.

As I bitched and moaned about not finding my way, Destiny carved one and I showed up every day.   A world was opening here and according to astrologers Nashville was my place of destiny, meaning I was going to connect to all that I needed to reach my personal potential.  Looking back at the past year I see that this just might be true! OK in fact it has shown it’s self to be true.

You’ve heard me whine about not connecting and making friends, but that’s not true – now I see that I have built a world, one based on poignancy.  Here’s a flash light of what I’m saying: I’ve become friends with a couple school families, two families that I jive with and my kids now have safe, supportive play dates!  I’ve brought some seriously cool people on to support me, from Virginia Harper, Carri Duncan Butts, Alex, Marielle, Lena Bauer, Lauren Williams, Mary Alice and Gil Ben Ami, Alma Fong – everyone of these folks has my back.  So no, there aren’t any bull shit convo’s going on and I’m so not keeping up with the Jones’s.

All these poignant relationships have got me headed in the right direction.  I’m not just doing 10 times better health wise but work has been unbelievable! I built this site and ’cause I don’t wanna jinks what I’m doing behind the scenes, I’m not gonna a share the details of what’s coming next. However keep posted and pieces will begin to reveal..I gots plans folks!

So the year is coming to an end, and we are planning on staying in Nashville a bit longer than we planned.  This is the tough part ’cause right now I’m reading a BANGIN’ book “The Lacuna” by Barbara Kingsolver.  It’s set in Mexico and dang ya’ll it’s pulling me like a rope tied around my heart.  I miss my people, something fierce, I read Senora Gina’s words and my heart crackles with the scent of homesick bacon.  But, I can’t fight that I’m where I’m supposed to be, Nashville is comfy, easy and as you can see – supportive.  So here I go, leaning back and getting out of my own way, I guess it’s like the Tango – I’m a woman and this is the one dance that I don’t drive, just show up and move to the beat.

I suppose when change comes my way I gotta get up and get that dirt off my shoulder so I can see what all the new is trying to do.

Click play to listen to Dirt off your shoulders by Jay-Z