Brooks & Dunn – My Maria

This is my “I did it blog!”

I finished my book and now I’m awaiting the printing of the manuscript – which will be ready tomorrow!!!

I feel a little bit restless and I’ve got a ton of work to be working on, articles for magazines, web site copy for PKIA’s makeover – which by the way is almost ready!

However all I wanna do is space out, I’d love to go shopping but it’s so hot here STILL – almost 100 degrees again today that even looking at fall clothes brings me down.

The girls have totally transitioned into their new schools and I am proud to say that I have gotten into a Nashville groove; I’m honestly not fighting it anymore – in fact I’ve gotten so comfy that the thought of leaving makes me nervous.

A few weeks ago I attended the Brooks & Dunn concert with Lee, Deanne, Jerry Peele, Maryalice and Everett.  I expected to experience a typical large venue concert, tap my foot and then head home, however what happened there shifted me.  You see there were over 17,000 humans in attendance and it felt like 20.  Living in LA the celebrity fan relationship is separate, in country music and here in Nashville the song writer, performer, musician is connected to the fan – they purposefully want to be seen and felt as equals; their music is about the life of their listener.

I looked out at the crowd, blown away by the relationship I felt to these folks.  I’ve just witnessed the resilience of these Nashvillian’s, as they have cleaned up after the worst tragedy since the Civil War to strike their beloved city, they did it primarily by themselves – cruising through Nashville one would NEVER suspect what just went down here only a few months ago.

I felt a connection to the entire room and for the first time completely understood country music.  My grandfather loved Hank Williams, Alabama, Dolly and of course Loretta Lynn – My grandparents lived in the Pennsylvania Mountains, and my Poppy worked in the Steele Mill, after migrating from Brooklyn we were what I like to call “Guinny Billie’s”, Italian Hillbillies.

I felt a tie to Loretta, I was just a tiny kid watching “A Coal Miners Daughter” I knew that I too could make it out from underneath my momma’s struggles and create a life of my own.

Somewhere along the line I became arrogant and believed country music lacked sophistication, I thought success was found in the big city and anything country represented what my inner child wanted to flee.  I apologize for this thinking ‘cause boy oh boy was I wrong, Country Music IS music – the instruments that are played are intense the fiddle, harmonica, guitars, banjo’s talk about “ancestral”.

I walked away from this concert KNOWING that I’d way rather be Nashville than Hollywood, these are the folks I want a relationship with.  Even if we return to the west coast I won’t ever loose my relationship with what I’ve learned here.

Isabella has the same resilience, I’m most proud of her right now; she has been running cross country for the past few weeks – ¾ of a mile!  This is huge ‘cause she is a little thing and it’s been SPANKIN’ hot here.  At first she HATED it, she would ask me after practice, “Momma are you sure this is fun, are you sure this is a good idea?”  Of course I didn’t really know the answer ‘cause fo’sho if you put my behind out there I’d NEVER be able to do it – in fact a few weeks ago at one of the meets they allowed the parents to walk the course with the kids before the meet, I was way behind drinking all of Bella’s water, and using up her cold wash rag that I’d packed. By the time we made it back from the walk I was ready to go home, huffin’ & puffin’– I had to bite my tongue from complaining, ’cause lord knows I’ve got to be mindful of what I transfer from myself to her.

Bella’s amazing, her first two meets she did all right, running the ¾ mile in 7:02 and 7:01 – the first time she ran I started to cry, watching her tiny frame push in that heat, I realized she is not a baby anymore – she is a little girl.  This past Sunday Bella brought it, the first girls turned the corner towards the finish line and there she was pushing hard – OMG –We all (Maryalice, Lee, Lola & myself) screamed she came in first for her grade and her school 6:10!!

When we caught up to her she said she imagined Jane Ellen and her kids all there cheering her on, Jane Ellen had told her the day before that she could do it; and Bella listened.

As I watch her push through things in life and rise to the occasion without quitting I feel inspired.  I see the way she has taken to a new school – yet again, and a new sport and makin’ it happen.  This coming Sunday is her last meet of the season, marking more than just a race.

The other day I reread through my book that I’ve just finished and I was amazed at what I’ve learned in the past 2 years, by not giving up and stepping to the plate I’ve done it – I’ve healed my body, taken personal responsibility for myself – emotionally and physically, I’ve owned up to my past and in the process I’ve learned more than I could have ever imagined.  You see I’m not someone who could really even cook, I didn’t have a clue as what it meant to take care of myself, I was never a fantastic student and I’d always chosen to ride in the back seat – literally and figuratively. The past two years I’ve taken the wheel and gosh it feels good, so even if NYC doesn’t love my book it’s OK, ‘cause I now KNOW how capable I am and I’ve got all of you.

Cross your fingers y’all…..