Click below to listen to The Journey by Elliot Goldenthal (off of the Frida Soundtrack)
Gosh, I feel like we haven’t spoken is SO LONG!
I’ve traveled between the worlds since my last written word, I left the states arrived in Mexico and found my true reflection – in the faces of my “Mango Mommas”.
I’m gonna break my past week down fo’ya, journal style and see how it flows…
DAY ONE: My first night I arrived, all I wanted to do was sit and stare at the sea and EAT! Dang, I arrived hungry. I was siked when Senora Gina busted out the homemade tortillas she had brought from my spot in Guadalajara – I get down! Don Lalito (Senora Gina’s husband) says I ate more than him, fo’sho I did. The best part of being with them is how comforting they are, and of course Senora Gina wouldn’t allow me to wash a single dish…leaving my early morning routine behind with the Tennessee weather.
DAY TWO: My Mango Mommas rolled through, hanging by the pool and chatting me up. I also was introduced to a new friend and photographer – Ashley Jordan Gordon. She is fo’sho the real deal, as one of her photos “Girl on Kingsland Road” was just recognized and hung in London’s National Portrait Gallery. Ashley and I immediately clicked and went ahead with plans on shooting a style section for the site!! The real gift was being able to witness her relationship with her mother who had traveled along with Ashley for the week (they have a home just up the way from Senora Gina’s casa).
I’ve been reflecting a bit about mother and daughter relationships as my own mother died at the age that I’ve just turned; my mother never lived past my current age and never saw her 30’s through. In fact in my minds eye I see her only as a 30 something year old woman, when she appears in my dreams she is still young and usually showing off a new haircut; hip and stylish as ever. I guess this is the gift of dying young – you remain young in everyone’s mind. OK, so back to the relationship thing, I’m totally intrigued with how mothers and daughters remain connected and how things transform as the child ages along with the mother? Ashley and her momma were a wonderful gift, ‘cause the two of them are thick as thieves.
Tuesday night I hit the floor, still not sure why, but dang my intestinal wall collapsed, I knew I had arrived exhausted and that’s my big thing right now – learning to not push, taking breaks and resting. Still, my colon literally collapsed, risking a rupture right there in the jungle; Senora Gina stepped to the plate; she and I went straight to soaking my feet in hot water, applying compress’s and drinking umeboshi plum tea. The next day, I bounced back fast…this is part of my process, the first year of healing was rough and now that I’m into the second I get up quicker. I heard my friend who just passed through the veil…don’t loose your line, hold tight and see yourself well. In fact through the twist of excruciating pain I saw him sitting in the chair; as I tossed along all night I was comforted by Senora Gina’s prayers as she whispered to god to allow this attack to pass and grant me the strength to recover. Nothing like a brush with death just before getting older makes for some serious age appreciation.
DAY 3: Wednesday I new some beach time was in need, so Ashley and I planned our shoot and then headed to Playa de los Muertos (the beach of the dead). If you read this blog back in the day when I was living full time in Sayulita you’d remember the story – but since tons of ya’ll are new to my journey, I will share with ya a glimpse of this spot. The name reflects as the town’s cemetery rests right along the shore, during the Dia de los Muertos (day of the dead) folks fill the beach with blankets of food and fun, remembering and hoping to speak with family and friends that have crossed. For me, I head to this beach when I need to cross, ‘cause you know I believe that reincarnation is not something that occurs once we’ve physically died but is constantly happening. For sure the woman I was when I lived in Sayulita is no longer present, only aspects of her…but the current version of MEE has shifted and transformed – gosh the things that I KNEW then and the amount of growth that’s gone down in the past year is huge! This is reincarnation – TRANSFORMING our thoughts and beliefs – OK and hair color! Lol….
Mexican cemeteries have always captivated me as they are full of color, flowers, pictures, and paintings. The mausoleums are more like tiny palaces painted in festive colors red, fuchsia, turquoise, green and marigold. Come the holiday of the dead and Marigolds cover the ground; cemeteries are not a place of death but celebration of life and lives that have been lead.
Back to the beach…the sun felt so so so so good on my body, WOW living in a winter climate after so many years of sunshine year round has been really tough. My mind began to unwind its’ tornado-like spin, reversing the tornado of change – allowing me some space to see where I want to go, Mee as an individual not a mother or wife…but as a being with dreams; it’s been so long since I sat just as Mee. Ashley found a beautiful shell shaped like a boat, I placed a tiny piece of wood in the center. Before entering the water I closed my eyes and gathered my thoughts, just as the waves washed over my feet I imagined all of my fears and doubts fleeing my mind, my heart and intestines – all of the places in my body where I hold things. From the bottom of my feet the sand grabbed hold and all sailed away deep into the veil; now clear in my heart I waited for the next wave, my eyes once again closed and I saw the face of my friend who passed the week before – I spoke via my heart, grab hold and float to your next incarnation – you are loved.
I climbed into bed at 7:30pm and slept straight through to 6am, dreaming of the sea.
To Be Continued….
