Going to church in Nashville

May 3, 2011

The weather here in the south has been wild for weeks, sweet home Alabama and the horrible tornado that struck there was devastating to all of us, as we were once again reminded that life changes in an instant.  We felt this storm as it passed over us and had the temperature not dropped it could have hit here.  That very day as it was spankin’ Alabama Rusty our foreman at the cattle company was moving cows to higher ground  and the treatment center was moving folks from the mens house as the water was rising on the Piney River.  We were all tense as it is a year ago this week that Nashville suffered the great flood and we like many others lost much property including our home and seven other buildings, 400 goats, barns, fencing, cows and countless amounts of ranching equipment.  We’ve learned a  lot and mainly to trust the process and to have faith the the right path will be revealed.  I personally changed as a result of so much loss.  Nashville inspired me as folks pulled themselves up by the boot straps and rebuilt.  I fell in love and like a women in love I found my way to the heart of this city via it’s stomach.  Maybe that is the purpose of natural disasters, to make us stop appreciate the small things and connect as a community.  Just maybe tragedy is life’s way of showing us that we have lost relationship with one another and the simple aspects of life.

Mercury went direct last week and wow did life fly forward (as mercury retrograde is all about recycling through our past). I’ve had my seat belt on ’cause fo’sho my M.T.P. has turned into a time machine.  I’m not certain if it’s just me, but each day seems to zoom away.  I’m very happy to say that I’ve been enjoying myself and partaking in all that Nashville has to offer, from the Lady Gaga concert – yep, I went and yep I loved it – well what I loved is how thought provoking the experience was.  In the 1970′s Bette Midler rolled on the scene encouraging folks to embrace their outrageous selves, my momma loved her, therefore Bette Midler was a part of my childhood.  Madonna busted out in the 80′s & ’90′s pushing the sexual envelope, placing societal taboo’s on the table.  Now we have Lady Gaga, honestly I’d listened to her music and popped around in my seat cruising down the road to her tunes but I really had no idea what she was about other than funky outfits and giving us something to look at other than the perfectly clad mannequins that typically grace the red carpet ceremonies.  What I loved about her concert besides the fact that this little sista’ can sing; is that she has a very clear and direct message – be you, you were born this way, you are perfect as you are, god and Jesus love us all. There is room in heaven for you, regardless of what society says.  This is a big deal here in this deeply Southern city where “Jesus lovers” attempted to block access to the concert by shouting such “Christian” things like,  “You women are sluts, and Jesus HATES gays.  There is no room for you Heathens in Heaven.”  Gaga’s concert was a beautiful reaction to this unattractive behavior.  I was told as a child that Jesus loved and walked with those that society rejected, I always believed that he loved all humans and that hate was not apart of his language.  Anyways, I was intrigued by how many of us need to hear these words that we are good enough.  Even me, Ms.Know It All, have moments of, “Really, am I OK? Am I good enough?

The icing on the cake was The Band Perry sitting down alongside of us, as I was in a private sweet the guest of a dear friend who happens to work for Sony Music.  If y’all remember Isabella sang The Band Perry’s hit If I Die Young at Corinthian Baptist Church and her talent show.  They were so kind to send me home with a note for Isabella and offering up plenty of conversation, as they had seen the video from Corinthian Baptist Church of Isabella singing and loved it.

Earth day was another good time here in Nashville, this city is so do-able, meaning that connecting and participating is super easy.  We joined a handful of families from Bella’s school and spread our blankets out to listen to all the good music that Nashville over flows with, plus I made my way through the agricultural booths and food advocates.  My favorite was meeting The Barefoot Farmer, Jeff Poppen, a biodynamic farming guru!

The Barefoot Farmer & Mee

Easter was another grand day as Mary Alice arrived early in the morning and the girls had an egg hunt with our neighbors and another family from Bella’s school.  I went to mass but it was so crowded with the over flow of “Holiday Catholics” like myself that I spent most of mass sitting outside on face book.

