Doubting Thomas, breaking up with alter- egos & building new platforms.
February 21, 2012
Farmers market Malibu w/ my people
I drove to my office this morning listening to a sermon on a local Christian radio station (i’m an inspiration junkie). The preacher was talking about Doubting Thomas – one of my most favorite characters from the bible – favorite ’cause I’ve got my own level of Doubting Mee going on from time to time. Not unlike Thomas I too have lived and experienced miracles – everyday miracles like the birth of my children, reclaiming my health with real food i.e. GODS food, listening to the sound of the ocean is a miracle – and yet I still can find myself doubting the magic of life, and the possibilities that a human life is presented.
Doubting Thomas walked with Christ and witnessed first hand the miracles and he too found himself doubting, each time he doubted he separated from his faith. I notice that my doubt grows when I isolate – and I can isolate.
January 25th through February 12th my house was full of “My People” as three rounds of house guests rolled through my house – back to back. Lastly was my sister who showed up with her sleeves pushed up and ready to rock. She stepped into my kitchen and got her COOK on, cleaning and taking care of my girls like no one else could. I slipped into a comfy spot with her and once she left I had a hard time getting back in the game. Dang, running a house hold, working & keeping up with life should NEVER be done the way we do it here in this country – isolated. I KNOW we were meant to live in female communities much like biblical times ( read The Red Tent) and Meso-American cultures.
Once all of “my people” left I got caught in the inner world of Mee and found it harder and harder to reach outside of myself. February in particular is a tricky month, regardless of where one lives, our human bodies are in sync with the solstice and winter is a time to spend indoors, processing & cooking thick rich Stews & soups, dreaming up our next incarnation.
I’ve spent Feb.’s in the jungle, in the Ohio Tundra, NYC winters, deep south freezes and now on the Malibu coast – each February I find myself in the depths of a rabbit hole – craving the next, pushing through the winter soil of myself yearning to bust a bright bulb above ground.
So here I am heading into Spring, gearing up for the next….
My next is a big one, I’ve been away from PKIA building a new website which will bloom in sync with the Tulips – my most favorite flower. This website comes after a bit of break up with my alter ego Princess Know It All. You see I returned from Nashville in January feeling the need to shed my skin and head in a new direction. I told Lee one afternoon, “Lee I feel like I’m breaking up with PKIA.” His response, “Are you kidding me? You are just getting started.” “Nope, watch life is going to take me somewhere else.”
A week later I had a few meetings regarding PKIA and sho’nuff a new direction for PKIA and myself came rolling down the red carpet. I can’t give too many details as I’m now in development with Princess Know It All, but energetically I feel liberated – like I did it, I built her as big as I could and it’s time for me to give her a name and send her off to school, don’t worry I’m not turning my back on her it’s just time for her to take an even bigger life on- after all I’m NOT Princess Know It All – I’m Mee Tracy McCormick and I can stand on my own two feet as she no longer needs my teat. I’ve gotten clear about where I want my focus to roll and it’s all about A Real Food Life and building a community that shares the same faith as I do when it comes to food.
Malibu Community Kitchen NFM
Last week I held a Noble Food Makeover here in Malibu and it was proof that I’m heading in the right direction as we truly created A Community Kitchen.
I was totally blown away by the attendance of so many people – here in Malibu I actually have to roll folks to a waiting list as our Community Kitchen fills up within a day of announcing the class. More than half of the folks that attended this time are parents from the girls school and they are TOTALLY 100% on board for the school food program – which I am beginning next week. Yep I’m GOING IN!
At one point I got quiet, listening to the room - people chopping, stirring, giggling, connecting and sharing secrets. A tear rolled down my cheek as I remembered those lonely days of sitting at a table by myself in Nashville eating to save my life – they are over – I now have community in Nashville & Malibu and a platform to reach into the world so that NO one suffers alone left in isolation feeding their minds doubt.
I invite you to Come with me on this next journey, I’m no longer thinking about the final destination but the magic of the road ahead of me. ’Cause one thing I do know is it’s fixn’ to be a big adventure!
Follow me on Facebook Mee Tracy McCormick or on twitter http://twitter.com/#!/meetracy for updates regarding the new site!
SHAKIN’ DOWN THE SUGAR: PICK YOUR POISON
January 21, 2012
White Bean Cupcakes
I had a private conversation with myself on the way to the school food forum meeting, “Meme you are going to sit back and watch – DON’T VOLUNTEER for anything – you are slammed already with life and work as it is – we are not in Malibu to redo a schools food policy.”
I was pleasantly surprised at the number of people that showed up at 8am, not to mention the wonderful introduction the Colonel and the Coach gave, the administration is 100% in favor of shifting the school’s food policy and creating a much healthier environment. This was a relief because I’d thought based on hear-say that they were going to be the difficult part in the equation. The Colonel himself has dealt with diabetes and shifted his health into a positive direction with food awareness. The Coach too who runs the student store has battled the same issue and came out on top. Coach had brought in an example of what he sells at the student store and one of the Healthy Momma’s picked it up reading the ingredients giving us a breakdown of what unhealthy stuff was in it – or as I like to call it FAKE versus REAL – ’cause to me it’s not about Good Food versus Bad Food – that is a thing of the past and doesn’t get us anywhere now we need to educate people to eat REAL FOOD.
Immediately one of the Sugar Momma’s got in the ring defending the crap (seriously) and attacking the Healthy Momma saying. “I teach my kids what to buy and not to buy and they know better. So I don’t give them any money to buy it if I don’t like it. It’s all about you and how your parenting- I have no problem with this stuff.” Well you know where that went for 10 minutes – battlefield. I got in the game asking them all if we were all there to create a healthier student store and bake sale? The answer? NO! A handful of these people were so dead set against giving up the pringles, m&m cookies and birthday cupcakes that you’d a thought the healthy momma’s were trying to pass out condoms – not whole grains!!!!
Then the Diet Soda Warrior went OFF and not in the Healthy Mommas favor! Yep, waving a diet soda with a big old SPLENDA written across the top – carrying on about how once and a while a little red food dye isn’t enough to give their kid cancer and beside we all have cancer in our bodies (this point is true as study’s have shown weakened immune systems are linked to high numbers of cancer) what I wasn’t able to say was: sugar weakens the immune system and every 4 grams is equal to one teaspoon – the cookies in question had 18 grams =’s just over 4 teaspoons – so I say this is not a positive snack choice for a mid day school break. Do kids need 4 teaspoons of sugar especially since we know it is linked to lack of focus? The Diet Soda Warrior’s rant continued as they waved the diet soda some more. Mind you this cancer reference was just after I’d finished telling my story regarding the diagnosis regarding intestinal cancer that I faced a few years back. Their rant stung like a bee.
