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Going to church in Nashville

May 3, 2011

The weather here in the south has been wild for weeks, sweet home Alabama and the horrible tornado that struck there was devastating to all of us, as we were once again reminded that life changes in an instant.  We felt this storm as it passed over us and had the temperature not dropped it could have hit here.  That very day as it was spankin’ Alabama Rusty our foreman at the cattle company was moving cows to higher ground  and the treatment center was moving folks from the mens house as the water was rising on the Piney River.  We were all tense as it is a year ago this week that Nashville suffered the great flood and we like many others lost much property including our home and seven other buildings, 400 goats, barns, fencing, cows and countless amounts of ranching equipment.  We’ve learned a  lot and mainly to trust the process and to have faith the the right path will be revealed.  I personally changed as a result of so much loss.  Nashville inspired me as folks pulled themselves up by the boot straps and rebuilt.  I fell in love and like a women in love I found my way to the heart of this city via it’s stomach.  Maybe that is the purpose of natural disasters, to make us stop appreciate the small things and connect as a community.  Just maybe tragedy is life’s way of showing us that we have lost relationship with one another and the simple aspects of life.

Mercury went direct last week and wow did life fly forward (as mercury retrograde is all about recycling through our past). I’ve had my seat belt on ’cause fo’sho my M.T.P. has turned into a time machine.  I’m not certain if it’s just me, but each day seems to zoom away.  I’m very happy to say that I’ve been enjoying myself and partaking in all that Nashville has to offer, from the Lady Gaga concert – yep, I went and yep I loved it – well what I loved is how thought provoking the experience was.  In the 1970′s Bette Midler rolled on the scene encouraging folks to embrace their outrageous selves, my momma loved her, therefore Bette Midler was a part of my childhood.  Madonna busted out in the 80′s & ’90′s pushing the sexual envelope, placing societal taboo’s on the table.  Now we have Lady Gaga, honestly I’d listened to her music and popped around in my seat cruising down the road to her tunes but I really had no idea what she was about other than funky outfits and giving us something to look at other than the perfectly clad mannequins that typically grace the red carpet ceremonies.  What I loved about her concert besides the fact that this little sista’ can sing; is that she has a very clear and direct message – be you, you were born this way, you are perfect as you are, god and Jesus love us all. There is room in heaven for you, regardless of what society says.  This is a big deal here in this deeply Southern city where “Jesus lovers” attempted to block access to the concert by shouting such “Christian” things like,  “You women are sluts, and Jesus HATES gays.  There is no room for you Heathens in Heaven.”  Gaga’s concert was a beautiful reaction to this unattractive behavior.  I was told as a child that Jesus loved and walked with those that society rejected, I always believed that he loved all humans and that hate was not apart of his language.  Anyways, I was intrigued by how many of us need to hear these words that we are good enough.  Even me, Ms.Know It All, have moments of, “Really, am I OK? Am I good enough?

The icing on the cake was The Band Perry sitting down alongside of us, as I was in a private sweet the guest of a dear friend who happens to work for Sony Music.  If y’all remember Isabella sang The Band Perry’s hit If I Die Young at Corinthian Baptist Church and her talent show.  They were so kind to send me home with a note for Isabella and offering up plenty of conversation, as they had seen the video from Corinthian Baptist Church of Isabella singing and loved it.

Earth day was another good time here in Nashville, this city is so do-able, meaning that connecting and participating is super easy.  We joined a handful of families from Bella’s school and spread our blankets out to listen to all the good music that Nashville over flows with, plus I made my way through the agricultural booths and food advocates.  My favorite was meeting The Barefoot Farmer, Jeff Poppen, a biodynamic farming guru!

The Barefoot Farmer & Mee

Easter was another grand day as Mary Alice arrived early in the morning and the girls had an egg hunt with our neighbors and another family from Bella’s school.  I went to mass but it was so crowded with the over flow of “Holiday Catholics” like myself that I spent most of mass sitting outside on face book.