The following week Abi and I headed downtown to meet with folks at the health department.  We applied for a mini-grant a few months back and it looks like we are in the running.  What I appreciated the most was that the women we met with really see the value of the Noble Food Makeover; it is a sustainable approach – gardens, farmers market, cooking – community – all under one roof.  I also have come to a total understanding – I’m not an activist, I’m not a “food advocate” I’m just a lady sharing what I know and it’s not all about food, it’s about choices.  The food is the gravy, ‘cause only once we’ve taken back our power, seen ourselves, truly understand that we are creating our own outcomes can we organize ourselves with healthy food choices.  I don’t want to create programs that are dependent on grants, that goes against my entire personal deal – I want to create programs that are dependent on the individuals and the community that they belong too.  The Noble Food Makeover is not a charity event, and what I do when I cook at Corinthian is all about my personal honor and the ability to participate and share.  Yes there are items needed to be donated but it’s once again more about sharing.

Abi and I left the health department completely moved by our meeting, Abi has been working diligently on the grant and now I’m finishing it up.  If we get some money it will be to build the gardens, buy the food and offer a stipend to members of the congregation and the city of Nashville that want to really learn to cook and recreate Noble Food Makeovers all over the city.

Just left the Health Department-feeling good!

Friday was a big one in this here house, Isabella made her 1st Communion in the Catholic Church – she was so beautiful and proud.  Our house was a buzz and so was the M.T.P as we all piled in – my neighbor, her three little girls, Lola, Ana (Lee’s daughter), Abi, Mary Alice and myself – fo’sho we looked like a crew of sister wives with Lee holding the baby.  One of the moms later asked, “Wow all of your sisters showed up?” I giggled,” No, we aren’t related.” Maybe ‘cause we all refer to lee as big daddy this adds fuel to the fire? I am so irreverent.   I’d received a letter from the school apologizing for the way in which they handled the “punching” situation a few weeks back.  I quickly found the principal and told him how much I appreciated the letter, that’s the thing about Nashville and the south – there is still a sense of etiquette and grace that is applied to every day living.  What I wanted to explain to the Principal is that I’m am sorry if I seemed upset by the situation but that I love deeply, I care deeply, I feel deeply and I provide as a mother from a very deep place.

That night I finally went to the Bluebird Café to listen to songwriters in the round. The Bluebird Café is a local legend; songwriters fill the stage and share the tales that led to the songs.  Everyone sits quietly listening; again I reveled at all of the talent that this southern city holds within its arms.

My D.F.F. (Dear family friend) rolled down from Ohio, she had a follow up visit with Dr. Sheng and she wanted to help me out with an up and coming Noble Food Makeover  event. She brought with her a friend Cantrell who was way game when it came to supporting the Noble Food Makeover.  The good news before I go any further is that my D.F.F is feeling way better and she has totally taken her power back in the kitchen – yep she is doin’ it y’all preparing meals that heal fo’herself and her entire family has rallied and are doing the same.

Saturday was The Celebration of Health for the Nashville Public Schools, this event was held at Carter Lawrence School on 12th Ave and Edge hill. Mary Alice, Lee, my girls, D.F.F. and Cantrell all loaded up in the M.T.P once again for a day of participation.  We served up healthy blueberry smoothies packed with sea veggies, kale and Bee Pollen (local helps with outdoor allergies).  The Vita Mix was rockin’ and of course we spent the day laughing. (click here to watch video from the days events)

Celebration Of Health - Nashville Public Schools

Celebration Of Health - Nashville Public Schools

The grand finale was an evening out, The Ryman Auditorium - the original home of the grand old opry.  I grew up hearing about the Ryman my grandparents were big country music fans, Loretta Lynn is one of my all time favorites and Patsy Cline reminds me of my momma – as she loved to play her records.  I knew this joint was gonna be cool but what I didn’t know is that it was all about going to church.  Lee and I entered the main room and I caught my breath – TIME washed over me, I could feel all that had been felt over the years – both from the stage and from the audiences; the energy of dreams coming true.  We walked to our pew – ‘cause the Ryman is called the mother church and set up originally so.  Tom Jones stepped on stage and my foot got to tapping.  I didn’t know just how many of his songs I knew but let me tell you this dude is 70 years old and still getting down.  His band was fantastic – I could have done with out the flinging of underwear as I’m such a germ freak but I appreciated 70 year old women throwing ‘em up there – again I heard Lady Gaga’s voice as she said “let’s go to church Nashville.”  Upon my arrival 2.5 years ago I had no idea that I would have such a soulful experience on so many different levels.  Who knew my spirit was gonna go to church and revel in it.