Finally I pushed my chair back from the table, “I’m Shocked” slipped from below my breath. I couldn’t and can’t believe that in Malibu, California there was a room full of women and men fighting to keep the damn cookie! I don’t KNOW of an elementary school that sells crap on the playground anymore. I could feel all the invisible energetic daggers thrown my way, I stumbled with my words having lost my footing. Of all the places I’ve taught NEVER have I experienced such rage and anger regarding shifting a food policy. My goodness, even in the deep south where many people I’ve spoken to believe that macaroni and cheese is a vegetable totally UNDERSTOOD the need to remove processed foods and sugar, especially when in relationship to our kids.
I tried to express myself but all I could do was pick my jaw up off of the ground, then I had a thought – these people are the parents of my children’s peers – if I get in the ring with them then our relationship will effect my girls – it’s a tiny school and y’all know hate can spread. I want my girls to be happy and supported, I don’t have a dog in this hunt – I AM running my home kitchen, packing lunches and as much as I’d like to support a student store and 8th grade bake sale I can just say NO to my girls when they ask for a dollar; Sugar Ray I ain’t.
Even when I told them that I would teach the kids to cook, that if they implemented a food policy and created a HEALTHY student store this could influence the enrollment, especially since I’m working with preschool mommas in the the community – teaching them to cook real foods. They still threw their daggers. Then I gave them fuel, I said, “Hey we can even make cupcakes using black or white beans instead of flour.”(click here for recipe) The crowd roared and they have been blasting me with bombs ever since – ! WHAT how dare you feed our kids beans – we want refined sugars & flours! How dare you add fiber to their diets! The big concern was that kids like to eat things that are bright and playful – sprinkles & M&M’s… SERIOUSLY?
I gotta tip: If you want food to be more appealing to your families tell them that it will help them focus, remain calm, learn easier, keep colds away, help them grow and allow them the opportunity to grow OLD and not miss out on life due to suffering from a preventative disease. Explain to them where food comes from, visit farms, cook fresh produce with them – hold a line with them and be the ADULT.
Why are we as adults PROJECTING our issues and unhealthy traditions & food cravings onto our children? Why do we have to decorate food, make it pink & pretty – have we not learned from the cereal aisle in the grocery store where this thinking leads us?
Finally the meeting came to an end, a handful of folks lingered, they were the ones on the Healthy Momma’s teams & the Colonel, who truly believe in foods that support the body as opposed to those that crash it.
I left in a spin cycle, what had just happened? What was I going to do? I’d offered to teach but at what price, becoming the target for anger and fear?
That night tucked under my down comforter my mind spun in circles, dang I’d stepped in a big pile of stinky shadubbie – how in the heck was I going to back out and WHY did I think I needed to volunteer to teach folks that don’t want to learn. I sent a late night email to the Colonel telling him I was too afraid to get involved, his reply was “Lets talk”.
I entered his office the next morning and was greeted with a hug, then I plopped down onto the couch a jumble and bumble of words flying from my mouth – and there he sat high above “the traffic” holding an aerial point of view, calm as a Colonel. I stopped my rant and felt God’s hand on my shoulder, guiding me back, reminding me of my agreement with life – I’d crawled on my knees before the Tilma in Mexico City, praying to Our Lady Of Guadalupe at my sickest and weakest that when I was well I would share my energy and health, that as long as I remain well I will be of service. As I glanced into the Colonel’s face I saw we are the same; he came out of retirement to resurrect this tiny school proving that life is about being of service.
I told him my plans, OK so I will teach the 8th grade class 5 lessons starting with cooking WHOLE grains, moving onto legumes, vegetables – leafy greens included, fish omega 3′s, a soup and ending with a dessert at the end of the series the kids can then prepare “A Meal That Heals” – having learned about food from a different perspective- one where food actually has a job & a purpose.
Looks like I’m fixin’ to roll into the deep, I just hope I’m a strong enough swimmer & the red dye sharks stay at bay.
Home on the ranch..& Welcome back to Oz.
January 11, 2012
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- HOG-BUCKET!
(click here to watch video blog of our ranch life)
It’s tough to know where to start so I’m going to do my best to lay it out where it begins closest to my heart… I have a home.
Lee and I have been roaming for 10 years. Yes we have had many homes on our ranch many of which now serve as treatment buildings serving the drug and alcohol center. But none of these were ever really places that we felt a belonging too. They were either from his past, or his momma had such a strong hand in their design that they never felt like “us” and now we have finally put some roots down.
After spending 3 weeks in Tennessee, sleeping in a house made by hand and living off of the land, I’m feeling like a crazy person in this little prefab box – our California casa.
We took apart an old house on our ranch, built in the early 1800′s – in fact it is listed as the oldest house left standing in the entire county. We refurbished the wood and restored her to her original self. I refer to this house as a woman because for many years our foreman of the cattle company lived there. I’d stop by and sit on their sofa always hearing a woman whisper into my ear, “I used to be pretty, simple & uncomplicated.” Then my eyes would search the house looking for clues connecting me through time. I’d imagine her sitting up on the hill as she once was – proud, fresh her apron neatly pressed – topped with a green tin roof.
Lee and I took our time deciding whether to build a new house or to makeover this one – however the old woman called our name. When we began to redo the house she spoke to us and filled both our brains with images to follow through in the remodel. Lee took his time finding doors and handles, windows, pieces of old barn wood and recycled fixtures, as many as he could from the original plantation buildings that now is our ranch and matching the time period.
Our bedroom is on the first floor in the front of the house in keeping with the fashion of the times of the original, a grand fireplace heats it at night and keeps my large sunken claw foot tub warm with its flame.
Whats most amazing about this sweet old house is that she is happy we are there and that I am able to share in her memories. I was frightened she would reject me and I would not feel the warmth of a family homestead. A great gift was that I instantly nestled in as if I’d returned to a place I’d been.
Every night I’d climb under the covers and dream magnificent adventures. Some directly related to my life and others from a world before I was born. One evening I was standing in front of the old fireplace in the living room leaning on the amazing refurbished mantle gazing deep into the original mirror just as MANY had done before, I realized I had joined the lineage of all of those that had lived in this house; and like a dream behind me a row of women dressed accordingly to their time period appeared- then I heard her, the house whisper once again, you are the first woman to own this house – it has always belonged to our husbands. A razor cold chill ran through my bones and I almost cried – it is true, this is my first home that I Mee Tracy McCormick have owned, it is the first place that can not be taken away from me since the death of my mother. My husband saw to this and for it I am most grateful. The women of this house’s lineage too are honored.
A Mans Noble Ways
The next few weeks I found myself lost in an unpacking of boxes, cooking and entertaining – my sister, nephew and person MaryAlice became our first house guests and only the beginning of a line of visitors. Lee and I are very social people, and since the ranch is almost an hour from Nashville there are no restaurants for me to eat in. This means I am COOKING non-stop and sharing with every one who drops by and let me tell you farm folks are known to knock on your door and give you a shout out – there is no such thing as soloist living on a ranch – it is about community. My closest people out on the ranch are Jane Ellen & her family, Christmas was scary for them as her husband ended up in the hospital – he is diabetic and going rounds with his body. Once he got out he was there in my kitchen, eating my food & taking his life back. It was unbelievable to watch this man and his family rise to the occasion – finding their personal nobility via food and taking responsibility.
