It’s free & it’s fun..join mee and lets build a community table in a new location!
Neighborhoods, changes, Lama’s…Life.
April 6, 2011
Marielle & Mee
I’m sitting on my couch staring through the French doors into a yard that has been filling out with big green leaves. After a long winter the arrival of spring = the arrival of new life.
I grew up in the cold northern Ohio Tundra and then moved west and south, choosing to live in warm climates. I loved the year round sunshine and shivered at the thought of ever returning to a seasonal climate. However now that I’ve just finished my 3rd winter here in Nashville I’ve caught a groove for the seasons. This winter was said to be one of the worst on records here, yet the girls and I moved through it with a fantastic rhythm. I wrote a ton, made yummy soups, and embraced snow days with my girls – as now I see the value of their littleness – knowing it won’t last too much longer. Living in a world with different seasons is a fantastic way to feel a makeover every 4 to 6 months.
I think what has really helped is having neighbors that we adore. You see side-by-side we live our family of four and their family of 5; Not only do their 3 little girls and our 2 little girls make 5 little people friends but us adults totally groove too. We all move back and forth between our houses all day long – built in playdates the old school way – actual neighbors. Both of our houses are full of life, come 3 pm – preschool ends and things really heat up.
If you’ve been following my blog for the past few years you’ll know that things have been incredibly lonely for our family the first year we were in Nashville. We lived in the house with “whispering walls”, isolated not meeting one neighbor and Bella’s first summer here was awful – as she spent long hot days trapped inside with me, at the time an incredibly sick woman, unable to stand at times. Then our second season we met the LeCerf family, Isabella and Lola connected to their girls and I connected to Marielle – I jumped in driving the kids in a car pool and made playdates happen with our most compatible family you see they had lived all over like us from Paris to Mexico City. Marielle and I squeezed in tiny chats that dove deep into whom we are and our aspirations.
Last June they left Nashville after a 4-year run here, returning to Mexico City. Isabella and I were crushed.
The good news is that we’d moved out of the creepy house and into a wonderful new home in one of the most walk able neighborhoods in the city. We didn’t have friends but we were part of Nashville and inhaled it; participating in more and more events, enrolling Isabella in a new school located in the neighborhood where she joined a summer camp and Lola attended a new pre-school also way more compatible with our family.
What’s happened in the past year is amazing – I have turned 360 degrees health wise, I’ve gotten comfortable in fact more comfy living in Nashville then any other city ever – I have also felt safer emotionally than I have ever felt in my entire life! This is huge y’all!!!!!
My writing has developed, fantastic opportunities have arrived as a result spiritually I continue to grow…so, with that said things may change.
Yep, just as I fixed my office here in the house – the last room that needed tweaking, an opportunity for Lee and I has come knocking, returning us to the west coast.
I am torn.
This past weekend, my neighbor was away for a one night women’s retreat, her husband was swinging it with their 3 kids all under the age of 5 years plus 1 – her friends daughter age 6. I immediately opened the French doors leading to their back yard and began cooking. There I was in my kitchen 6-month old baby on my hip and 5 little girls at the table. My girls were glowing with excitement – you see they love feeling connected and so do I. Saturday morning I opened the doors and the little girl parade began; we had a fantastic lunch after Lee and Ted (our neighbor) walked to the park with all 6 girls. At one point the little just turned 3 yr old had a melt down and had to go home for a break, when she came back she looked at me and said “Meme I missed you all day, I sorry.” I hugged her and in doing so I saw again what Bill Attride the astrologer told me upon my arrival to Nashville, it is my place of destiny and I will only have poignant relationships – deeply felt – who knew these relationships were going to be with little kids?
Here my life is about my girls, my husband, my writing, Mary Alice, Jane Ellen, our ranch, my neighbors and of course The Noble Food Makeover. I’m not a socialite, I don’t belong to a club, and I barely go out at night, as I like to drift of to sleep with my little people.
What I know now is that life changes quickly, scenarios shift, circumstances evolve and “those people” grow up. When we lived in Sayulita, Mexico there was a time when nothing else existed, we were complete. This is the moment that I heard time call our name – the next was awaiting in the wing. I moved here into the next kicking and screaming, craving what we’d left. I knew not to rush, life in the jungle wasn’t going to last forever. Here as I’ve found my groove and grown into a newer version of Mee I hear the same whisper – this too shall shift.
