I have moved 8 times in 8 years.

Le’ mee give you the breakdown: When I met Lee, I lived in a SWEET apartment in an old Hollywood style pad while Lee lived on the ranch here in Nashville. However, I knew I couldn’t give up my spot in LA, ’cause fo’ real Nashville felt like the end of the road. So, Lee and I hooked my pad up so that it worked for both of us and the “back and forth” began. I flew at least 21 times during the course of my first pregnancy!

After a year in that apartment, Lee started a business in Malibu. We packed up the apartment, headed up the California coast and settled into a really groovy Malibu Canyon Casa I named the “Shack”. But let mee tell you, we macked this Shack up! I called in Beverly Hills contractors and turned the bungalow-built out trailor-esque construction into a spot to remember. The real deal was the land surrounding the “Shack”: 40 acres of mountains and beach. Once the “Shack” was rocking, we moved outside and turned an old terraced garden into a veggie wonderland. Within weeks, we added a chicken coop and a few donkeys. The icing on this surf-shack lifestyle was the geodesic dome where I learned to paint, dream and keep the keyboard tapping. I rolled a Honda Element and spent most of my days with Bella, watching Lee surf at “First Point.”

Once again, a move was in the works and the Witness (if you haven’t been following the blog, the Witness is my dear friend who has always shown up to witness my growth) helped me load the “Shack’s” belongings onto yet another moving truck. Just as she guided me from our Hollywood apartment, she showed up to help me again, because Lee was out of town both times. The Next move was even higher up- up the mountain that is.

Once Lee’s part of the business was sold, up on a mountaintop is where we went. We went so high up that in the morning the clouds would settle around us like a sea, leaving us on our own private island. Of course, this house had its tricks. It was OFF the grid; it literally had NO electricity and solely ran on solar panels and a propane generator. We had our own well from which our water flowed but without ease, especially in the summer. This was a bit of a problem because by this time I’d added Matilda, an angry goat with great horns, 4 condom-less rabbits who soon grew to 40, and 2 teepees large enough to house a small family. A small family also lived on our land, Leno and Yadi, a great couple who helped us run this mountain top ranch. Stoking the wood-burning stove during cold winter mountain nights was tough and rainy, cloudy days meant that power was to be cherished. Hot days weren’t much better. The propane generator wasn’t very reliable so it was tricky to keep ice cream from melting.  Using air conditioning was just plain wasteful when one is counting every ounce of electricity.

However, the real kicker might have been the sound of rattlesnakes. On warm days I could lay in bed and listen to them rattle. In fact, when I got super spooked, I called “Boe, The Snake Man.” He came to the “Shack” to give me snake protection tips and, after hearing so much rattling, I knew it was time for him to come back. I wasn’t prepared for the fear in his eyes upon arrival. When I asked him if everything was cool, he said, “No maam, I’m nervous. The last time I was up here, I climbed under the house and found a packed den with momma and about 20 babies!

This house is the worst one in all of Malibu!” “Of course it is,” I said.

One night, I came home late with Bella. As I took her out of her car seat, I heard a loud shaking sound so close to my ear that I knew I was about to step on it. I threw her back in the seat and fled down the mountain, always finding safety at Ted and Peggy’s. But all these snakes and powerless days weren’t the deal breaker- it was the fires.

Our house was 30 minutes up the mountain- the hub of Malibu was at least a half hour away. Lee was out of town and forest fires were around the bend. I was pregnant with Lola and had to find some way to get my small zoo safe. We survived and my sister came to my rescue. First, the Witness rolled in, always prepping my every move. Then, my sister brought her own personal organizing army. We moved down the hill and as close to Santa Monica as the Malibu limit goes… Oh, and Lee was in Peru for this move.

Around the same time, Lee and I moved out of our house at the ranch and converted it into an Eating Disorder Treatment Center. The house almost seemed built for it- it had a huge dining room and restaurant-style kitchen. We decided this was the best way to use the space, since we were staying in Malibu most of the time and usually left the large and lovely home empty. The best solution was to down size and take up part-time residency in a 3 bedroom double-wide that I had pimped out.

We figured we would use this little house the few times we came back each year until we decided where to build our new ranch house. Once again, Lee was out of town and I was left to oversee the move. None of the cowboys could figure out why I was so happy to move into a trailer after living in one of the nicest houses in the county? I was actually thrilled ’cause this tiny trailer was our first home on the ranch that didn’t have Lee’s history attached to it.

So, I was responsible for overseeing the deal ’cause Lee was out of town… Are you seeing a pattern here?

A couple years later, Lee entered into a deal in Sausalito, California (San Francisco area) and we set up a home in a fabulous apartment overlooking the bay. I was torn with San Fran ’cause I loved my life in Malibu. I didn’t want to choose, and to be honest I didn’t really give the Sausalito pad a fair shot. However, I did enjoy the ferry rides across the bay, combing the wharf and the farmers market for goodies.

Lee’s part in the Sausalito project ended and once again, we packed up and loaded up. Our house in Malibu was still intact, but we decided we needed to make a change. We wanted an adventure, so all of a sudden, Mexico jumped into the picture. I packed and loaded a storage unit and said goodbye to Malibu. This time, Lee was in town!!!

We moved (Lee was here fully participating) this past week and wow what a quick and fast event that was. Unloading a giant house and putting every single item in it’s new spot all got done in less than 48 hours! Now I’m here in my new house, a house that sits in a neighborhood here in Nashville that actually has sidewalks! I’m reflecting and seeing clearly what’s gone down, I’m also owning my own part in the deal. When we left the Jungle last year, I could barely see in front of myself. I was so wrapped up in the fear of my illness and thoughts of my own mortality that now I understand why we ended up there. We are drawn to both places and people alike that reflect who we are internally.
Last year, I was living in an internal dark place as a victim of sadness and fear. I wrote about the whispering walls of the house and then I left you all hanging and I’m sorry for this. I’ve been trying to process everything and find a way to share it in a positive light. I knew I needed to leave the house before I could discuss it any further. Finding out the history of the space we lived in confirmed my nightmares prompting a quick move and change of scenery…

I’m going to Mexico on Thursday and for sure I will sit and write. Stay tuned, as Mexico opens my heart and my fingers are guided by her wisdom I shall unravel in her arms. I’m going home………