 

 


 

 

Chattanooga Choo..Chooo, Red Lobster & The Aquarium.

March 19, 2011

This is just a straight up blog about MEE & my process, ’cause fo’sho shawty I’m in the middle of one!
Our 37th house guest since Sept. has just left the building – yep that’s 37 extra people other than the ones that live here in the house – and “those people” that reside here can feel like 37 folks.  I’m telling you I run a small inn on top of the many other tasks that are under my command.  I recently read that most women do 3 hours of house work every morning before leaving for their 8 hour jobs.  I am one of these people – I wake up at 6, prepare breakfast, make lunches, dress my girls, make beds, start laundry, tidy play room, cook dinner – for later – OH MAN – The garbage truck just pulled away & for the second week in a row I forgot to get it out there! DANG..OK, back to the list – I shower, take Lola to pre-school and usually make it to my office at 10am.  This means that I have until 2pm to write columns, feed two websites & work on my book.  I’m totally screwed if my kids stay home from school sick or I try to sneak in an appointment with a doctor, hairdresser, dentist.  Of course I volunteer at Bella’s school or at least show up for lunch once a month – but dang, it feels like a marathon I’m running over here.  OH how could I possibly have forgotten to add in the Noble Food Makeover, morning show appearances & radio interviews?  Plus, cooking lessons..whew. And the big one Homework, being an attentive mother and wife.

And Last but not least – ANSWERING EMAILS – Seriously this could take 4 hours a day if I stayed up on it.

The other night I watched the movie Date Nite with Tina Fey and my favorite part was actually hearing a woman say that her dream vacation is to check into a luxury hotel and sit in a chair, alone.  No one touching her, talking to her, asking her, calling her.  I’ve been away once alone in 8.5 years – I’m starting to feel like Tina Fey, the only difference is I’m so glad to feel well enough to participate in life that I don’t want to miss a second.  It’s as if a small flame has attached it’s self to me and I’m burning to keep going – to achieve my dreams and expand as a human.

I HAD a family helper (way better term than nanny), she picked Lola up twice a week after school, stayed for 3 hours & came on Fridays so I could work for a couple or do errands alone.  However we had a big old “situation”.

On Fridays she and Lola picked Bella up at 2pm from school and she’d keep both girls until 4pm.  On this particular Friday (a few weeks ago) she decided to leave Lola home alone and drive to get Bella – Lola is 4 years old!!!

Lola panicked, walked outside saw that her car was gone and proceeded to walk up and down the street screaming for help..Heart breaking right?

Two teenage boys found her and brought her home, waiting on the porch with her. Yep..again thank goodness they were nice kids, ’cause that could have been down right horrible.

Can you imagine the abandonment?

So, since I’ve been swinging the show and Lee is often out of town, my person is busy being a bunch of persons to everyone.  I don’t want to hire someone new because I KNOW Lola needs to know that I am here and that she is safe and secure…but dang y’all I’m tired……As I’m writing this I’m listening to NPR in the background and I am reminded of the Nobility of the Japanese people, as they have lost everything and are standing in lines patiently, supporting one another not robbing or stealing – I feel inspired by them – to keep my head high and be my best person.

I’m not certain if the “nanny” drama or if Japan turning upside down has me clinging to my girls, knowing that my role on being the main influence in their life is dissipating and that life can change in an instant.   I’m spinning with time again and seeing my mother as an individual – as she must have felt parenting us.  I have a birthday approaching next week and it’s significant because I will have out lived my mother and two years ago I thought I was wearing her blue shoes – but look at me, I’m well and participating – rockin’ my very own pair of PLATFORMS – with flames attached that is.

Gotta run, it’s parent teacher conferences and I’m stuck in a Chapter writing – can’t seem to push through.  Plus we are having us a real Tennessee Spring Break – going to Chattanooga & the aquarium, and then  fulfilling Bella’s dream -  to go to Red Lobster, as she is obsessed with it – and all she talks about.  I think she thinks that when you enter the doors,  suddenly we will be in Punta de Mita, Mexico where we sat and ate fresh lobster by the sea. Her only lobster experience.

Last night I watched Eat Pray & Love, too missing the exotic places that we have lived and then I woke up realizing that here in Nashville I too have learned  to EAT, PRAY & LOVE – what a great bday gift, I have outlived my mother and the disease that she died with is no longer haunting me.

