I have got to get this blog out, not sure why it’s taken so long to push through. Well that’s not completely true…
Last Saturday we loaded up and drove to Florida, something happened the moment we got in the car – I disappeared into my own private world. I’m not one to enjoy a long ride in the car, however the first 7 hours seemed to move along as I let go of the survival mode that I’d been clinging to so ever tightly.
The 10 days before leaving were busy with the end of the school year and flood clean up and flood recovery, we’ve been moving forward and paying out of pocket as we go – the SBA or disaster loan folks are almost as full of it as FEMA – however we are crossing our fingers that soon they will come through.
For the girls it’s been about wrapping up their time at their current school, Bella will not return and it’s looking like nor will Lola. For Bella it’s a given she wants to change and attend a more structured and academic environment, I’ve found a nice private school in our neighborhood within walking distance – we are hoping this will aid in joining an actual community. Lola is tricky, she LOVES her teachers and I too do really like them, however the fact that I’ve met really nice women briefly from her class and yet not connected is uncomfortable – if Lola were older it’d be an OK situation but the fact that this is pre- school and a sweet time to enjoy friendships and play dates, I gotta get us a better situation if we are to stay in Nashville – my momma NEVER liked Oberlin nor felt a connection – this hindered me – had she participated more my experience would have been influenced more positively. After leaving Lola’s class picnic I had a serious conversation with myself – “I’ve got to find a way to form community” – the girls current school is not a fit for us. All of this thinking comes to a head, because her main friends – Marielles girls have left for Mexico, where they will live full time.
This brings me to the tuff part of the the past few weeks, goodbyes…I know, I know, I hear you all from here – there are no goodbyes, you can maintain friendship – I know this because of our gypsy life I’ve done this with all of my friends – however as Marielle and I understand it is not the same, we have really come support each other in our Nashville adventure – what surprised me was my relationship with her girls. I’m not someone who goes crazy for other peoples kids, I’m honest – my hands are full – but for the past year I’ve really wanted to support my girls and Marielles kids were a perfect complement to mine; they are incredibly worldly as they have a home in Paris as well as Mexico City, they are super intelligent, flexible and creative. I began car pooling them early on, picking them up after school, having play dates and listening to music loudly in the car – forcing them all to “seat dance” and be silly (something I learned from my own momma).
The last week they were in Nashville I kept them as much as possible, on our last trip to the Dragon Park, Ines the older one disappeared – I turned to find that she had climbed high upon the mosaic covered dragon and was full of tears – as I climbed up to sit with her she started to share with me “Mee, do you know that this dragon helps me remember my life here in Nashville – I am thinking about all the places I have been and the places my mother wasn’t able to take me that I wanted to visit. This Dragon is even helping me remember this moment right now with you.” I rubbed her back caught by the depth of her 8-year-old comprehension, I said quietly “You are seeing time – it is my favorite thing to do.” She began to sob harder asking, “How come no one else does?” I explained that many do, they just aren’t so aware of it or that they are so happy to only see the current moment in the moment that their time for reflecting comes later.
On our last day together Marielle handed me a gift, as I sat opening this gift my eyes too filled with tears – her gift was reflective of who I truly am and what I strive for – my tears were for the realization that Marielle KNOWS who I am – this is all we all want is to be who we are.
The astrologer Bill Atride told me upon moving to Nashville that I was there because it was my “place of luck & destiny” he said I would ONLY form poignant relationships. What I didn’t realize is that one of those poignant relationships would be with two little girls, that they would inspire me and fulfill my world – I also didn’t’ expect them to influence me in such ways – showing me that I too am somewhat of an influencer myself.
So here I am sitting in my mother in laws magnificent home – truly a vision of Tara over looking the St. Johns River; there are Magnolia’s blooming everywhere and Spanish moss dangles from every tree that will have it…This house is like an elegant time capsule to another world – perfect for a time saving gal like me.
Marielle, I miss you and thank you for your friendship – I have thought about our conversations regarding which interesting place we will visit next and who will we become -I’m thinking that just maybe you are right and Nashville will turn out to be my “Interesting Place.”