When we left the Mexican Jungle Bella and Lola were crying in the airport, wanting to stay. I bucked up and looked forward, knowing that even though the road ahead of me is here in Nashville I will for sure always return to Mexico.
Yesterday I awoke with the concept of third world and first world in my head. As a child, I was told by the media and other folks that life in the Third World was rough, scary and tragic –a place people wanted to escape.
I thought life in the First World was fortunate because we have so much STUFF at our fingertips. Now I understand that life in the Third World is all about LIFE, LIVING, FAMILY and FRIENDSHIP… Surprisingly I am now slammed with the reality of first world living and what life here is all about: STUFF.
Maybe I’m truly becoming a third world gal?

Now that we are back in the first world, I’ve begun to understand this world from an entirely new perspective.
I’ve been working with Virginia Harper (Who is this?) one-on-one to open my mind and understand The Yin and Yang of my food. At first, my mind both wouldn’t and couldn’t comprehend this mindset. Now I recognize that each food I place in my body has a balancing effect. A few weeks ago I began to acknowledge what I was feeding my mind, but I still wasn’t putting the entire concept together.
That is, until this week….
I ran into the market to grab a few things and bumped into a guy I know that is on a diet for his own health reasons and has been on the diet for a few years.
He is a really great guy and always up-beat. That day, he served as a great big mirror of my life: his hands were wrapped tightly around his grocery buggy and his eyes intensely bugged out, “How are you? How was your trip? Did you get sick?”
Tossing me from my calm and balanced place, I immediately started chatting about my not-so pleasant experience with the tummy. As I spoke his eyes bugged out further and his knuckles turned white…then he jumped in!
“You know I don’t travel AT ALL, but when I do I pack a crock pot, electric kettle, hot plate, electric steamer, all my own food and cook in my hotel room. Every time I eat out I KNOW I’m gonna get sick and guess what? I DO!
It is so tragic!!!”
I then asked him, “How long have you been on this diet?”
5 years, he says.
Hmmmm… 5 years and you are still so ill and unable to find something healthy to eat out there in the world with out lugging the kitchen?
Yep… It’s part of the deal, he says.
As I walked away from him I saw who I could be in his reflection: I could hold on so tightly to this illness, checking my stomach every five minutes searching for pain, tensing up after I eat in fear of something being wrong, and holding onto my market buggy for dear life!
Nope, not I.

The next day I sat with Ginny expressing my concerns and my run-in with “Hi I Hold On To Things” in the market. Her first question was, “Do you see now how DISEASE and ILLNESS can claim the body and becomes the host’s identity?”
Hmmm….
Next, we discussed the partial obstruction to my ability to comprehend this new perspective: what do I put into my out-of-balanced body?
Well, you see, I love Mexican coffee made with carnation evaporated milk. In fact, when I lived there full time I drank it twice a day!!! Morning and evening!
This milk is super jacked up and loaded with sugar- bam I hit the floor after 3 mornings of it!
“Why?” I asked.
Her response, “Because you are allergic to milk and now it’s totally out of your body. It’s like someone with a peanut allergy – their windpipe becomes inflamed and NO air can make it through. Your intestines finally couldn’t take it and became so inflamed that nothing could pass.”
Hmmm..
Then I asked, “Will I always have to be so rigid and will I ever be able to eat out?”
“You will find balance and know what you can eat and can’t eat. Then you’ll have your little kit of tricks: umeboshi plums for aiding in acid and gas, kuzu tea for strengthening and digestive enzymes.”
I heard my angel, “Ahhhhh, Ahhhhh, Girl you can do this, now you just gotta relax and make it happen.”

Hmmm… Last night I talked with Nanny and Bubba (they flew in for the week). I shared with them what I just wrote and our conversation quickly turned to how people hold on to suffering and why… Bubba said something great: “the one with the illness has all the power.” Meaning that they control the day, the night and the attention in the house.
Hmmm… Does the same go for Eating Disorders? Addiction? Depression? All Chronic Illnesses?
I gotta investigate and call on some of my Go To Know It All’s…this is getting interesting.

OK so I am now in a bit of an invisible duel with someone I have never seen!
As you all know, my office is located in a giant old convent.
The Convent is expected to be FREEZING cold all winter long and even on some warm spring days. For the past few days the temperature has dropped into the 40’s and 50’s at night, only climbing into the 60’s during the day. Today, it’s still cloudy but slightly warmer, maybe 70 degrees.

Well the thermostat for the building is right outside of my door and someone keeps putting the AC on!!!! The damp convent gets even colder!!!
This person comes out and turns the AC on. I wait until their steps are gone and I turn it off! he, heeeee…
But I have finally tired of this nonsense, so I posted a note:

“Seriously, it is 70 degrees out and the earth is melting! We have been freezing all winter and now we are missing this season. What happened to fresh air and opening your window? How about making some personal changes? Wear less clothes? If a bit over weight, drop some lbs?”

