“If I Die Young”
-The Band Perry

It’s only Tuesday and already the week feels as if it is moving at a rapid speed and once again I am reminded of the duality that is part of living.

I dreamed Sunday night that I was in some city somewhere that was flooding, I watched the water gush around me, I didn’t panic but relaxed into the dream wanting to know what happened next. This is a great thing, ‘cause I truly believe that how we navigate our sleeping dreams is the same rhythm that we move through the waking dream that we have created – also known as our life.

Personally I see the water as emotion, big waves coming and going. Instead of reacting with fear I just allow it flow – ‘cause we all know that you can’t stop the waves only learn how to surf them.

This morning was proof as we started the day watching Isabella perform in her schools talent show, she sang The Band Perry’s If I Die Young. She wore a long white dress with a tulle skirt underneath and cowboy boots and stood in the center of the stage with unbelievable confidence and beauty. I felt a huge wave of honor wash over me, my daughter has become someone who can hold her own, and she is brave and capable. In fact all of the children were truly mirrors of the school that they are attending – they are a reflection of how they are held within the school environment – with support and love.
Lee and I then climbed in his truck and headed out to the ranch, he needed to check on something’s while I hung in the cattle company office writing. The rain was pouring down as this giant storm that is moving across the US found its way to Nashville.

At Christmas time I wrote a blog “A Ranch Life”, in this blog I shared meeting with Mr.& Mrs. James Lewis. They’d worked on Lee’s family ranches out in Colorado as well as here on our ranch in Nashville. The two of them had spent the evening opening a window back into time, allowing me the opportunity to see their world as well as the world that my husband comes from.
Last year Mrs. Lewis was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and yesterday morning she died. I had wanted to cook for her, to try to build her up and maybe help Mr. Lewis feel as if he was doing something physically to help her. However with the holidays and the school starting back I hadn’t made it out there and shortly after meeting her she began the process of leaving her body, not eating much more than 3 bites in the past month.
Mr. Lewis said that The Ranch Christmas party was their last date night.
When Lee told me she had passed I immediately wanted to say goodbye.

Many folks had shown up to pay their last respects and Mr. Lewis was unbelievably sweet, with everyone that approached him. Seeing Lee he opened up and began sharing stories of A Ranch Life, the two of them passed times gone by back and forth.
I felt strangely drawn to Mrs. Lewis resting in the casket, and wanted to be closer to her, I knew there was more for her to share.
The casket was covered in beautiful handmade quilts that she had made; also there were her oil paintings each of a place she’d been.

In parts of South America they believe that if you stand in the shadow of someone within 48 hours of their death you will see clearly whom they were, as they too are reflecting from the other side the life that they have led and the person that they were.

I stopped before a stain glass window that she had made and was also on display, I felt as if I had walked into a doorway of her life, images passed through my mind as Mr. Lewis narrated in the background. I saw her in the arms of her momma born Frances Elizabeth in the panhandle of Texas, I watched as her father discovered Tennessee just after world war 2 and decided to settle, I witnessed her youthful beauty at 16 when she met her husband to be. I watched her raise children and move cows on horseback, I saw her stand as a woman strong and elegant; she climbed mountains in front of me and set grand beautiful tables presentable for a king. And mainly I watched her walk with her husband; they were partners and a team. Mr. Lewis said he’d not ever left her side not until she passed and he heard god tell him to sit down he’d take it from here.
Someone approached the casket and placed in her hands a yellow rose, sent from her 97 year old momma in Texas and Bella’s voice rang through my heart:

“Lord make me a rainbow, I’ll shine down on my mother
She’ll know I’m safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and
Life ain’t always what you think it ought to be, no
ain’t even grey, but she buries her baby”.

I then heard Mrs. Lewis whisper into my ear, you go forward girl and be brave – live a big life, just like me. Suddenly I felt as if my shoulder blades opened up and wings pushed through my skin – I stood in her shadow and walked away with the ability to give my dreams flight.
Again I am reminded that we do not know the extent of ones influence, until it is upon us.