The following week Abi and I headed downtown to meet with folks at the health department.  We applied for a mini-grant a few months back and it looks like we are in the running.  What I appreciated the most was that the women we met with really see the value of the Noble Food Makeover; it is a sustainable approach – gardens, farmers market, cooking – community – all under one roof.  I also have come to a total understanding – I’m not an activist, I’m not a “food advocate” I’m just a lady sharing what I know and it’s not all about food, it’s about choices.  The food is the gravy, ‘cause only once we’ve taken back our power, seen ourselves, truly understand that we are creating our own outcomes can we organize ourselves with healthy food choices.  I don’t want to create programs that are dependent on grants, that goes against my entire personal deal – I want to create programs that are dependent on the individuals and the community that they belong too.  The Noble Food Makeover is not a charity event, and what I do when I cook at Corinthian is all about my personal honor and the ability to participate and share.  Yes there are items needed to be donated but it’s once again more about sharing.

Abi and I left the health department completely moved by our meeting, Abi has been working diligently on the grant and now I’m finishing it up.  If we get some money it will be to build the gardens, buy the food and offer a stipend to members of the congregation and the city of Nashville that want to really learn to cook and recreate Noble Food Makeovers all over the city.

Just left the Health Department-feeling good!

Friday was a big one in this here house, Isabella made her 1st Communion in the Catholic Church – she was so beautiful and proud.  Our house was a buzz and so was the M.T.P as we all piled in – my neighbor, her three little girls, Lola, Ana (Lee’s daughter), Abi, Mary Alice and myself – fo’sho we looked like a crew of sister wives with Lee holding the baby.  One of the moms later asked, “Wow all of your sisters showed up?” I giggled,” No, we aren’t related.” Maybe ‘cause we all refer to lee as big daddy this adds fuel to the fire? I am so irreverent.   I’d received a letter from the school apologizing for the way in which they handled the “punching” situation a few weeks back.  I quickly found the principal and told him how much I appreciated the letter, that’s the thing about Nashville and the south – there is still a sense of etiquette and grace that is applied to every day living.  What I wanted to explain to the Principal is that I’m am sorry if I seemed upset by the situation but that I love deeply, I care deeply, I feel deeply and I provide as a mother from a very deep place.

That night I finally went to the Bluebird Café to listen to songwriters in the round. The Bluebird Café is a local legend; songwriters fill the stage and share the tales that led to the songs.  Everyone sits quietly listening; again I reveled at all of the talent that this southern city holds within its arms.

My D.F.F. (Dear family friend) rolled down from Ohio, she had a follow up visit with Dr. Sheng and she wanted to help me out with an up and coming Noble Food Makeover  event. She brought with her a friend Cantrell who was way game when it came to supporting the Noble Food Makeover.  The good news before I go any further is that my D.F.F is feeling way better and she has totally taken her power back in the kitchen – yep she is doin’ it y’all preparing meals that heal fo’herself and her entire family has rallied and are doing the same.

Saturday was The Celebration of Health for the Nashville Public Schools, this event was held at Carter Lawrence School on 12th Ave and Edge hill. Mary Alice, Lee, my girls, D.F.F. and Cantrell all loaded up in the M.T.P once again for a day of participation.  We served up healthy blueberry smoothies packed with sea veggies, kale and Bee Pollen (local helps with outdoor allergies).  The Vita Mix was rockin’ and of course we spent the day laughing. (click here to watch video from the days events)

Celebration Of Health - Nashville Public Schools

Celebration Of Health - Nashville Public Schools

The grand finale was an evening out, The Ryman Auditorium - the original home of the grand old opry.  I grew up hearing about the Ryman my grandparents were big country music fans, Loretta Lynn is one of my all time favorites and Patsy Cline reminds me of my momma – as she loved to play her records.  I knew this joint was gonna be cool but what I didn’t know is that it was all about going to church.  Lee and I entered the main room and I caught my breath – TIME washed over me, I could feel all that had been felt over the years – both from the stage and from the audiences; the energy of dreams coming true.  We walked to our pew – ‘cause the Ryman is called the mother church and set up originally so.  Tom Jones stepped on stage and my foot got to tapping.  I didn’t know just how many of his songs I knew but let me tell you this dude is 70 years old and still getting down.  His band was fantastic – I could have done with out the flinging of underwear as I’m such a germ freak but I appreciated 70 year old women throwing ‘em up there – again I heard Lady Gaga’s voice as she said “let’s go to church Nashville.”  Upon my arrival 2.5 years ago I had no idea that I would have such a soulful experience on so many different levels.  Who knew my spirit was gonna go to church and revel in it.