This is one of my biggest “peeves” we freeze all winter and everyone complains but the SECOND the temperature rises above 69 degrees, we turn the AC on!!!!
When we moved into our house, the windows had not been opened for 10 YEARS!!!! Can you imagine how unhealthy it is to not have breathed fresh air for 10 YEARS!!!!
The weekend before last it was really lovely outside so I opened all of our windows and the kids and I lived outside. I was surprised at how few homes had windows open and even fewer people were outside!!!
Maybe it’s not just the food are eat that’s makes us ill, but the lack of a relationship with the outdoors, starting with fresh air!!!

Lee has placed me on “Lock Down.”
After the past week and all the running around I’ve done, I failed to take care of myself.
I ate out in restaurants at least three times. This is not a big deal for most folks but for me it’s bad news. Then I got so busy that I stopped eating 5 times a day like I need too and ate things that I KNOW hurt me, like PIZZA! (I was at a kid’s birthday party and totally jonesin’)
Regardless of the food choices I tried to make, most restaurants cook with less then healthy oils. It is hard to find Kale and other organic veggies and everyone seems to use some kind of processed spice or flavoring.
When we are using food as our medicine, there isn’t much room for slipping up.
When I eat at home I sit and take my time, chewing is my “pill” of choice right now. I’m supposed to chew each bite between 50 and 100 times! When I’m with people, I find myself chatting and rushing.
I do so much chewing because it increases the natural enzymes in my body and breaks the food down before it gets to my intestines. This helps me absorb nutrients and aid the overhaul process. If we all chewed like this, our bodies would be much better.
Try it next time you take a bite of anything – 50 chews.

I heard my body talk to me last week, “Mee slow down, you still are healing..” Of course, I didn’t listen with the fun and thrill of all my projects lining up, I just wanted to move ahead!
In fact, last week was one of the most productive and creative weeks I’ve had in a super long time!
We shot my style page, edited 3 episodes of our Healthy Lifestyle show and shot 2 more episodes, plus a few hours of writing, tending to two tiny kids. Throw in some macrobiotic cooking and a crash was lurking around the corner!

Part of my process is listening to my body and, even though I heard loud and clear “You’re taking on too much,” I didn’t listen until a POUNDING headache came knocking followed by SEVERE tummy pain….
Now I’m on lock down and my goal is to STOP losing weight – I’ve dropped another 7 lbs!
Yesterday, I stayed home and cooked and ate…Today, I’m here cooking and eating… So far I’ve had a Spelt bagel with almond butter, a bowl of brown rice, black beans and kale and just now I’ve just finished a spelt tortilla wrapped around Halibut, with brown rice and avocado served with a side of broccoli.

In an hour I will have some miso soup and then dinner followed by an evening snack!!
People, we don’t need diet pills, just EAT tons of healthy food!

Yesterday, I tried to cut my conversations to a minimum and focus all of my juice on my body. I walked into “Happy Son Of My People” thin and weepy. The night before, “Hi I’m Nervous Underneath” kept me up all night, tossing and turning with worry of things I can’t control… like swine flu, the economy, and are smart cars really smart? I wonder where that woman got those red shoes? Was I rude to the grocery bagger? I hope she didn’t think so. I was just rushing. Then the list of phone calls I didn’t return yet or emails I have not sent started to run.
This went on for two hours!
“Hi I’m Nervous Underneath” surely lives within all of us and when she’s not reigned in, she runs into people she knows and talks way too much about nothing, trying to cover up all the nervous energy!

Seeing Happy Son Of My People always puts things in perspective. “Nervous Underneath” isn’t about all exterior conversations and fears but about my deep internal ones: Am I OK? Am I doing my best in my life? Do I trust me? Do I trust that life has placed me just where I need to be? Is my faith really secure?

He loaded me up with needles and there I laid, spinning and spinning… slowly calming down. Finally, I was so calm that I heard MEE: “go home take care of us, don’t believe that doing “nothing” is nothing. Stop and get a new prospective….”

When I got home Lee had just returned from Virginia and was shocked to see me so weak. I know it’s tough on him, I know he wants to help me and support my choices and food process. He see’s that I do better when I take care of myself and I love that he reminds me to do that.
Marriage is an interesting journey, not at all what we think it will be, it is better. Lee and I are two separate people with very different ways of moving through the world and because we don’t try to influence each other, our individuality brings inspiration to our relationship.
Life is a journey that won’t be rushed and our relationships are part of this journey….