The most fortunate gift is that I have acres of organic produce just out in the pasture to pick daily. Thanks to Ginny & David Lundell (our partners on the farm) my refrigerator was full of heirloom Italian broccoli, collards, kale, turnips and mustard greens, we also have mushroom logs growing shitake! The Chinese cabbage was beyond beautiful so large I couldn’t believe it was real. The weather was grand too – in the 60′s most days – old man winter has not yet come to the south and the girls loved the pony riding weather.
HOG-BUCKET!
I think this Christmas I received the best gifts of any ever before here is how I rank them: #1 HOG BUCKET (for scraps to feed our 3 hogs, Luna, Stella & Oscar) #2 a rockin’ chopping board & a slammin’ set of knives, #3Food from my garden, #4OUR HOUSE #5 my family & friends being together, #6 A new GL450 Lee finally traded his Porsche and got me something practical – it’s 4 wheel drive is excellent for the pastures and of course lastly and most importantly I felt great in my body!
The event I loved most was our cattle company Christmas party held at a local farm to table restaurant in Dickson. We gathered all of the people that make the running of the ranch and farm possible – I stood next to my husband feeling a huge wave of gratitude for our lives – then I looked around the room and felt pride – we (all of us that work at the ranch) are really contributing to society in a big way – we are growing REAL FOOD locally, we are part of a truly local economy. Farmers KNOW that real food is what humans are meant to eat. Being that in the United States there are more men in prison than there are farmers brings an even deeper level of nobility to the men and women at the ranch. If we do not take back our land and food, reclaiming our work ethic – who will feed our children’s children? ‘Cause corporate crops of Soy & Corn aren’t gonna cut it.
The surprise gift is that one of the most important people I’ve given my book to wrote me on Christmas Day – THEY LOVE IT! This is a big deal ’cause as y’all know I’ve compared writing books to Coco Channel and her start which was making hats – she kept making them until someone bought them and in her case that was another fashion designer who had the ability to sell them to many people. Well the person interested in my “hat” has the potential to sell them to MILLIONS of folks..I cried seriously wept – not because they like the book but because they completely understood it and me. This is the most important part of the deal forming a relationship that is in alignment.
New Years Eve we burnt a real old fashion yule log in the fireplace letting go of the past and welcoming the future, in the morning we sprinkled the ashes from it in the garden – this was a wonderful gift from Ginny & David. Just before night Isabella led us all in prayer and Lee played his guitar. I was with my people in my very first new – old home.
I wrapped my stay up by connecting to as many of my people as possible, I didn’t do a NFM nor cook on the morning show – this trip was about connecting to home.
Coming back to LA was almost impossible – literally it took 3 airplanes and two airlines to do it. Then they lost our luggage which has yet to appear. It felt as if we were traveling between worlds – leaving the farm and its simplicity to land in a busy city that focuses on the exterior felt shocking and I twisted questioning my personal value – feeling like Dorthy. However this time I’ve already been to see the Wizard and KNOW that he doesn’t have all the answers. It’s hard to live in OZ when I’ve come full circle accepting home and what and where I come from. I was born in Appalachia, moved to Ohio in first grade yet spending summers in Appalachia somewhere along the way it wasn’t good enough and I thought I needed a more cosmopolitan life. Now that I’ve made peace home is calling and OZ has lost it’s glitzy slippers.
What will I do next? In the morning I will return to the girls school for the SHAKIN’ DOWN THE SUGAR FORUM..Lord don’t let these people eat me alive.
Dreams, Schools & The SWEET Truth..Communities changing what children are fed.
December 18, 2011
The other day we (Mee & Those People) were driving through one of the giant mountain canyon passes that connect Malibu to the valley, listening to some of our favorite country jams. This led the girls and me to talking about our trip home next week to Nashville. Bella got quiet and then I heard sniffles. Both her and Lola were sobbing, they wanna go home and so do I. Bella asked, “Momma why are we here again?” ” ‘Cause I’ve got some work to do and it can only be done here. Plus we’ve been having an adventure, aren’t you happy?”
This opened the flood gates, tears flowed and for the first time since our arrival both my girls sobbed for Nashville. I guess the thought of returning to our comfy spot is a message that we can all stop holding on so tight. It’s been a ton of changes the last 3 months and getting set up is a totally different thing than “getting here”. We are still somewhere else in side – not knowing for how long we will be here keeps all of us just one step away from the edge of change- or so it feels.
This past lunar eclipse put me through it. I woke up for two or 3 nights in a row due to my mind twisting with rambling inner trash talk. Each night I’d close my eyes talking to me about me, “Come on girl relax and let us dream up a sign leading to the direction that we need to be taking in our waking life.” Boy did my dream self not let me down – I had some whoppers one in particular took me by my arm.
I was in a car driving towards a large body of fresh water, the road was hilly and I could physically feel the drops in my tummy. We arrived at an old folks home where we were greeted (we being me and my friend Gretchen) by a nurse. She said, “You need a reading girl. Come this way, they will see you next.” We made our way down a dimly lit hallway stopping at the last room on the right. A woman, well I think she was a woman she seemed to be both or neither – I guess ’cause it didn’t matter. Her skin was brown and her eyes round chocolate saucers. She tapped at a chair for me to sit in and then took my hands and the world disappeared . I couldn’t take my eyes off of her chocolate saucers and her ever spreading face, she was expanding then she said, “You are growing into a very big person, you are becoming the person you wanted to be and if you want you will grow very much. Just don’t worry it is only time and time is moving quickly.” Suddenly I looked into those eyes of her and saw that they were mirrors and it wasn’t her that was spreading out before me but it was really me that I was seeing! She dropped my hands & I caught my breath, the room returned along with the nurse. She said, “The Oracle is tired now.” You must leave. I woke up.
The next night I dreamed again, this time I was with some kind of priestess she was pushing and pushing me to answer her questions. But her questions were difficult as the answers were locked deep inside of me in a room without a key far away from the Mee that I am, ’cause they were placed by the girl that I was – the one who was afraid to speak her truth. I looked around and there were Indians hunting in the marsh and the woman priestess said, “Life here in Alaska is very difficult.” Then she went back to pushing on me with questions. Finally I opened my mouth and a huge amount of truth came flying, my truth was so very big that it caused a tidal wave that blew the priestess away, as she was pulled back into the sea her eyes danced with joy and I felt free – I heard her say she was proud of Mee.
