Just before going to Flow-ida Bella decided she wanted to cut her hair into a pixie.  I love the Mia Farrow look, however I know first hand that once the novelty and newness of short hair wears off one misses their ponytail.  I had a moment in the salon, as I was wanting to convince her to just go for a bob, I saw how this was about her image of herself, a positive one, one that wasn’t about what other people thought when they looked at her but what she thinks of herself when she see’s her own refection.  My heart filled up as I saw that my guidance and love has aided in the creation of this elegant and gamine creature.

Bella was determined and chop away went her mane and off to locks of love it traveled.

What emerged from underneath all that hair was Bella – really and truly she has come out – funnier, more confident as she knows how brave she is.  She is turning 8 next week, cutting her hair is  an example of the separation from mother and child that occurs in the seventh year as I wrote about last August. (http://princessknowitall.com/2009/08/pkia-in-spanish/),

I’m loving her new school; walking her inside every morning to be greeted by her homeroom teacher is a giant treat!  I have to control myself from not turning into my Chihuahua self every time someone takes the time to actually say hello!

I’m convinced that her past “wanna be groovy Montessori” school doesn’t have a clue when it comes to educating kids – yes they give them social and emotional support in the class room – however little people want to know that their families are connected to their educational process.  Life is going to take them in their own direction soon enough, I’m not down with rushing it.  To prove a point the “Wanna Be Groovy Montessori” totally fell short in math – I pushed ‘em as much as I could to work with her and their response was she is fine, since their thoughts on the classroom being separate from home I was unable to support her as to the fact that we didn’t have a CLUE what she was learning.  I’d met a bunch a families while at the “Wanna Be Groovy School” that had removed their children and all of them had told me to be aware that math and science was where their children lacked once they began traditional programs.

Her first week in traditional Catholic real school, showed how little she did learn – math wise that is.  However in the reading department she is a full grade level ahead – DANG – I’m glad I changed schools!

No sweat, ‘cause every morning her teacher gives me guidance in what to do on my part  – I’ve decided I’m OLD SCHOOL – shawty, and grooviness aint’ groovy when it’s really about the image of the adminstrators and the personal desire of the parents and what they think is “cool” or “progressive”. It would be wonderful if there were a school that was actually in balance – traditional yet expansive, green, supportive and actually academic…Well I’m hoping that between Lee and I, our family of friends and loved ones – we can give Bella the emotional support, the expansive life perspective and school can teach her academics.

With all of this said, her new school is on it, and already in just a few short weeks Bella has caught up and is moving forward, in fact yesterday she came to my office after school to do her homework  whipped through her math page getting every item correct!   This is a huge perk, I’m able to leave work walk around the corner and pick her up!!!!   Talk about shifting from NOT having a window into her academic world to now being able to stand at my window in the Convent and see her on the playground!  Life has really shifted here in Nashville, proving again the lack of chaos.

I’d written how I was worried about Lola’s bday and whom we’d spend the day with since her list of invites included only west coast folks.  Jane Ellen to the rescue, her little girl Bailey shares Lola’s bday and Bella and Spencer her son not only have the same bday but were also born in the same hospital at the same time on the same exact day! We hooked up our newly renovated (since the floods) cookhouse out on the ranch and threw them girls a real down home fiesta!

Maryalice, Jane Ellen’s crew, Baileys friends and Crystal and her girls (more of our ranch friends) came along and all of us spent the day playing in the river, pulling out Lee’s stand up paddle board and blow up rafts.  I was  of course on snake alert – Jane Ellen said that if I were an animal I’d be a GOOSE – yelling out every time I saw something sketchy!

We spent the evening on the screened porch watching the sky shift colors; I miss having such a big sky on a daily basis.  Rusty our Cattle company foreman filled my ears with truthful funny tales and MA and I rode home marveling at a Ranch Life’s Simple World…

Thanks Jane Ellen, MA, Rusty, & Crystal for showing up for us, reminding me of the simple truths.

The other day I felt full, tired, excited and overwhelmed, swollen and ready to pop – just like I did 8 years ago today.  I was 9 months pregnant and dang was I ready to get that baby out.  I was so frightened of what was to come, and yet thrilled to meet my creation, I remember climbing in the back of our Yukon, 4am and an hours drive into town from the Ranch.  Listening to Buena Vista Social club and wanting to turn back around, however knowing the only way through it was forward.

Ironically, I’m feeling the same way with Princess Know It All.  I’m editing one of my books and pushing through, feeling this crazy need to get it out, bring it into the world and move to the next level of experience all along trusting the NOT KNOWING that awaits me.  I’m asking the same questions what will it look like, will it have all it’s fingers and toes, hoping it doesn’t have an extra chromosome, ’cause dang there is no amniocentesis and the one question no momma wants to admit that she asks herself – Will I like it and of course what will people think of it. 

I stepped away from my office the other day and returned 24 hours later, forward moving, deep breathing and pulling on that thread in my palm.

Isabella is 8 today and Lola is 4, they are now old enough that I can really take care of a new baby, so here I go giving birth to an aspect of my imagination.   Hopefully this time without all the chaos that comes with first time motherhood.