 

 


 

 

Picking Myself Up….

December 1, 2010



Thanksgiving was nice and calm, I cooked all the “Mee Food” that fit with the season, Mary Alice & Cheryl came for dinner and our house was a calm and easy place.  Friday for lunch was all about leftovers as it is in most households following a big holiday.  Once again I filled my plate to the brim and feasted along side of my family.  Around 1pm my tummy began to ache, I thought hmmmm maybe I just ate too much.  At 4pm I knew something was wrong, still it’s been 18 months since my intestinal walls have completely collapsed causing a bowel obstruction so for sure I thought this not possible.  The burning pain from the large ulceration has been gone for at least 9 months; I have suffered tummy aches but nothing that completely takes me out.  I did what it is that I know how to do, ginger/chamomile compresses, soaked my feet in hot water to pull the blood down and circulate it, I eased on the intake of food and solids; finally falling to sleep around 9:30pm.

11:30 pm I opened my eyes and twisted with severe pain, a pain that I will never forget for as long as I live – my insides were twisted and fighting for blood – I was obstructing.  I searched the room for Lee; he’d gone to help Bella through a bad dream and must have fallen asleep there.  I didn’t want to yell through the house and awaken the girls so I made it to the bathroom to wash my face – however my legs gave way and I collapsed on the cold floor where I must have been for hours, rocking myself through the pain and battling the questions “Is this the time when my intestines will snap and I will no longer live in this body?”  “Should I go to the hospital now?”  The pain of these contractions is so severe that when I went to the hospital for my scheduled C-section with Isabella the nurses were in a panic, I’d been in labor for 24 hours with contractions 1 minute apart and didn’t KNOW it because I’ve suffered such intense bowel obstructions that my bodies tolerance for pain is HUGE.

Finally I made it up off of the cold marble floor and crawled to Lee, begging him to help me.  For 3 more hours he wiped my head as my body twisted and I fought to vomit, finally I was able to throw up a HUGE amount, see that’s what happens all that is in the bowel that can’t pass has to come out one way or the other and if it can’t then you die.

I slept for a few hours, and awoke still in pain and weak…. For the past 3 days I’ve had acupuncture twice, two intestinal massages and been to see Ginny Harper (my food coach who has returned from Spain.) It seems that I ate way too much for my weakened intestines to pass and so they collapsed and I am reminded that healing my body is an on going process.  The worst part of the next couple days was looking into my little girls’ eyes and seeing myself at their age – watching my mother struggle.  I was sure to tell them that I was fine and that I just needed to rest, kissing them and touching them as often as possible. Reminding myself that our life is not the childhood that was mine – seeing my resilience.

Dr. Sheng tells me that the heart & small intestines are a couple, when the heart is sad the intestines break and that the intestines are a place of karma for the heart as they attempt to protect the heart.

When I went to see Gil “Happy Son Of My People”, I climbed on his table not wanting to process and passed out the minute the needles hit their spots, in my dream a window opened and I saw all this sunlight pour through, at first I was frightened.  Once I looked in it was as if I was watching a movie, my life’s movie this time centered on my girls and Lee.  In the movie Lola was sitting on the porch as she is now 4 years old, I was braiding her long golden hair – with each weave of the braid she aged and moved further away from me– yet I continued to hold on to her via the strands of her hair; just as my mother still does with me.  Bella and Lola danced through time, I would have flashes of Lee too, sitting on the front porch of our old farm house – each glimpse of him time would show it’s face upon his until he was a very old man.