So, I’m creating my own exotic experience; I guess when your first book is entitled “Princess Know It All..Queen Of The Double Wides” Chattanooga becomes ones Riviera.  ‘Cause it’s about the square footage of ones life, not the size of our house, reminding us that our life is good enough when we see it as so.”

Holding A Line With A Momma’s Hug….

January 7, 2011

“Southern Girl”
-Amos Lee

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breakfast at the rose cafe venice beach

Another dream:

I was in Pastor Fuzz’s (from the Noble Food Makeover) church listening to him preach, you see he is a preacher who starts off talking and then before you know he is singing – just as he began to sing a woman ran down the aisle and turned the corner of the pew I was sitting in.  She was wearing a beautiful yellow nightgown, I recognized it as I had not seen it since I was 4 years old.  I looked into her face and she was beautiful – my momma.  Her face was clear and young she was who she’d been when she was 25 – hair shiny and full.  Without speaking she climbed onto my lap much in the same way that my two little girls do, straddling me.  I opened my arms to receive her – and then I felt her heart meld right into mine.  There were no words, I looked around to see if anyone else could see her and then she disappeared.

Wide-awake, I opened my eyes the room was still and my breathing was fast.  It has been 20 years since my mother has hugged me this way.  I’ve seen her before in my dreams always I ask her a million questions where have you been? How are you? What happened?  This time I said nothing and allowed her to love me.

I am constantly seeing how much of a Know It All I have been, I spent years working on myself and for a period of time I thought I’d dealt with it all, but the gift of life and loss is that there are many layers to move through and just when one has grown and healed another opportunity appears.   It has taken years for me to receive, seriously receive on so many different levels.  I now understand that my momma and I can actually have an even closer relationship now that she is on the other side.  Our relationship is heart based, not words and personality.  I can now connect to her in the same way I connect to my girls – I can FEEL them, when they need me, when they are hungry & scared.  Finally I am able to feel her too as it took learning to live from my heart to do so.

I’m also sure to hug my girls with my whole heart, melding it into theirs.

Xmas was fantastic this year, my sister & nephew came to town and with them traveled yet another door way for my mother to enter through.

I’d bought Lee a record player – not to be confused with a turn table, but an old school all in one, not so hot speakers included record player.  When I was a kid the record player was the focal point of our living room.  My momma loved to listen to her albums and her music became our music.  I thought it would be a great gift if Nicole (my sister) brought our old albums for Lee as part of his gift.

The first album to hit the turntable was the sound track from the film “A Star Is Born” Barbra Streisand & Chris Christopherson.  Suddenly I was a tiny little person and my mother was in the room wearing that bright yellow nightgown and dancing around.

Soon after Xmas we loaded ourselves onto an airplane and landed at LAX in Los Angeles.  I felt as if I were wearing a Berka, wrapped so heavily in my dark colored winter layers and surrounded by high heeled hoochies.  We’d rented a fabulous penthouse condo just off of the beach and filled it with Nanny & Bubba.  The last time I was in LA it felt crazy and fast; I was overwhelmed.

This time couldn’t have been more different, we all relaxed!!

I didn’t over book myself and instead opened the door and invited everyone to come and visit – and they did.  Once again I was amazed by my relationships and how they have held the hand of time.  I had lunch with my friend Paola whom I have not seen since we were really girls, sitting across from her was fantastic seeing the Mee that I had been and glimpsing the Mee of now.  It was amazing to witness our paths and how on the outside they seem different but the two of us have been walking the same walk inside – searching for our Original Selves.

Our last day was spent with my BFF Gab and her family, I watched her little girl & again was gripped by time – and saw how sweet it is to hold a line.

Happy New Year Y’all.

The first lesson in finding our balance…

June 28, 2010

IMG_1172

This summer is way better than last, for so many reasons.  I guess we are totally set up now.  Bella loves camp, Lola is attending a preschool camp 2 days a week and my nephew Tylor has been spending the past 3 weeks with us. I love him being here, not just because he helps so much – my sister has done an amazing job raising this guy – he’s pleasant, kind, patient and incredibly neat – for a 17 year old.