Yesterday the shift came and now I’ve got to revel in the moment, because it seems that life is call Mee to step up and expand possibly somewhere else or will that expansion take place here in Nashville?
Of course just when I think I KNOW IT ALL, life shows me that I don’t; our 38th houseguest (since September) Lama Tenzin (a Tibetan Lama) arrived Sunday morning and with him he carried a TORNADO of energy and information for MEE to see….
To Be Continued….’Cause man oh man has this week heated up.
Spring Break: Part 2: Birthday’s, Healthy cooking classes, Noble Food makeover.
March 31, 2011
Appropriately my birthday was the following day, I spent it organizing and reflecting. Nanny & Bubba sent me the most wonderful package of cards – each with a photo of my life and a story inside. Senora Gina made me a video – both of these opened my heart. When I married Lee I had no IDEA what was coming – A WHOLE LOTTA LIVING. I’d led a big life up until having kids, and I’d loved – a little bit but man oh man have I opened, shifted and grown. My good friend Mary Alice really understands me and is probably one of the best listeners I know. She swooped in picked me up and took me to lunch, we went to the grocery store and cooked dinner – nothing fancy – just a nice day in my life. I think that this birthday is probably my most introspective and poignant. Never before have I reflected with such an aerial point of view. Meaning that I didn’t attempt to per-sway my memories to show me only what I wanted to see. I have spent the past few weeks leading up to this birthday investigating who I have been and where I spent my life time – so far. I have always been a lady girl – meaning there is a child like presence to the way that I see myself and the world. This birthday I feel as if I have shifted. I am now inside reevaluating everything, putting me out on the table and the way that I am moving through the world – creating a new approach. The difference between a lady and a girl is that a lady KNOWS that she is the creator of her destiny and I am looking down the road at who I’m destined to be.
Yesterday I loaded the girls and the M.T.P (my car irreverently named “Magnolia Thunder Pussy”) with tons of fresh produce, some extra pots and a cooking burner. We rolled on over to Corinthian Baptist Church where I quickly began setting up to cook. Pastor Fuzz hit the streets with Bella and Lola in tow, looking for kids to come on in and cook. He returned with 3 girls – Elliyah 8yrs, Keoisha & Wiltiesha both under the age of 16. The plan was that the 6 of us were to cook for 25 adults – the Wednesday evening Bible Study.
The two older girls were a little hesitant when I told them that No we were not going to be cooking chicken or shrimp but instead a stir fry veggie dish with sea vegetables and brown rice, along with a vegetable soup with a miso base. Right away one of the girls said, “I don’t eat GREEN things.” I giggled and handed them a knife along with the broccoli. One thing I know is not to get hooked by others fears, just be the mirror and make it happen. I set one of the big tables up with cutting boards and washed produce – the girls got to chopping and peeling.
I was in the kitchen cooking away with the door wide open, a big storm was brewing; as the rain began to fall I saw myself outside of myself – I was doing it – bringing the heart back to this kitchen. I was busting my hump and these girls were following my lead, even Lola was part of the deal – washing, cleaning and singing. By 6:15 Hattie – one of the women from my first cooking class showed up and jumped in – she told me she’s been doing the miso soup and was on the team. I must tell you how easy this project is – I just show up, buy whatever food is available at KS Market – best produce prices in the city and cook. I was nervous the night before because I wasn’t sure if we had enough kitchen supplies to cook for 25 folks. But now what I know is that the key to making things happen is simple – SHOW UP – cooking in this kitchen is like getting a heart pumping again – the more I do it the stronger the beat creating CHI – or as we know it circulation this circulation will bring more life/people into the process.
I’m so pleased that my girls are a part of this project too – they will know that you don’t wait on others you just do it. I’m sure if I keep going that one-day people will start to donate and participate – we need food & we need more dishes and silver ware. For now I just budget my grocery money to include A MEAL THAT HEALS once a week. The best part about coming from very little is that I know how to weave magic with what I’ve got and healing foods are NOT expensive. Next week we will till a large plot near the church and grow food to support the Noble Food Makeover. I’m also attending a workshop this weekend “Chickens as our pets” all about raising chickens in an urban setting. If Corinthian can grow their own food, raise their own organic eggs than they can host their own neighborhood farmers market. Serious sustainability is happening over here y’all.