This morning I woke up choking, in my dream a walnut was lodged in my throat. I know why I dreamed this. You see a few days ago one of the momma’s from the school my girls attend sent an email around regarding the student store that is run to raise school funds. Only problem is that they sell pens, pencils, erasers and crappy JUNK i.e. candy & other unhealthy snacks. Her point was that the school coach tells the kids to remind their momma’s to give them a few bucks so they can be sure to buy some from the store or from one of the bake sales that frequent the campus (again to raise money). So the little boy comes home asks momma for a dollar she tells him no I don’t want you to eat any of that stuff and then he feels as if he’s letting his beloved coach and school down. Of course I jumped in on the email writing my opinion, “I too wanted to support the student store and then I saw what my girls were choosing and were eating and thought – OH NO. I work very hard to keep the sugar and processed foods from our house. When we go into the world it’s like walking through land mines. The worst place to have to do food battle is within the school grounds where peer pressure has more power than parental guidance. Unfortunately young children don’t have the ability to completely understand what a “healthy choice” is if they are offered chips a hoy or an apple – they want the chips a hoy. Bake sales can still exists but with healthier guidelines.
Feeding our children real food is the greatest gift we can physically provide and REAL food leads to better focus, balanced hormones (yes young children have hormones which effect the thyroid, adrenal glands effecting emotional reactions), stronger immune systems as sugar weakens the lining of the digestive track. Finally by providing real food we are sending a message to our children that we CARE and to our community that we are a group of parents that take ACTION.
Mee Tracy McCormick”
Well of course my response fueled the momma fire and before I knew it I received two emails from teachers concerned about what to serve the kids for after school classes and holiday parties – a TIZZY was brewing. You see now The Sugar Pushers are fix in’ to rumble with the Healthy Mommas.
At pick up last night two of the Healthy Momma’s were chatting about how they’d just danced with The Colonel aka The Principal (I call him this because at halloween he dressed up as the KFC man with an uncanny resemblance – lugging a bucket of chicken!). The two Healthy Momma’s were in full on spinning mode. Seems their curbing the sugar efforts were not well received from the administration – bake sales and student stores are part of the schools history and ain’t NO BODY down with letting go of the crank – aka sugar! One of the women was even wondering if she should remove her child from the school.
I knew I was fix’n to dance when they told me that they were told this, one of the DUMBEST responses: That if your child is fed healthy foods at home they will make healthy choices – OK I gotta call bull shit when I sniff it – my kids are amazing eaters but if you dangle a cookie covered in crappy pink frosting full of hydrogenated oils and your the person of authority selling it – whom they trust – they are going to buy it!
Later, when I told this to Lee he said, why don’t we put cigarette machines all over and see what the upper kids choose?
After listening to these disappointed Healthy Momma’s tell their tales and I said, “Nah, don’t worry I got this. I know these people are not so stupid. After all California is supposed to be so health conscious and Malibu the upper echelon of our society for sure should know that candy & refined sugars sold doing school hours is a total sabotage to the entire school community – the kids & teachers. I’m gonna go have me a chat with The Colonel.
Funny thing happened along the way, I’d picked up on the fear of one of these momma’s and it had me balling my fists and I was reacting from a place of assumption, as I approached the office God moved through me, shifting my energy – realigning me with my hearts intention : TO PREVENT KIDS & ADULTS FROM GETTING SICK and going through what I myself have gone through.
I walked into his office I saw a man who is worn out by the end of a long day full of dealing with issues, complaints and concerns. I felt a huge wave of compassion for The Colonel especially ’cause I was fixn’ to take his bucket of chicken. I said, “Hey there how are you today? I know everyone is in a big old tizzy about the sugar situation but I just wanted to let you know that I’m here to help. I know you don’t know who I am or what I do but helping folks shift their relationships with unhealthy processed foods is my forte.” I gave him not a second to even share his opinion on the subject – I was running on jacked up air. “I’m super busy right now but I’m going to come in and teach your upper classes to bake real baked goods using REAL ingredient with unrefined sugars and even toss in some things that support the body instead of breaking it down. Then the upper kids can sell their healthy baked goods to the younger kids and inspire the entire community to try new things – shifting out of the old paradigm, ‘Cause I mean it’s just plain crazy that folks would actually want to keep feeding their babies things that harm them.”
He then told me there was going to be a meeting regarding the sugar situation on January 10th and could I be there? I said, “Fo’sho shawty and even better I will come with a tray of yummy healthy goodies. ’Cause it ain’t the kids who are hard to change but the momma’s and poppas who will not let go of their STUFF on many levels – children always want to improve and school is the most appropriate place to educate.”
That sweet old Colonel stood up and hugged me goodbye, he is a good man who walked into a school that had a rough couple years and he is in charge of the clean up crew and I know something else – the families that are at this school remained through the rough times ’cause they care deeply. As I walked outside it dawned on me, most folks don’t know what healthy is and are so afraid it’s gonna taste bad, and even more that they will be judged for how they have been eating and feeding “those people” that they remain in an unhealthy rut.
My dreams were making sense, I was once again gonna expand and last nights dream where I was choking on a walnut was ’cause lord knows what my truth releasing did was put more work on my plate, and do I really want to take on a another community’s poor food addictions? Y’all know where I’ve been with folks that don’t wanna change and it’s a heck of hike up hill – but worth it. I just closed my eyes & made a promise – as long as I’ve got my health I shall be of service – I call this gratitude in action.
Farm 1.5 yrs ago
Well I gotta run ’cause Jane Ellen is texting me pictures from my farm house where a slew of movers are unloading trucks with our furniture into our finally finished farm house which means we made it back from the floods that threatened to take our livelihood a year and a half ago. Lee and I are here in Malibu directing via phone and my inner control freak is running a mind game on me. Can’t wait to get home to my sweet Tennessee life….
Thanksgiving, Hunting Jade, Big Sur, Black Friday & Occupy San Francisco
December 5, 2011
(Click here to watch videos from the road)
We left Malibu Tuesday afternoon and drove non-stop to Big Sur. This would be my first time driving up the coast. 5 years ago Lee worked on a project in Sausalito which allowed us the opportunity to take an apartment over looking the Bay. I’d fly up north packing “those people” (my girls) to meet Lee, spending a week or two at a time roaming the city of San Francisco via the ferry boat that crossed the foggy bay. However I now know that to completely understand the state of California one must see it all from the road.
Stop 1 was the red wood forest – I’d first fallen for these magnificent beings on a visit to Muir Woods, if you don’t believe in etherial worlds then visit this forest. We arrived well into the darkness staying at Big Sur Lodge located in the forest. Our super cute cabin included a wood burning fireplace – no tv and no phone. The best part about family road trips is that we all become one connected unit, no distractions allowing our roles to be just that momma, daddy, sisters. After a yummy rest in the cold pacific air we inhaled a great breakfast and hiked into the woods. All I could think about as we moved through the tribes of red woods – yep, tribe ’cause they stand together in clusters -never alone, always supported by one another – a mirror for our family. I thought about their giant roots connecting them deep into the earth. I was sure to breath as deeply as possible inhaling the massive amounts of oxygen these gems were giving off.