He began spending summers with me when he was 8 years old, living wherever I lived; in Malibu he attended surf camps, at the ranch he played in the river and learned to ride horses.  I have a special relationship with him, really because my sister and I have lived so close in spirit with one another. When she had him I was still young and in school – our mother had died a few years before and I knew I needed to show up, much in the same manner that my aunts, uncles and grandparents did for us – we knew we belonged to a bigger world than just my mother.

Now Tylor is grown and I have little’s, he loves on them like siblings.  Yesterday he taught Isabella to ride a two-wheeler and wow what a fantastic moment this is in our lives.  I remember my learning of this grand memory that never leaves us – after all it’s really about balance, once we find this balance it’s never gone from us.  I told Bella to think of it as riding a horse, you’ve got to sit solid in the center and pay attention to where you are going, you see if you are riding a horse and your mind drifts shifting your level of presence the horse will follow your lead.  I’ve loved this lesson; learning to ride in relationship with the animal is nothing shy than a truly spiritual experience.  Don’t misunderstand me I’m not a great rider, I just like the relationship of it all.

Bella is so much like me in ways, quirky and yet solid.  She got it, she was riding on her own, when she passed me I had to hold back my laugh because she was sitting completely straight, eyes on the prize and saying repeatedly out loud “I’m riding a horse, I’m riding a horse, I’m riding a horse.”

I learned to ride a two-wheeler in Clark Court Apartments; we lived next to Bay and Bukie Marshall.  I jumped on my sisters red kids sized beach cruiser and peddled away, however my know it all self forgot to ask how to stop and I flew over the handle bars!  Bella was lucky, Tylor kept catching the bike, not letting her smash to the ground.

I love this, he’s learned what family is about – we can’t prevent the falls only try to break them, serving as a cushion.

Today Tylor and I are going to visit yet another local Nashville University, Lipscomb.  I really hope that he attends school close to me, I’d hate to miss out on watching him turn from young man to man.

For me it’s really been about being the belle of my own ball, filling my life with my kids, Lee and work.

I’ve been writing like mad, my goal is to finish 3 books by the fall.  I’m just about done with one and wow writing it has been a journey, ‘cause this book is all about food and health.  It’s really taught me much more than when I started it.  I thought Oh, it will be a cookbook – but now I’m siked ‘cause it’s not!  I’m not a chef, I’m not a super hard-core cook in the kitchen, I’m a regular person who has gotten well eating foods in their original form and what I know is how to heal your body and what each food does.  So I’m way siked about this project, cause it’s not a “cook book”, it’s a PKIA Book with recipes.

The other day I sat here typing in the Convent, I looked up and out the window, I felt a sparkle in my eye– I was in the middle of an “Oh yeah I’m really doing it moment”, I love these – ‘cause it’s not about the final product but the good enough feeling of giving it my all.  Luckily I’ve always been able to see when I’ve arrived at a point in my life.  Maybe to the outside viewer these moments seem hardly successful, but to me they are huge.

I write because I don’t wanna miss out, not on a second of it.  Once I’ve written I go back and see the magic of the moment or a clearer view of the situation that I’m in the middle of.  Gotta see those good enough moments, ‘cause that’s the only way our life is good enough.

