Everything was just perfect, the clouds parted and th
e sunshine beamed. Saturday morning my mind was wondering who would show up and I was so pleased to see so many folks come out. The choir sang, Pastor Fuzz spoke and this is always fun & funny & I taught a cooking lesson.
This is only the beginning, this coming Saturday we move into the church and start organizing the kitchen so that the following week we can hold our first cooking class in Nashville’s First Community Kitchen!!
also have some really good news, the church has 2 acres of land and our cowboys are coming into town to plow it, that’s right y’all we are fixin’ to grow our own veggies to feed this Noble Food Makeover…So what this means is that this community kitchen with have a community garden for every one in this city to participate in. If you are interested in cooking classes or working in the garden email me here at mee@princessknowitall.com and join this fantastic project.
Thanksgiving was nice and calm, I cooked all the “Mee Food” that fit with the season, Mary Alice & Cheryl came for dinner and our house was a calm and easy place. Friday for lunch was all about leftovers as it is in most households following a big holiday. Once again I filled my plate to the brim and feasted along side of my family. Around 1pm my tummy began to ache, I thought hmmmm maybe I just ate too much. At 4pm I knew something was wrong, still it’s been 18 months since my intestinal walls have completely collapsed causing a bowel obstruction so for sure I thought this not possible. The burning pain from the large ulceration has been gone for at least 9 months; I have suffered tummy aches but nothing that completely takes me out. I did what it is that I know how to do, ginger/chamomile compresses, soaked my feet in hot water to pull the blood down and circulate it, I eased on the intake of food and solids; finally falling to sleep around 9:30pm.
11:30 pm I opened my eyes and twisted with severe pain, a pain that I will never forget for as long as I live – my insides were twisted and fighting for blood – I was obstructing. I searched the room for Lee; he’d gone to help Bella through a bad dream and must have fallen asleep there. I didn’t want to yell through the house and awaken the girls so I made it to the bathroom to wash my face – however my legs gave way and I collapsed on the cold floor where I must have been for hours, rocking myself through the pain and battling the questions “Is this the time when my intestines will snap and I will no longer live in this body?” “Should I go to the hospital now?” The pain of these contractions is so severe that when I went to the hospital for my scheduled C-section with Isabella the nurses were in a panic, I’d been in labor for 24 hours with contractions 1 minute apart and didn’t KNOW it because I’ve suffered such intense bowel obstructions that my bodies tolerance for pain is HUGE.
Finally I made it up off of the cold marble floor and crawled to Lee, begging him to help me. For 3 more hours he wiped my head as my body twisted and I fought to vomit, finally I was able to throw up a HUGE amount, see that’s what happens all that is in the bowel that can’t pass has to come out one way or the other and if it can’t then you die.
I slept for a few hours, and awoke still in pain and weak…. For the past 3 days I’ve had acupuncture twice, two intestinal massages and been to see Ginny Harper (my food coach who has returned from Spain.) It seems that I ate way too much for my weakened intestines to pass and so they collapsed and I am reminded that healing my body is an on going process. The worst part of the next couple days was looking into my little girls’ eyes and seeing myself at their age – watching my mother struggle. I was sure to tell them that I was fine and that I just needed to rest, kissing them and touching them as often as possible. Reminding myself that our life is not the childhood that was mine – seeing my resilience.
Dr. Sheng tells me that the heart & small intestines are a couple, when the heart is sad the intestines break and that the intestines are a place of karma for the heart as they attempt to protect the heart.
When I went to see Gil “Happy Son Of My People”, I climbed on his table not wanting to process and passed out the minute the needles hit their spots, in my dream a window opened and I saw all this sunlight pour through, at first I was frightened. Once I looked in it was as if I was watching a movie, my life’s movie this time centered on my girls and Lee. In the movie Lola was sitting on the porch as she is now 4 years old, I was braiding her long golden hair – with each weave of the braid she aged and moved further away from me– yet I continued to hold on to her via the strands of her hair; just as my mother still does with me. Bella and Lola danced through time, I would have flashes of Lee too, sitting on the front porch of our old farm house – each glimpse of him time would show it’s face upon his until he was a very old man.
My mind raced trying to keep track of ages, places and wrinkles. Gil walked into the room, my eyes opened with tears he asked “Kapara do you have pain?” “No, I do not – I have seen time and I am a part of it.”
Just maybe my intestines break so that my heart will open and I will feel what I am too busy to move through. I’m not afraid that I am sick again; instead I understand the process of being here and healing. My resilience reminds me not to turn on myself and to fall in to the deep hole of doubt in times of struggle. The intestinal walls have 1,000’s of layers of tissue and each layer that heals has a process. I’m not rushing to the end instead I’m moving through the journey.
Yesterday I answered the phone, a call from Bella’s school. I assumed she was hurt or ill; instead it was the schools administrative assistant, she said “I’m sorry to bother you but Isabella just sang for the principal and myself and she brought tears to my eyes, she is a lovely child.” I fought back my own tears, and wanted to reach through the phone and hug this woman, telling her how deeply I appreciated her phone call and that I am grateful that my child is honored and honorable, that I am raising noble beings in a school that believes in nobility. Again my resilience was fortified.
Today I feel like my healthy strong self and I’m back in the game, but with a new perspective; a bigger aerial point of view that only comes from picking ones self up from the bathroom floor.
I’m not sure where to start, I’m in the middle of one of those experience’s that for sure have their own outcome – there is no controlling this process, no need to stress or fret – just show up and life will make it happen.