Around 7pm the elders of the church showed up, they filled their plates with A MEAL THAT HEALS and ate. You see I’ve already fulfilled my goal of serving A MEAL THAT HEALS, everything else I do will be the KUZU GRAVY.
*If you are interested in attending a cooking class at Corinthian Baptist Church I will be there every other Wednesday at 4:45 – my next class is next Wednesday April 6, 2011 – write me at mee@princessknowitall.com for directions and details.
The girls that prepared the meal along with me ate every single bite on their plates – then when I interviewed them they felt proud and said so. Peep the video below:
Hattie & Eloise (another one of the gals from the first class) took over the kitchen and I headed towards the door – you see this is THEIR kitchen I am only a guide and they are taking the lead, suddenly I froze in my tracks – the elders were sitting in the church singing a hymn – I put my bags of pots and cooking supplies down, my eyes welled up with tears as the tunnel of time that I’d dreamed about plowed through my heart again – who knew I would have such a profound spiritual experience in this Baptist Church – Pastor Fuzz is my friend and his congregation my teachers.
I watched as Look Out Mountain and the woman I met from Signal Mountain flashed before me, I heard the words of the hymn they were singing “I am on the battlefield for my lord”…I have truly found my string and my faith is restored. The second half of my life has begun and my solid foundation has been poured.
THIS IS HAPPENING…
A Day With A Beginning & An End…
February 2, 2011
“If I Die Young”
-The Band Perry
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It’s only Tuesday and already the week feels as if it is moving at a rapid speed and once again I am reminded of the duality that is part of living.
I dreamed Sunday night that I was in some city somewhere that was flooding, I watched the water gush around me, I didn’t panic but relaxed into the dream wanting to know what happened next. This is a great thing, ‘cause I truly believe that how we navigate our sleeping dreams is the same rhythm that we move through the waking dream that we have created – also known as our life.
Personally I see the water as emotion, big waves coming and going. Instead of reacting with fear I just allow it flow – ‘cause we all know that you can’t stop the waves only learn how to surf them.
This morning was proof as we started the day watching Isabella perform in her schools talent show, she sang The Band Perry’s If I Die Young. She wore a long white dress with a tulle skirt underneath and cowboy boots and stood in the center of the stage with unbelievable confidence and beauty. I felt a huge wave of honor wash over me, my daughter has become someone who can hold her own, and she is brave and capable. In fact all of the children were truly mirrors of the school that they are attending – they are a reflection of how they are held within the school environment – with support and love.
Lee and I then climbed in his truck and headed out to the ranch, he needed to check on something’s while I hung in the cattle company office writing. The rain was pouring down as this giant storm that is moving across the US found its way to Nashville.
At Christmas time I wrote a blog “A Ranch Life”, in this blog I shared meeting with Mr.& Mrs. James Lewis. They’d worked on Lee’s family ranches out in Colorado as well as here on our ranch in Nashville. The two of them had spent the evening opening a window back into time, allowing me the opportunity to see their world as well as the world that my husband comes from.
Last year Mrs. Lewis was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and yesterday morning she died. I had wanted to cook for her, to try to build her up and maybe help Mr. Lewis feel as if he was doing something physically to help her. However with the holidays and the school starting back I hadn’t made it out there and shortly after meeting her she began the process of leaving her body, not eating much more than 3 bites in the past month.
Mr. Lewis said that The Ranch Christmas party was their last date night.
When Lee told me she had passed I immediately wanted to say goodbye.
Many folks had shown up to pay their last respects and Mr. Lewis was unbelievably sweet, with everyone that approached him. Seeing Lee he opened up and began sharing stories of A Ranch Life, the two of them passed times gone by back and forth.
I felt strangely drawn to Mrs. Lewis resting in the casket, and wanted to be closer to her, I knew there was more for her to share.
The casket was covered in beautiful handmade quilts that she had made; also there were her oil paintings each of a place she’d been.
In parts of South America they believe that if you stand in the shadow of someone within 48 hours of their death you will see clearly whom they were, as they too are reflecting from the other side the life that they have led and the person that they were.