We drove on to Sonoma County where we spent the most wonderful few days with Nanny & Bubba (Ted & Peggy) my adopted adult parents – I met them in my early 20′s – they’d not had children and I was still in need of a momma and a daddy. They stepped in and have been the most amazing influence in my life. My girls know them as their grandparents & the adoration we all share is beautiful. On Friday Lee and I headed into to San Francisco, leaving the girls with Nanny & Bubba.
Our first stop was Mill Valley, I really like this little town with it’s quaintness, simple style and fresh food restaurants. Lee and I stumbled into the Mill Valley Hat Box, an old school hat store where I bought my first Stetson Fedora. We booked a swanky hotel and a reservation at Millennium Restaurant. What we didn’t take into consideration was that our hotel was located literally on top of Old Navy in the shopping district of San Francisco and our Friday get away was BLACK FRIDAY! Holy cow was it NUTS! I’d not planned on shopping at all on Black Friday and to find myself smack dab in the middle of CRAZY TOWN was something else. As we stepped out of our hotel to walk to Millennium we marched right into a giant protest – OCCUPY folks were going head to head with CONSUMER- AHOLICS. Lee and I found ourselves paralyzed by it all, and we weren’t the only ones watching, there were plenty of people NOT holding shopping bags standing on the outskirts figuring out what it all means – asking themselves are we the 99%? All I know is that there is something happening here y’all and as soon as the message can be delivered in a clear and coherent voice WE are going to participate, ’cause shawty – Humans Are Not Commodities and the only way things will change is when WE all see our value.
After crossing through the Occupy /Consumer mayhem we found our way to Millennium Restaurant – FANTASTIC FOOD! Lee my cowboy husband LOVED his dinner too – a vegan restaurant that has nothing hippy, crunchy or health food esque feeling to it. A 5 star experience that could totally run with all the big dog restaurants everywhere. A FLASH OF LIGHT- all I could think about was my “Plan B”. You see when I first moved to LA 15 years ago a young gal, I made a promise to myself,”If this place doesn’t work out I am moving to Key West to be a waitress, hang out on a beach and live my life.” There I was sitting in Millennium and a new Plan B filling my mind. I sat watching the guys in the kitchen knock out that amazing food while I dreamed up how I could get a job washing dishes, chopping veggies for a year. Living close to Ted and Peggy and sucking in this eclectic city, while I train in this fine kitchen – learning what I don’t know. The second half of Plan B is to return to Nashville and rock a little cafe and cooking school…
All this “kitchen work” is partly because I’ve just wrapped up a session of technical chef skills with Chef Rectum in Los Angeles. I’d enrolled the moment we arrived in LA this past September. I’d decided that I wanted to learn the basics of “regular cooking” meaning animal & dairy. After all I do cook grass fed beef on occassion and once in a very blue moon organic chicken. ‘Cause I don’t ever want to be so rigid that I miss out on learning something new. The class was small only 6 of us with an occasional visitor. I jumped in like a kid happy to start kindergarten. I didn’t tell ANYONE who I was, what I do or what I KNOW. Instead I just said, “Hi I’m Meme, from Nashville and I want to learn as much as you can teach me.” Truth be told, I didn’t want PRINCESS KNOW IT ALL to come out, ’cause she is the cock blocker of my growth. So, I kept it under wraps and by the way I cut the veggies the first time around NO ONE would know I’d ever cooked before let alone on TV!
Reflecting back I see what I learned and that was how to cut an onion, tomato, make chicken stock and that an asshole always shows his or her rectum. In particular Chef Rectum revealed her stinky bottom to me when she referred to Tennessee as a place of white trash – how it all went down was one afternoon we were making mussels. I commented that I’d thought that muscles were fancy and difficult to prepare. Judith the Jew (I only call her this because she must have mentioned in every sentence that she is Jewish, which is great as I am a Hebrew speaking half kosher woman myself) so she says in her New York/ Beverly Hills accent, “Honey Fancy? Everybody knows mussels are the white trash of the sea.” I busted out laughing, ’cause the thing about Judith the Jew is she’s super funny without knowing it. Chef Rectum says in her tough I don’t take any shit ’cause I’m a woman who has worked around men for a long time kinda voice, “What’s so funny over there?” I started to tell her, then Judith The Jew hits me in the ribs, “Don’t say anything she has no sense of humor.” Of course I’d already shared what Judith said, not sure if it was hard for Chef Rectum to hear since her ears obviously are covered by her pants, but she looks at me and says, “I’ll tell you what’s white trash, anybody from Tennessee. Everybody knows that’s where white trash lives.”
I busted out laughing, seriously was she telling me about white trash – after all isn’t being a BIGOT the worst form of white trash? Then she says, “Besides mussels are very Italian, the Italians love them.” I responded very calmly in front of the class and in my best Tennessee accent, “Well I was trying to tell you before you insulted me that my grandmother who came from Italy used to make them but that of course was before we threw all of our shoes away and ran over the hills of Tennessee to “f&%!” our brothers.”
Then I looked over at Michael The Curmudgeon (his nose is always so far up Chef Rectums behind) struggling to remove a “tuff” of seaweed from a mussels shell also known as the “beard” I said, “Be sure to get all of it as I’d hate to pluck a muscle’s white trash pubic hair from my teeth at the dinner table.” He almost choked! Then I sat down to enjoy my meal, NO one knew what to do with me as I complimented the food, cleaned up my area, removed my apron and said good night for the last time. So you see now I’m thinking real good and hard about where I want to do my next round of schooling.
Saturday we hoofed it all around China Town in search of magical Jade (check out my style page to see what I’m talking about) and then I screwed up and ate in a tiny little Chinese restaurant – I ordered veggies, white rice and a cup of tea – but the oil was bad and no good for my tummy and I hit the floor Saturday night. Yep, I still am very careful with my food and will be for the rest of my life. The good news is that I get back up quicker and Nanny and Bubba took great care of me and the girls.
Now I’m home and writing to you from my new office in Malibu…I’m plugging away but loving that I’ve got a plan B - if need be.
Women Supporting Women: Tour Adelante!
November 15, 2011
Check it out my girl Nely Galan is up to something good, she has set out to fulfill dreams and I’m all about supporting one another! If you didn’t know I also run princessknowitall.com in Spanish laprincesasabelotodo.com and Nely’s program can connect the two sites via our hearts! Check out the details below and pass this on to folks you know! 
“Coca-Cola has partnered with Latina inspirational speaker and media entrepreneur Nely Galán (“Celebrity Apprentice” “The Swan”) and Count Me In for Women’s Economic Independence (CMI) to create the Coca-Cola Tour: Adelante, a digital community and series of forums intended to empower Hispanic women by providing them with the tools and information to reach their goals. The community launches on Facebook in mid-November and to kick off the Tour, Coca-Cola is hosting a day-long forum for Latinas in Los Angeles on Saturday December 3. The Forum – which is free of charge – will take place in Santa Monica. Latinas must apply online at www.CocaColaTourAdelante.com. Only 300 women will be invited to attend.