My mind raced trying to keep track of ages, places and wrinkles.  Gil walked into the room, my eyes opened with tears he asked “Kapara do you have pain?” “No, I do not – I have seen time and I am a part of it.”

Just maybe my intestines break so that my heart will open and I will feel what I am too busy to move through.  I’m not afraid that I am sick again; instead I understand the process of being here and healing.  My resilience reminds me not to turn on myself and to fall in to the deep hole of doubt in times of struggle.  The intestinal walls have 1,000’s of layers of tissue and each layer that heals has a process.  I’m not rushing to the end instead I’m moving through the journey.

Yesterday I answered the phone, a call from Bella’s school.  I assumed she was hurt or ill; instead it was the schools administrative assistant, she said “I’m sorry to bother you but Isabella just sang for the principal and myself and she brought tears to my eyes, she is a lovely child.” I fought back my own tears, and wanted to reach through the phone and hug this woman, telling her how deeply I appreciated her phone call and that I am grateful that my child is honored and honorable, that I am raising noble beings in a school that believes in nobility.  Again my resilience was fortified.

Today I feel like my healthy strong self and I’m back in the game, but with a new perspective; a bigger aerial point of view that only comes from picking ones self up from the bathroom floor.

Mee & My People…

November 2, 2010

What a week!

I’m thinking a lot about family and what this word means, ’cause you see my non-blood family has been filling up my house for the past two weeks. Our kitchen reinvented itself as a disco/sing off center!

We’ve been cooking and singing and dancing for days – all of us – lee, kids & guests.  I’m thrilled by it all, you see as a child my amazing “blood” family filled the kitchen with music and dancing, my Uncle Mike & Aunt Mel brought the beats home playing the guitar, harmonica & mandolin – Friday night Bella led our living room in a concert and we all sang along – I smiled ’cause I brought the sound of my childhood into the ears of my children; passing it down y’all.

I truly believe that food and its ability to heal depends on the amount of love put into to each cut, toss and stir.  This week I’ve been feeling great, maybe because I’ve been laughing and loving so dang much.

Ted & Peggy arrived from the Bay Area and Fonso flew in from NYC; Fonso is my BFF for the past 20 years – we met at the University of Maryland and the moment I sat next to him I KNEW I’d found one of my “Persons”.  I’m really quite lucky ‘cause now I KNOW how to distinguish “my people”.   If we ain’t “peeps” then I keep it sweet and move on.

It’s really quite easy to recognize my people now, we giggle about the same things, we bounce back, hold a line for one another no matter how often we speak and like I said last week “we see each others greatness.”  A sure sign you ain’t my kin is if your sniffing fo’my sin.. ’Cause shor-tay them sins are there and trust you me I knows about them.

Ted & Peggy have been lovin’ on me and recognizing my greatness since my early 20’s when I was floating around LA young and lost, they grabbed a hold of me and held a space in their home where I came for Sunday dinner and shared my life.  You see they never had kids and now they know why – I was coming and dang it was gonna take all four of their arms to hold me tight.  They were both working as life coaches and in truth they have been the best possible guides that I could have ever followed.  Ted a fantastic graphic designer and owner of Raess Design, is the artist for this site – bringing PKIA to her cartoon form!

Fonso, is just a giggle fest, he is my brother from another mother, we are like two little kids – seriously funny stuff goes down when these folks all come to town.  Ted & Peggy got to know Fonso when he moved to LA and next door to me when Bella was a baby – I needed my best friend and he came, he moved to LA  just after finishing law school –he was also my “Man of Honor” in my wedding – I didn’t have a maid of honor.   Fonso has filled my life & living rooms with laughter and dancing, when the babies were little we would dance with them for hours; I’d read that a person learns rhythm from exposure to movement at a young age.  My momma said that if I could dance that I’d know how to find the beat when life losses it’s tempo – I think she was right.  This past weekend the two of us looked at each other with that “dang” they are grown and dancing on their own, and WOW they’ve got style.

