Part Two Continued:

I instantly got a headache the second she opened her mouth, in between telling me about Mee, she kept whispering that the guy singing next to us (there was a band playing) wanted to kill her and had put it out on the street that he was gonna, ‘cause he blamed her for snitching on his old lady to the po-po (police) for her dealing of hard core narcotics! OMG, I wanted to get away.

Finally she pulled out the deck of cards and all I remember was her telling me that something I started long ago and walked away from 8 years ago was coming full circle, she said it was going to be worth more than I thought and pay me over a period of years.  I couldn’t participate, my head was bangin’ and her breath was kickin’.  She then told me I had a big decision to make, but I didn’t have to make it for two months.  She got a bit frustrated ‘cause I didn’t have any questions and I refused to see what she was talking about and finally she let me go.  I looked at Lee and he and I both said, “We gotta get the hell outta here.”

We did too, that night we had us a talk and both agreed, “LA is crazy, we love Malibu but LA is crazy.”  That night I called Maryalice, telling her I was ready to come home; after all if a person is gonna have only one friend than Maryalice is the best possible.

The next morning I was all jazzed for my final meeting and really one that held the most importance for me, I was meeting with two amazing women that I knew were gonna give me some much needed direction.  What I didn’t know is that I would get this direction and the opportunity to complete the project that I walked away from 8 years ago and a reason to return to LA in December – I have two months to make the decision.

Ugh….I just surrendered to Nashville and it’s polite Southern ways, I’ve finally decoded the language – “That’s precious” means – you poor thing, or if they refer to a child being precious means “Oh, how sweet your retarded child is”,  “Ain’t that sweet” means I could give a shit, and oh my favorite “Bless your heart “ means go to hell!” I kind of dig this sort of irreverence.

I do love the yes sir and no mam, it’s so nice to know that the child or person I’m speaking to actually heard me!  I like that there is NO traffic (in comparison), and that Lola doesn’t have panic attacks in Whole Foods because it’s SO crowded, I like all the green that covers the hills and to tell the truth the humidity is good fo’my aging skin!

Really? Now you want me back LA?  Now you want to fulfill a dream that I dreamed long ago?

Granted my relationships with humans out there are just outstanding, I LOVED being with my people and reconnecting with my friends from college who now live there was just grand!  The kids love it too, they have so many play dates and people to hang with that coming back here is a bit lonely.

The other night Lola reminded me that her birthday is in two weeks; she wanted to know who could come.  Everyone on the list lives in LA; she has one friend here not including the two little girls next door.  Bella’s situation is worse here, her bday is in 4 weeks and she has NO one to invite, as she is starting a new school this month and not yet really connected in.

The girls cried when we left LA and of course I couldn’t wait to get home and just sit and stare out the window of my Convent office.  Who is this person writing this to you all?  A few months ago I would have been jumping at the bit to get the hell outta here.  But, what I know is that I can’t go backwards, I never have – I can return to LA but not to the life that I led, I can only go back if I have a new path to follow.

For now I’m gonna continue to be the Belle of My Own Ball, rolling my Magnolia Thunder Pussy to and fro. Oh, that’s right for all of you that missed the announcement of my new cars name – Magnolia Thunder Pussy.

My big white car that screams “Magnolia” and made of 5,000 lbs of steele, reminding me that I am in control of one thing other than myself – my thunder pussy!

However Magnolia Thunderpussy – a real person, was a famous burlesque dancer in San Francisco during the 1950’s and 60’s.  She owned a café that catered to most of the city, serving irreverent desserts – such as banana splits that looked like a penis, shaved coconut, as it’s pubic hair and topping the banana with whipped cream.  I would have liked this zany gal’s style, ‘cause fo’sho there is a part of me that KNOWS not to take life and myself so seriously.

I find folks that do this way too boring.  Since I’m rolling around here in Nashville alone most of the time I might as well have a giggle.  We call the car MTP in the family, and the kids think it stands for “Mercedes That’s Powerful.”  The other day I pulled up alongside some woman driving the same car, she was totally together in her appearance – much like me. I wondered if we had anything in common, you know I really want to make some new friends here, so I thought to roll my window down and ask her “So, how do you like your Thunder Pussy?”

Oh, well maybe next time.  We are off to Florida for a week to visit Tara & the Real Steele Magnolia’s – my mother in law and Idora.

FO’sho I will have some thoughts to share.

PS

Lee has just read this post and wanted me to tell you all that he does not support the naming of my car, that when he drives it, it is a lovely Mercedes and so therefore he is splitting the car’s personality.