“The Coca-Cola Tour: Adelante is meant to create a movement that informs, mentors and inspires Latinas to take action by providing them with the right tools to make their dreams come true,” said Nely Galán.
d Part 2: Two Homes & Two Tables To Share – A Community that cooks together STAYS together.
November 12, 2011
Something has been happening in my life..my garden is growing.
Our Organic Farm
When I last left y’all I’d just finished cooking on the NBC morning show in Nashville and I was gearing up for the Noble Food Makeover. Gearing up is right ’cause we packed the house!!!!!!! Holy cow did folks show up, and this is telling – PEOPLE want to take their kitchens back, they want to feel empowered and own their choices.
I first started the NFM out of a desire to share what I’d learned - food is for supporting our bodies, it’s not expensive to cook real food, it’s really simple to do and finally that not only can we prevent illness, boost our immune systems but also heal our lives on many levels by seeing ourselves and owning our choices. I’d been alone with my illness, alone with my fear and alone in my kitchen the first year of doing this – I wanted to swap my lonely table to full seated down home kitchen, with others that were too taking their power back, learning what they didn’t know and healing their lives. Many years ago the kitchen is where people went for support, momma’s, grand daddy’s, children, aunts and uncles and neighbors gathered in the kitchen as it took time to prepare our daily meals. This time was spent laughing, crying, loving and sharing – sharing remedies and recipes for what ailed us. The folks running the kitchens were almost never CHEFS, they were regular folks that had been trained by the best – women who KNEW what to do.
Once I was standing on my own two feet I did just this, creating a community table where we can all be supported in our lifestyle changes – the most important beauty makeover ever is one that comes from the inside out. How ever this makeover a special person, one who recognizes their value and the value of their loved ones.
In Nashville I cook at the Integrative Life Center on Music Row, there is only a tiny kitchen, therefore I set up 5 recipe stations that include, table, butane burner, cutting boards, knives and the ingredients needed for each tables recipe. Cooking this way shows people how little they need to cook a full meal with nothing processed – that a fancy kitchen and high dollar ingredients and utensils are unnecessary. I know from my own experience before learning to cook, I’d watch most of the cooking shows and I’d think to myself – he or she is a trained chef of course they can do it, or look at that fabulous kitchen of course they can cook like that. the NFM brings it all back into perspective – simple food, simple kitchens – real people.
Everyone walks in grabs a seat we chat a bit about the giant WHY we want to eat this food – example Butternut Squash is a fall POWER food, packed with vitamin A, Vitamin C, Fiber and beta carotene making it a super immune booster – who knew? Then we all get to work, cooking, chopping, peeling and preparing – yep, it’s a bit chaotic, funny and fun – much like preparing a Holiday Meal with people you really like. It takes about an hour to cook it all then we clear the tables, pull out the table clothes and sit together as a community. I love all parts of these events but the sitting together is my favorite part; as we discuss our relationship with food, our health concerns, parenting and rehash the craziness that just went down.
Fred!
This past Nashville NFM left me speechless as I looked around the room watching everyone work together. This journey started out with just me cooking away, cleaning away, begging people to try real food, and now it’s grown to close to 40 and a core group of 10 people that basically help make it happen, each time we do it the core group expands – this ain’t no longer a MEE thing but a WE thing. I watched as my D.F.F. forgot about the pain in her liver as her focus shifted to being a part of something greater. Mary Alice ran the Millet Mash table and the all mighty Fred jumped from situation to situation. Jane Ellen and her kids, chopped, swept and organized and Diana stood washing greens from my garden in the tiny sink – all along I heard whispers as people shared tips and tid bits. Empowering on all levels is all I can say.
Boarding that plane for LA I questioned what we are all doing in LA. I love being a person of value, I love having something to share with my community and I appreciate belonging, our farm and cattle ranch is a pillar in the community, Lee does his share of participation there too and the core values of the people are the finest for my children to learn from- Nashville holds my heart. The entire plane ride I spun with questions, searching to get it right and get it tight with my own personal intention, ’cause fo’ sho shawty life follows what we desire.
Once I landed I was in full NFM swing as there were just a few days left to prepare for the first one to be held in Malibu – I was nervous, my “crew of Nashville NFM folks” weren’t here to do this with me, I didn’t know if being in a completely different demographic was going to make it tough. I also didn’t know how much west coast folks already know – there is nothing worse than telling people what they already know and boring them. Then of course my self judgement tried to take over, “Hi I’m Not Enough”
after all I’m just a regular lady who learned to cook food that heals – is this enough in such a fabulous place like Malibu? Are people out here going to enjoy an evening reminiscent of a country kitchen gathering? Ooh, I was NERVOUS!
To make matters worse, the babysitter I’d hired was a NO SHOW and Lee was in Nashville for the weekend! Luckily a friend helped out her sitter cancelled too so she wasn’t going to be able to make it, she offered to keep the girls and I took her up on it.
Malibu NFM Crew
Location: The California Ocean of Learning Preschool, I made it in time and immediately got to prepping. At 5:30pm folks started arriving and I put them to work. The kitchen was absolutely perfect a nice gas stove, a long wooden table for chopping and chatting – game on!
Within 2.5 hours I taught them to make Butternut Squash soup w/carrot apple & ginger, millet pilaf, millet croquettes and millet mash with Kuzu gravy! Yep, we started with one grain and I showed them what you can do with it from start to left over finish. (click her for recipes).
We had a blast, a TON of laughs and then we too sat together, as I looked down the long family style table I felt this wave of gushy love overcome me – I understood what the Noble Food Makeover is really about – creating a space where we can all gain confidence to learn and try what we don’t know. I have now done this project cooking in every type of kitchen, from a predominately African American community in the south, to music row, to the finest homes in Nashville as a private teacher to now Malibu – one of the wealthiest communities in world and y’all wanna know what? Money, fame, location and even higher education do not separate us – we are all lost in the journey of what is actually healthy, how to cook it, where to buy and how to feed it to our families; the thread that binds us is the understanding that Food Desert’s are happening not only in low income households but at times more often then not in some of the wealthiest. This is not a battle for the government but a CHOICE for the people. The Noble Food Makeover is bringing back personal Nobility, one table at a time and hopefully one day it will come to yours. (peep this video & meet the Malibu Crew!
I returned to my house and crawled into bed – fulfilled drifting off to sleep nestled in deep and wrapped in a blanket of value, belonging and appreciation – my world is big and by the grace of God I have many places to call home, I guess planting seeds can deliver more than just greens – it can also feed communities the desire to expand. Malibu you too inspire Mee to grow.
PART ONE: Two Homes.
November 3, 2011
NBC NASHVILLE MORNNG SHOW
San Antonio is glowing below me. I’m headed home and leaving home simultaneously. That song by The Steve Miller Band fills the background of my memory, “Big old jet airliner, don’t carry me too far away.” My inner world is full of reflection – storyboard like scenes move through my mind as I recall the events of the past 10 days.