Saturday was all about  Cheekwood for a celebration of the Day of the Dead, WOW more music & dancing this time it was  Salsa, once again we were up and dancing!  What a great time – plus Chihully was there in the back ground, reminding me that when we are creating nature is moving through us.

Sunday Halloween happened,  we have had some great Halloweens in the past, living in Malibu for years “The Colony” a neighborhood full of celebrity and movie makers take Halloween to a fabulous level, last year we trick or treated in the Venice Canals and that was pretty awesome too, we’ve spent a Halloween in the Jungle – Sayulita where folks gather in the town square dressed up and parading.  However this year was a show stopping topper!  Lee and I organized a gathering and before I knew it there were more than 30 folks on my front lawn ALL dressed up – adults included, so guess what this means y’all – we have created community here in Nashville – I can NO longer complain that I have NO friends – ‘cause that ain’t true – I sho’do…..

We live in a super cool area, a REAL neighborhood and neighbors that we LOVE, Bella and Lee were Avatars, Lola the lady bug, Fonso – DJ Lance from Yo Gabba Gabba, Peggy – the fat chef, Mary Alice – The Naughty Nun- Ted an old rocker from the ‘80’s and of course I was a gypsy – something not to far off from Mee.  The real costume couple award went to my friends Jeremy & Stephanie who arrived as Diego & Frida!

Fonso left early yesterday morning, Ted & Peggy leave tonight and I will prepare the house for our next guests that arrive tomorrow from Arizona – “The Witness & The Professor.”  Yes, I get tired out but I love a house full of folks…. I’m holding on to time and storing as many memories as possible ’cause what I KNOW is that MY life is about my relationships with “Mee & My People.”

A Noble Beauty Pageant…

September 8, 2010

I’ve been nutsy busy, two birthday parties, Hickman county fair and my first pageant, my sister came into town for a week, Ms. Deanne & her husband (Ms.Deanne owns the preschool in Malibu that Bella attended), Jerry Peele our partner and friend spent the week with us as well, I went back to Chihuly at Cheekwood, spent the day out on the Ranch, cooked non stop, Bella ran in her first cross country meet 3/4 of a mile, Lola brought home the first virus of the year and kindly shared with MaryAlice and Bella, we wrapped everyone’s visit up with a concert in downtown Nashville – Brooks & Dunn’s final show EVER.

All of this in 10 days!

Bella’s party was a hit, I invited 44 kids and 37 made it!  My Mr. Mom friend, Alex whom I met at last years “Wanna Be Groovy Montessori School” brought his daughter and made the funny remark that “Wow, these people actually show up and have conversations with you!” That evening Jane Ellen and her kids, Mary Alice, Nicole (my sister) all hung at our house for dinner and in last years fashion we gathered around the statue of Mary and lit candles for all 4 of our kids whom have just celebrated their birthdays.  Again I heard a whisper..”You have your circle of women and children, you are not alone.”

This was a marathon of a birthday weekend that had begun on Thursday, Bella and Spencer’s birthday and Hickman County Fair’s Pageant night.  Samantha 15, Jane Ellen’s oldest daughter was a contestant this year.  I have never been to a pageant, as a young girl I didn’t have that type of beauty, my momma never had the cash for it and she was a bit of a feminist and I have shivered with horror watching the disastrous child pageants on t.v.

So, I’m sure you are wondering how I “Princess Know It All” became a sponsor of a contestant?

Nobility, that’s how.

The floods came and washed away our Ranch, taking our home with it.  We could barely find people to come and help us clean up and maybe they would come out a couple times but consistent repeat help was unheard of,except Jane Ellen and Samantha.  The two of them worked for two weeks straight, digging through mud, piss and shit (sorry to be so graphic but floods aren’t pretty).  Samantha put her hands where I couldn’t dare to go, she worked in the heat and dry moldy dust harder then most men; I marveled at her work ethic and humbleness.    We got to talking and she told me how she’d been in the Hickman County pageant a couple years back and won! I could see she was beautiful and I was thrilled to find out that she was such a combo – beauty, grace, humility, kindness, compassion, award winning goat showing girl and a member of the high school skeet shooting team!!  I asked her if she was going to do the pageant again and she said “I don’t know, the dresses cost a ton of money.”