I stopped before a stain glass window that she had made and was also on display, I felt as if I had walked into a doorway of her life, images passed through my mind as Mr. Lewis narrated in the background. I saw her in the arms of her momma born Frances Elizabeth in the panhandle of Texas, I watched as her father discovered Tennessee just after world war 2 and decided to settle, I witnessed her youthful beauty at 16 when she met her husband to be. I watched her raise children and move cows on horseback, I saw her stand as a woman strong and elegant; she climbed mountains in front of me and set grand beautiful tables presentable for a king. And mainly I watched her walk with her husband; they were partners and a team. Mr. Lewis said he’d not ever left her side not until she passed and he heard god tell him to sit down he’d take it from here.
Someone approached the casket and placed in her hands a yellow rose, sent from her 97 year old momma in Texas and Bella’s voice rang through my heart:
“Lord make me a rainbow, I’ll shine down on my mother
She’ll know I’m safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and
Life ain’t always what you think it ought to be, no
ain’t even grey, but she buries her baby”.
I then heard Mrs. Lewis whisper into my ear, you go forward girl and be brave – live a big life, just like me. Suddenly I felt as if my shoulder blades opened up and wings pushed through my skin – I stood in her shadow and walked away with the ability to give my dreams flight.
Again I am reminded that we do not know the extent of ones influence, until it is upon us.
Holding A Line With A Momma’s Hug….
January 7, 2011
“Southern Girl”
-Amos Lee
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breakfast at the rose cafe venice beach
Another dream:
I was in Pastor Fuzz’s (from the Noble Food Makeover) church listening to him preach, you see he is a preacher who starts off talking and then before you know he is singing – just as he began to sing a woman ran down the aisle and turned the corner of the pew I was sitting in. She was wearing a beautiful yellow nightgown, I recognized it as I had not seen it since I was 4 years old. I looked into her face and she was beautiful – my momma. Her face was clear and young she was who she’d been when she was 25 – hair shiny and full. Without speaking she climbed onto my lap much in the same way that my two little girls do, straddling me. I opened my arms to receive her – and then I felt her heart meld right into mine. There were no words, I looked around to see if anyone else could see her and then she disappeared.
Wide-awake, I opened my eyes the room was still and my breathing was fast. It has been 20 years since my mother has hugged me this way. I’ve seen her before in my dreams always I ask her a million questions where have you been? How are you? What happened? This time I said nothing and allowed her to love me.
I am constantly seeing how much of a Know It All I have been, I spent years working on myself and for a period of time I thought I’d dealt with it all, but the gift of life and loss is that there are many layers to move through and just when one has grown and healed another opportunity appears. It has taken years for me to receive, seriously receive on so many different levels. I now understand that my momma and I can actually have an even closer relationship now that she is on the other side. Our relationship is heart based, not words and personality. I can now connect to her in the same way I connect to my girls – I can FEEL them, when they need me, when they are hungry & scared. Finally I am able to feel her too as it took learning to live from my heart to do so.
I’m also sure to hug my girls with my whole heart, melding it into theirs.
Xmas was fantastic this year, my sister & nephew came to town and with them traveled yet another door way for my mother to enter through.
I’d bought Lee a record player – not to be confused with a turn table, but an old school all in one, not so hot speakers included record player. When I was a kid the record player was the focal point of our living room. My momma loved to listen to her albums and her music became our music. I thought it would be a great gift if Nicole (my sister) brought our old albums for Lee as part of his gift.
The first album to hit the turntable was the sound track from the film “A Star Is Born” Barbra Streisand & Chris Christopherson. Suddenly I was a tiny little person and my mother was in the room wearing that bright yellow nightgown and dancing around.
Soon after Xmas we loaded ourselves onto an airplane and landed at LAX in Los Angeles. I felt as if I were wearing a Berka, wrapped so heavily in my dark colored winter layers and surrounded by high heeled hoochies. We’d rented a fabulous penthouse condo just off of the beach and filled it with Nanny & Bubba. The last time I was in LA it felt crazy and fast; I was overwhelmed.
This time couldn’t have been more different, we all relaxed!!
I didn’t over book myself and instead opened the door and invited everyone to come and visit – and they did. Once again I was amazed by my relationships and how they have held the hand of time. I had lunch with my friend Paola whom I have not seen since we were really girls, sitting across from her was fantastic seeing the Mee that I had been and glimpsing the Mee of now. It was amazing to witness our paths and how on the outside they seem different but the two of us have been walking the same walk inside – searching for our Original Selves.
Our last day was spent with my BFF Gab and her family, I watched her little girl & again was gripped by time – and saw how sweet it is to hold a line.
Happy New Year Y’all.