I left Malibu Saturday morning, only after having cooked enough food to fill my families belly for the weekend ahead. Lee remained home with the girls and Mr. Mom’d it big time. Of course I felt torn leaving my girls, but what I KNOW is that they NEED time alone with their Daddy, they need to KNOW he is capable, they also need to learn as sisters to take care of each other. You see I have another character inside of me, her name is “HI I CAN DO IT ALL”, she takes over and runs it, micro manages every detail and works until she is bone exhausted and never says NO, not asking for help, and of course slowly acquiring resentment. This week was fantastic to witness from afar, Lee jumped in – taking the girls to the park, organizing snacks and lunches, responding to emails from the school and tending to Lola as she caught a bug. The bottom line is little girls’ need a strong relationship with their daddy’s and mommies need breaks from mommy hood. With that said I can’t get home fast enough, I have missed all of “Those People” so very much.
It was strange to return to Nashville with out them, Lee had always been the reason that we ever traveled to Nashville – we’d go back to the ranch to spend time and then we’d moved there full time thinking we needed to be closer to our businesses and to support Lee – Funny thing is we moved back for Mee.
Landing in Nashville and driving to Ginza my favorite sushi spot to meet Mary Alice (my person) and Jane Ellen (she is my right hand on the Ranch, my dear friend and confidant) I had an epiphany – I was returning HOME to WORK on a project I created – holy cow, Nashville had become my home and my place of value. That’s the amazing part of trusting the unknown – if you do trust the most amazing experience can grow from it’s seed – of course this trust takes letting go of control making it super tough on “Hi I Can Do It All”.
After dinner we all went back to M.A.’s house where we had a yummy tea party, dancing around her kitchen to Pistol Annie’s (my favorite new band) and giggling like mad. We decided we’d not done a proper ceremony surrounding my book. So in the cool fall air we hiked down to the little creek that runs alongside of M.A.’s property. Suddenly I was paralyzed with fear, POSSUMS!
I have Possum issues, you’ll have to read my book The Queen Of The Doublewides to get the reason – but this fear runs deep. Jane Ellen pulled on my hand and M.A. spoke loudly, her Jersey accent booming in through the cool southern night, “There is no Possums down here, besides Possums don’t hurt people.” I whispered back in a haunted voice, “Don’t say their names or they will come!” Jane Ellen tugged on me some more, “Come on little goose, if you were a farm animal you’d be a goose ‘cause you sure do squawk at everything in the barnyard – ALARMING the others.” Begrudgingly I bent down picked up one of the green monkey balls that had fallen from the tree and headed down to the creeks edge; I’ve never been one to allow my fear to rule my outcome. “OK, I’ll use the Possum fear as a metaphor for my fear to release my truth into the world, not hiding from judgment or allowing self doubt to take the wheel of my big old life.” I looked down the creek, beyond the creek and into the next phase of my life tossing my monkey ball, my childhood flashed before me – I was 9 years old and throwing monkey balls around our yard in Clark Court Apartments. My book is about the first part of my life; it was appropriate I set it sailing into the next with a monkey ball from my past – serious RELEASE. Jane Ellen and M.A. threw theirs too in support of my accomplishment. However, once that ball was floating I got to steppin’ out of possum land and ran for the house – SQUAWKIN’ like mad!
M.A. set up an air mattress and I slept in her healing room (she is a true wizard, a body alignment practitioner, aligning people with themselves and their higher selves) I’ve NEVER met another person with her capabilities. Getting on her table is like traveling through the closest of ones self that we never seem to have the time to organize so we just avoid them the clutter seems until it creeps into our daily life – throwing off our chi, rhythm and groove. I knew I was gonna have big dreaming and shawty – did I ever. In fact I had about 20 dreams but the last one was something. I dreamed that I’d picked up Lola’s entire kindergarten class; we were at a park outside of a church. I needed to use the phone inside to call one of the momma’s of the children. When I went into the church I got lost, I asked the preacher how to get back to the kids, he pointed to a room when I entered it I jumped back and screeched (like a goose) there was a giant rattle snake and he was coming for me. Suddenly a dog appeared – a little Jack Russell. He was trying to scare the snake but was clearly not wanting to kill it but the snake was relentless his attention was hooked on me. The dog would distract him and then the snake would find his way closer to me. Suddenly I knew what it was that he wanted, my red coat that I was wearing. I quickly took it off, shedding it like skin throwing it at him. He quickly crawled on top settling into it as if it where his den he’d been looking for. I looked away from the snake, catching a glimpse of the dog happily wagging his tongue.
When M.A. awoke she made me a great breakfast of MEE food and a fresh carrot beet ginger juice. We talked about the dream and she told me about the meaning of the snake, transformation – welcoming it is welcoming change. The dog is loyalty, as dogs are here to serve man in our quest for self and spiritual growth. As she spoke I remembered the red coat I kept in my closet for at least 10 years. My momma loved red coats, she’d bought me a red coat my freshman year in college – the last gift she ever gave me, she died wearing her most favorite red coat. When I went to the car she’d wrecked in to gather her personal items I found her red coat thrown in the passengers seat, the emergency crew that found her had cut it off. It was covered in blood and glass and I put in a bag and moved it around with me, leaving it in my aunt and uncles closet for at least 10 years.
Throwing the monkey ball had triggered my memory, and I was shedding my own personal red coat – the fear of failure, welcoming success, trusting the unknown and moving into the next. Book one of my life was done, and just that a STORY no longer the present moment, no longer able to haunt me or cause me suffering – only a tale to share.
Sunday I met up with my D.F.F (dear family friend – if you’ve just joined us now she and I grew up together, she’s been healing her body with food from Hodgkin’s B – 8 months later she is 70% better!) She’d driven down from Ohio to resume our once monthly cooking marathons and to help with the Noble Food Makeover. We headed out to our ranch in Hickman County – an hour west of Nashville. Our farm house we’ve been rebuilding from the 1,000 Year Flood, is still NOT done – UGHHH…tough managing contractors from California.
So we booked ourselves into Jane Cantrells’ – she has a farm that rubs up next to our ranch that her family has owned since before the Civil War. She rents out a super cute little guesthouse. D.F.F and I settled in and got cookin’ – let me tell you we get down, and all this cooking is mixed with laughing; the best adult slumber party ever.
Monday we loaded my Landrover and drove into Nashville early, I was doing a cooking segment on the NBC Morning Show – Apple, ginger, Butternut Squash Soup. (click for recipe)
All went well and then I hit the streets as I had a TON of errands to run, folks to see and people to meet with and Tylor (my nephew a freshman at Lipscomb University) birthday to celebrate. By the time we made it back to the farm I was totally exhausted and got in the kitchen – yep we cooked some more.
This plane is fixin’ to land so I’ve got to stop don’t worry there is more to come..To be continued later this week.
Eleanor Coppola & My Double Wide.
October 11, 2011
Point Dume
I spent the last 20 minutes sitting on my couch watching the morning fog roll in off of the pacific, it’s cool dampness creeps through the cracks of my high falutin’ doublewide. My fancy vintage designer swivel chairs almost twist with the thickness and chill. I love living out here on the edge of Point Dume, we are at the back of the club as they call this place. I have unobstructed views of the ocean – if I stand just right.