Leaving all of my preconceived notions regarding pageant behind and I jumped at the opportunity “I’d be honored for PKIA to sponsor you, I’ve never met a young girl like you before – you have taught me so much these past few weeks just by showing up every morning”.

(Sam is here on the right – helping with the flood clean up)

Well, a couple weeks ago Sam, Jane Ellen, Bailey (Sam’s sister), Bella and myself hit the pavement in search of a pageant gown.  Our first stop was in Hillsboro Village, a woman named Maria owns the sweetest bridal & formal dress shop!  We didn’t find anything here, but felt inspiration!

After sifting through dresses for hours the first gown we tried on was the one we all agreed on.  After returning home to my house we ate dinner, Bella and Lola put on a show and I thanked Sam for including me, I told her I thought it was wonderful for her to give up her Saturday night out with friends.  She said “Mam, I don’t go out on the weekends, I like being with my family and if I wasn’t around my family wouldn’t be able to do what it is that we need to get done to support us all.”  Again, nobility filled the room.

My sister arrived on Thursday, Bella was so thrilled to be able to take cookies to her school, acknowledging her birthday was a big deal – again “Wanna Be Groovy School” has got it so wrong when it comes to holidays and bdays – KIDS LOVE to celebrate – life is about celebration! I rolled to the airport loaded my sister and then surprised Bella after school with Nicole’s arrival!  Lauren my beauty gal was in tow, and on team PKIA – PAGEANT TIME!  Of course Lauren painted up Sam’s face with total grace while the kids played on Jane Ellen’s magnificent farm and I breathed in the sweet Tennessee air. 

Once Sam was painted up we loaded into the Magnolia Thunder Pussy and headed towards Centerville – the quintessential small southern town and home of the Hickman County fair.  The kids were siked to eat fair food, and I made sure that Nicole and Lauren tried everything that I choose not to eat so as to avoid a tummy ache, they loved the Chicken on a stick, I asked the woman making it what she did to the batter she said “Girl, that’s a Slidell secret, my family is Louisiana all the way and we ain’t afraid of some flavor.” 

After everyone got their grub on we headed down towards the barn and outdoor pavilion, the Hickman county fair is a pretty small event in comparison to the Lorain County Fair that I attended as a child, but the feeling was identical and the music blasting out from the rides fo’sho was the same -  Def Leopard and Ratt!” ‘

It’s a good thing we’d done the makeup at the house, ’cause there was one tiny bathroom, one power outlet and a bunch of girls trying to get their cute on.  What was really great was that the little girls in the pageant were make up free, and even bare footed!!!  The announcer was pretty funny, as he shared these little peoples life time goals with us – most claimed to wanna be doctors when they grew up.

Finally, the older girls were up and we all gathered in our seats for Sam’s arrival on stage – we cheered like mad and then it happened SHE WON!

Lauren and I screamed like we’d won!!!!

I was drunk with excitement, rattling off how we should take this show on the road – PKIA PAGEANT STYLIST!

I’d forgotten all my past ideas on pageants;  what I saw before me was the most balanced young girl I have ever met – she understands beauty outside and inside, she knows where food comes from and how to get it, she isn’t afraid of dirt under her nails, she honors her family and respects herself and KNOWS how to stand tall, smile and wave – something that we all need to do in our lives.   Of course my “Hi I’m Not the Rib” wouldn’t be down with all this, but Mee the true personality in this body see’s the duality of all of our characters, and “Hi I’m Something To Look At” has a healthy place in this world too – when she stands in the room with awareness.

Jane Ellen Said it best, “This is just as important as her learning to work on the farm, another piece to add to her confidence – she knows she is good enough on the inside and outside and she knows how to enter the room with the grace of a lady.”


To be Continued….

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