Role Models…

July 3, 2009

I’m gonna make this a fast one..
We made it to Florida!
First stop, PALM BEACH!!!
Gosh it felt so good to arrive! The blue-green water of South Florida and the flavor of Miami really fueled that part of me that loves the “get down” part of life!!!
I could definitely live in Palm Beach/Miami!!!
I decided this time I was not going to mess around and pack my own food! Our first stop: Whole Foods. I got my Miso supplies together, my ume boshi plum tea and healthy snacks…not forgetting about “Hi I Hold On To Things”, I bought a really cool little device. It looks like a teakettle but you can remove the lid and use it as a pot to for boiling. It’s an all-in-one hot plate/pot! I got to mixing up my necessities right away, and yes, I’ve been eating out a bit too. Like I was saying, I did not want my own “Hi I Hold On To Things” to run the show so I kept trying to find balance in the world and avoid living in guilty fear of slipping backwards because I ate out. I’m actually really psyched ’cause now I know what is good fo’ ya and what is not…
The best part is that I’m learning to calm myself. I used to think that I could only relax via yoga or a mediation session, but this is not true. Ginny Harper has got me breathing and focusing and let me tell you, it’s SO COOL!!!! Let me tell ya how to do it: I take a breath just deep enough into my belly to bring the air in and then let it out. I’ve even got Lola and Bella doing it! And no, we aren’t some freaky folks making a scene- we are just learning to relax ourselves, something that we aren’t taught to do.
After 4 days in Palm Beach we drove to Orlando and spent two days with my Poppy and Grandma. Poppy just finished Chemo and is really doing well. I love that man so much; the two of them are still great role models for me.
They moved to Florida about 15 years ago when Poppy retired from a steel mill. He and Grandma wanted to escape the brutal winters of the Northeast. My husband calls the place they landed: “A Yankee Trailer Park for Retirees”.
They live in the cutest little house/trailer. They ride their bikes everywhere, swim at the club and now Poppy is rolling a golf cart around. They have friends and activities everyday and a life that matches who they are inside – comfortable.
My Poppy attends mass EVERY morning.
They live within their means: rent for the land is $250 per month, their car is paid off, and their other bills, such as gas & electric, are both under $100 bones a month. They are happy.
Whenever I visit them I am reminded of simplicity: the power of one’s faith that if you believe your life is good enough, then it is…hmmm…
Of course, they were shocked to see me so thin (why so thin- this makes the reader wonder what happened- is this intentional?) , but Lee told them “She used to be in pain 28 out of 30 days, now she is pain free 28 days out of 30. It’s working…”
Grandma was great; she sat in Chemo with Poppy for months and the entire time she was wondering, “Why are we all so sick?”
She was asking questions!
She then showed off her new frying pans – all Eco friendly and healthy!
She went on to tell me that many years ago, in 1953, she bought her current set of stainless steel pots and pans after realizing that the thin aluminum was leaking into her food! (I’m confused about this sentence- which set is the current one? Which one was leaking? Hard to rework the sentence b/c I’m not sure what’s going on)
She said “Those pots were expensive, but I valued our health over anything else. Folks gotta start reorganizing where they place their values.”
Hmmmm..so that’s who I come from? Nice…..
I didn’t want to leave them nor did I want to leave the memory of them. All my life my grandparents hugged and kissed on us and they still do. I climbed into our rented red mini-van and headed North to Jacksonville.

It’s an extremely different world that Lee and I come from.
You see, Lee comes from one of the oldest and, at one time, most powerful families in the South. In fact, he really comes from a bit of a dynasty!
The house is the spitting image of Tara from Gone With The Wind… a home like this doesn’t exist many places anymore. It is decorated with the most beautiful and tasteful items of the Antebellum style, and it sits on the St. Johns River with Spanish Moss draping everything. There is a staff of workers that tend to every specific detail, from the lady who comes only to dust and the other who only waters the plants. There is a cook in the kitchen cooking up some old school food on a daily basis – fried chicken, ham, sweet potatoes, greens, biscuits and there is always a beautiful cake frosted and ready to be sliced.
Idora has been working for Lee’s mother for over 50 years; she’s now close to 95 years old. I’ll never forget the first time I met her: I walked into the kitchen and she was standing at the sink washing and humming. I asked her, “Doe what are you singing?” She responded, “Sugar Lump this is an old slave hymn.”
I was shocked!
Then she schooled me on where she came from “I was born on a Plantation in Georgia. My daddy was a share cropper and my granny was a slave in her time.” Doe is really someone from another world and her stories can hold you captive for hours…I can’t bother you with all of them but in my second book I really uncover the dealio’.
My girls call her Grandma Doe. They don’t know that she’s not their grandma- after all she raised Lee!
Now she sits in the kitchen all day sleeping in her rocker and overseeing the house.

I cooked my “food” today: black-eyed pea Croquettes, brown rice and veggies and Miso soup. I watched her eyeing me while I worked and then she ate it! I thought she might not like it, but she LOVED it! Part of the reason I cooked such a big meal was for the staff. Wanda, the current house cook, had breast cancer and suffers from the radiation. Diane, one of Ms. Pauline’s attendants, (Ms.Pauline is my mother in law) has arthritis & Fibromyalgia (also and autoimmune disease) and her daughter has Crohn’s Disease!

STOP: the kids are getting off of the elevator. They’ve been swimming and I know any second the “Momma help me’s” are coming.

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