Native American Indians used Point Dume as a place to send smoke signals to tribes up and down the coast as it sits way out in the ocean – sort of like an attached island. There is something to this for me, you see the combination of thick fog, giant sky and never ending ocean feels like a blank canvas full of electricity to power my imagination as I too become a better communicator. Whats really fantastic is dreaming way out here on the edge, I sleep deeply with the windows open allowing that chilly fog to rest on top of my down comforter – filling my sleep with fantastic & crazy dreams. Just the other night I dreamed that Lola and I were breaking into a friends house and stealing sweaters! Lol…We weren’t doing it out of malice but instead with giggly mischievousness. Simultaneously there was a second dream occurring, like a split screen in a theater – I kept seeing this woman working like a mad scientist trying to find the formula for my work. My dream guide was there (you know the one you can’t see only hear) he kept telling me not to worry “she” was working behind the scenes and would connect the dots. I’d then jump to the other half of the screen and return to my crazy escapades with Lola. Then back to the mad scientist, each time reassured that destiny was at work.
I woke up thinking about this dream and there was a peace as I rested quietly in the early hours. Suddenly my mind grabbed a name Eleanor Coppola – Francis Coppola’s wife. I crept out of my bed, made some coffee and hit google search – What I learned about her is that she not only kept a home during their life together, but she also connected the dots, making a documentary based on home movies shot while her husband filmed Apocalypse Now. She also wrote a memoir: Notes On A Life. I’d never thought about Eleanor until moving here, you see our phone number is one of her old numbers as whenever I call someone her name pops up on the caller id. About an hour later the phone rang and Bubba & Nanny (Ted & Peggy) called to tell me about their night out and the highlight was that they sat next Eleanor Coppola & Francis at a restaurant up in wine country!!!!!!
I quickly told them my dream and how I’d just spent the morning reading about Eleanor – I knew what was happening, she is a mirror for me and I never have to meet her to feel her influence.
When I was young I thought someone outside of MEE would connect my dots, tie it all together, find the formula and make things happen, agents, managers, writing partners thinking it would take someone else to make what I do good enough – someone else held the key to my value. I relied on assistants, friendships and family, even as I approached marriage I saw my husbands position and life as the one giving us importance. I LOVE getting older ’cause with my age has come my growth and confidence now I see life differently. Instead of seeing the mad scientist as someone else I see her as MEE – I married a man who’s world is was big and TOGETHER we created a huge life, and like Eleanor & Francis we too have moved around the globe like gypsies and I’ve been taking notes, making funny home videos and now put it all down on paper in the Queen Of The DoubleWides. With each thought and reflection via Eleanor Coppola I saw with clarity that I am indeed the mad scientist in the dream constantly looking for the formula for a happy life, cooking up a recipe to feel better and carving a path for not only my own personal success but the success of my family….
Speaking of family Senora Gina and Don Lalo flew into town from Sayulita, Mexico to spend the weekend with us before flying to Paris and Italy for a few weeks. The girls had not seen their Mexican Grandparents in more than two years. The magic of our connection is that all of us picked up where we’d left off – that’s the thing about holding a line, all one has to do is KNOW that a thread of love runs through the heart creating a formula stronger than blood.
Reiki, Acupuncture & Completion.
October 1, 2011
We’ve been here a month and it feels like a year. That’s what happens sometimes a month can pack the punch of 12. I’ve spent most of this month organizing our life and diggin’ in deep to get here. For the first two weeks I felt as if I was driving the MTP around holding on to the wheel while my body flew along behind me. After a few weeks of this I hit the exhaustion wall, my arms, legs and emotions began to shake and of course then my tummy too took on an ache. Mary Alice has told me a 1,000 times, “Meme illness begins in ones energy field”. I got it this week, once our energy gets worn out, we take in less oxygen and our immune system suffers. Where ever our weak link is physically, begins to shout out, mine is the gut. I not only got in my kitchen, rested as much as possible but also found an acupuncturist.
My first session with Dr. Asha, a beautiful woman of Indian decent, was super good, her needles went in and I went down – off into dream land. After about an hour on the table which felt like 10 minutes, a sweet British woman, quietly entered my room. She told me she was a Reiki practitioner and would like to give me a 15 minute complimentary session. I was so comfy I thought why not, I’d had Reiki done before – but in truth only one person had ever had an effect on me and that was Mary Alice, everyone else was a “sorta” experience – but no fire works kind of deal. For y’all that don’t know what Reiki is it’s a hands on Japanese spiritual healing practice that moves energy through the body. This little lady placed her hands at the top of my head and immediately I felt HEAT, lots of it!!!!!!! As she worked her way around me more heat and tons of images passed over my body, I went from the top of green covered hills to what looked like high desert and Navajo structures; at one point the dreams/visions were moving so quickly I felt as if I was getting motion sickness, I almost lifted my head but instead I passed into another set of imagery and like a good dream I didn’t want it to stop. Then she picked up my right hand, I felt the presence of a woman she told me to open myself horizontally that I was supported, then like a cinema camera moving it’s way up from the floor I saw a mans wing tip shoes, pants and suit coat, his tie and then his face it was my great grandfather Nicoletti (my momma’s grandfather) – he died when I was 6 or 7 years old and I’d not thought of him in years, what was interesting was this image was in sepia tone. I understood, my entire lineage has come with me to Malibu to stand behind me as I push my way forward following my dreams and of course my ultimate goal – to reach my greatest self. The lady rang a little bell and I began to open my eyes, once I was completely awake she spoke, “That was a very interesting session, I’m wondering what is your relationship with your mother? Is she passed on? Because when I held your right hand I was overwhelmed with a maternal presence.” Still rubbing the other realm from my eyes I whispered that my mother died many years ago.
I made my way home to Point Dume, sipped on some soup, closed my eyes slipping into super deep sleep. I’ve not taken a nap in months, partly because while my girls are at school my window of time to get house work and PKIA slips through my fingers, also I think having spent so many days in pain not able leave my bed keeps me from spending anytime there other than night rest.
The next day I was totally here, I opened my arms and dang if all of my friends from our previous incarnation here in Malibu didn’t appear – I was ready to receive, be supported and participate. I’d sent my manuscript out a week before and this week the responses have been rolling in and they couldn’t be better – at one point on the phone I fought back tears, not because of the kind words I was receiving but because I finally allowed myself to feel proud of my accomplishment.
More importantly than the book I’ve written (actually books – I’m finishing my second and have outlined the 3rd!) I’m blown away by the Noble Food Makeover – this month I will launch one here in Malibu catering to momma’s of preschool and elementary aged children and I will return to Nashville to host two NFM’s. Amazing, a food program connecting two very different demographics but with the common thread – personal ownership in our kitchens.
So you see my adventure continues and I roll on into the unknown of living a big life….
