This is gonna seems nuts and I’ve struggled to take it out and even as I sit here in my kitchen wondering whether to write about it all or not, the writer in me has got to express!  Maybe if I take it out I’ll be able to read it with a readers eye and get some clarity on the craziness, after all everything we do and say is really for us first…Art is truly for its creator first.

Now that 2009 has come to an end and 2010 has begun, I’m full of reflection, I usually burn a candle for what I want to release using the flame as a metaphoric fire to move forward with my dreams.  Recapitulating this past year was a lot to digest and some of it I’m still chewing.

When we arrived last winter our plans were to stay in Nashville for only a few weeks, long enough to get my health sorted out and then head on home to the Jungle. Well you all know the saying “tell God your plans and for sure they’ll change”.  By January it was clear we were not going to return, I set out to find us a proper house in town – life way out on the Ranch was far too isolating for us, not to mention that the girls really needed to attend a good school.

Lee and I drove around looking to buy a house, however with the market collapsing the way that it was and our indecision we opted to lease.  One day we drove by this big old prestigious looking, mansion-like house, there was a private owner “FOR RENT”  sign, so we pulled in and looked around.  Looking back I felt the cold of the casa right away, but my health was so weak I could barely see my own feet in front of me.  We walked through the house and no my heart didn’t jump with joy, but my desire to put down roots was great.  The next two weeks were spent deliberating. I felt so unsure, but I was torn with myself not knowing if my intuition was talking to me or my fear of being trapped in Nashville…finally a decision was made, the owner was so accommodating and patient we knew we needed to make it happen and signed the lease.

One afternoon I drove into town to meet the cable guy, Lola and I sat on the floor in the dining room cuddled next to the furnace, alone.  Our furniture was not going to arrive for a few more days and so the house sat empty awaiting the McCormick Legacy to fill its 17 rooms!  I should have listened to Lola as she whispered into my ear “Momma there are too many people here, I don’t like it.”  I giggled and said yes, this is an old house in an old city and I’m sure lots of people have lived here.

This is how it all began, Lola was not the only one to comment regarding the strange noises and bizarre going ons here.  What really troubled me were the awful dreams I dreamed, always the same theme – unsafe in the house.  I must have dreamed of people breaking in the house a few times a week, the irony now is that in the dream they were always already in the house.  These dreams bothered me so much that I’d spend half my nights walking the halls checking on the girls, then I started hearing doors opening in the middle of the night.  On one occasion my nephew Tylor was here with me – I ran to his room and made him get out of bed and check all the doors and windows.  Nothing, but I CLEARLY heard a door open.

The dreams continued to occur always the same theme, I’d awake in the night convinced that we were not safe in the house.  I’d google crime in Nashville and anything that could give me a hint to the history of the house, I even went as far as buying a book on the history of Nashville and the different areas of town.  I started asking people about crime in the area and I was told that yes robberies were common but that this was the BEST part of the city and we were safe.

A personal fact about me: I have lived in some of the most dangerous cities in the world, I have taken subways and buses by myself at all hours of the night.  I’ve traveled around the globe alone and my children have faced gun carrying Mexican military men as they have searched our car on a regular basis every morning while driving my girls to school.  I also lived in Mexico with my girls alone while my husband traveled – knowing that Mexico has the highest rate of kidnapping in the world.  I NEVER dreamed these types of dreams, NEVER.

I drove Lee nuts!!!

Finally he spoke to this women who trains police German Shephards. She had one who was ready to go to a family ’cause he was good at every thing but sniffing pot out, but then I talked to my hair dresser and he said that they shed way too much..so if you know me I’m way to clean and orderly for that. The only thing I didn’t do was google my actual address…..

The next step was calling in a security service to put in an alarm system, a young guy came out and did the walk through of the house.  When we got to the back corner of the basement we entered a little room that really is not much of a room – it used to be a room. Like I said the house is huge and has tons of little rooms, this one is the only part of the house that was not remodeled.  I’d never really explored back there due to the creepy factor, but this time I looked around and noticed things I’d not before – like writing on the walls and old notes from long ago.

The young guy got really uptight, when we went upstairs to sign the paper work he realized that he needed some info that I didn’t have on the house so he’d have to return the following day.  As he left the house he said “Mam I don’t mean to be rude with you but this here house is the creepiest that I’ve ever been in and I enter 50 houses a day sometimes. If I were you I’d be careful.”  I giggled and said yeah it’s different and for sure haunted but it’s harmless, I bet it’s just Halloween that’s got you thinking that.”  In a very sweet southern way he looked at me and said “I apologize but I’m not gonna be the one to return tomorrow, I’m gonna request someone else to take over.”

I shook it off and thought oh, well…but after being down in that room I started seeing things differently and the dreams increased.

The house is tricky  ’cause of the layout of it,  like I said there are at least 17 rooms in this house, if you include all the spaces.  At least 8 of these rooms we barely use unless we are entertaining or having house guests.  The house is about 100 years old, I’m not certain how long ago exactly they did a remodel on this house and added a HUGE addition.  Cosmetically they kept the new part in style with the old and really did a fine job, however energetically it feels like two different houses, when folks stay with us it’s like they are in another building completely.

Filling the house was not a problem for us, we shipped all of our belongings from California and that meant combing two houses worth of stuff.  Before moving to Mexico we split our time between our main house in Malibu and an apartment in Sausolito (San Francisco); all that furniture found one eclectic house to fill.

An interesting Tit-bit is that I KNEW that our statue of The Holy Mother Mary HAD to come inside the house and live within our walls.  In fact I was quite stubborn regarding this; she had always stood outside of our homes, as a result her painted cast iron skin had rusted and peeled.  Lee agreed and found a guy to sand blast here and repaint. It took 4 men to move her and the day she came into our house we all felt this wonderful sense of peace.  After all, for over two hundred years she had rested in a church and listened to the secrets of the people, I for sure had many of my own to whisper, what I didn’t know was…so did the walls of this house.