I’ve been awake since 3am – bad headache and inner dialogue that wouldn’t let me go…my mind was running through a list of what happened, what I shoulda – woulda – coulda wanna said, did etc., Finally it was time to get out of bed, I dressed and headed straight to acupuncture – I’ve been seeing someone beside Happy Son Of My People, mixing up my healing and taking it to another level – and y’all Dr. Sheng is GOOD. I knew that those needles were gonna ground me and the first thing that Dr.Sheng said to me was “Gurl, (yes she pronounces it this way as she has a thick Chinese accent) your root tired. Why you run your body so hard?”
I shrugged and responded “but I like life so much I just want to go fast.” She “tisked” me as I climbed on the table, ready to go down and stop that “thinking” of mine.
So you all have followed the Noble Makeover and know that I’ve been rockin’ and rollin but what you don’t know is what happened at Corinthian Baptist Church, however before I can fill you in I need to let you know a bit more about my religious history.
I was baptized Catholic – twice actually as my family was told I was sure to not survive infancy. My father’s family was Episcopalian, and until my parents divorce Catholicism is all we knew. I’m not sure what went on in my momma’s head, I suppose the shattering of the dream that she’d been creating opened her up to question “WHY” and “HOW COME.” (peep this link view a video about my momma’s religious journey)
We moved to Oberlin and far away from her strong Italian roots and she started searching – we tried out and even joined almost every church in town from Seventh Day Adventist, Jehovah’s Witness’s to Methodist. The Methodist Church located directly across the street from our house on Groveland St.; a predominately African American community – as we were the only “white” family, even though being white was questioned regularly as my mother was far from waspy – dark eyes, olive skin, prominent nose and late 1978 disco style afro – we viewed ourselves as “Other” and if you’re an “Other” than you know this can be both a tricky spot as well as liberating – as there is more freedom to become a “unique” being.
On the Sundays that we didn’t go off exploring churches, my momma would open the windows and have us sit and listen to the choir at Russ Methodist, she said listening to humans express their emotions like that was what church was really about – celebrating life.
This weekend was huge ‘cause my sister drove 10 hours to be there with me, packing in her trunk a box of stuff from my grandmother’s kitchen – The House That Built Mee. You see my grandparents supported my mothers exploring and kept their own Catholic position, giving us a Catholic Root. Nicole and I have always judged our success by how much food we have in the fridge, as kids we were so hungry and so embarrassed to tell anyone. We felt judged by the uppity white folks and our neighbors were poor black folks with nothing to eat themselves. When your momma is all you got and she is sick in the hospital for two weeks at a time, growing up and being able to buy whatever you want to eat at the market is SUCCESS.
Saturday morning was a rush, up until 9:00pm the night before we didn’t know if anyone was really coming – we’d had a communication mishap. Nicole and I cooked with Love everything in advance for the first Noble Food Makeover, we had to feed 12 folks and I wanted the first cooking lesson to be set up and easy, once it was over my goal was for us to sit together at the table – connected. I looked over at my sister and thought how appropriate it was to have her by my side not only were we providing a meal but one that actually can heal – fo’sho my momma was there witnessing. The evening ended in a blessing, a man named Mark that I believe to live in AUSTRALIA, who has been following this site stepped up and donated a dishwasher of the congregations choice, then came a woman named Joanne & her daughter Ashley from THE BAY AREA who donated 4 dozen complete sets of stone ware dishes. Another friend Heather Muro from OHIO is sending me a box of kitchen goods. Participation is the best medicine, so if you can hook us up – it doesn’t’ matter where you are!
Yesterday we all went to Corinthian Baptist Church, all meaning my husband, daughters, sister, nephew and Mary Alice – my sister by love. I didn’t know that I was going to speak I thought we were just gonna pass out flyers and get some footage of the congregation. However Pastor Fuzz was on it and he had a plan, before I knew it I was speaking before the congregation, a bit nervous and overwhelmed I was having so many personal realizations, hence the purpose of church – to see ourselves and only then can we see God/Nature/Creation. I was welcomed to the back room where all of the deacons and Pastor Enoch Fuzz gathered to plan out the service and pray. I looked into the faces that tie this community together, it was something out of a movie I tell you – most of these men have been part of this congregation for way more than 50 years, they have seen time and I watched as movies played across their faces.
Isabella my 8 year old got in the mix, making her way to the pulpit, taking the microphone thanking the congregation for having her and telling them that she appreciated how kind everyone was to one another. My eyes sparkled as I witnessed her confidence and capability, as this is one of the things that IS on my parenting list I have KNOWN from day one that I CAN give this gift to my children. Then she BROUGHT it, singing acapello “If I die young”. This feeling of good was only starting to warm up, before we knew it our entire row was tapping, rockin’, singing and clapping. We were there and nowhere else – present. Pastor Fuzz spoke about how we are all the same – humans – there is no difference in us – we are all a work in progress – which we are never in a position to judge, not even ourselves.
What a wonderful sermon for my first real Baptist Church experience; as a little girl my momma took us to a “Hell Damnation” Baptist Church once but all the hell damnation scared the mess out of us. Pastor Fuzz is all about encouraging folks to step up and take the high road. And let me tell you, these folks are on board for the Noble Food Makeover, they are fixn’ to prove that we all want to eat better and feel better, that we do have a CHOICE and life has brought me to one of the noblest groups in town to guide.
At one point in the service my whole body filled with emotion and I “felt” God speak…
When you’ve been as sick as I have for as long as I was – 14 years total, suffering close to death bowel obstructions I have prayed and asked him “Why?” Yesterday he answered, via feeling – I KNEW that all of the things I’ve gone through were to lead me directly to the seat that I was sitting in. I looked around the room and looked into the faces of all of my new teachers, I will guide them with food and they will usher in yet another level of experience for me to heal from. It is said that a writer writes to retrieve what they have lost…
At 3am when my headache was bangin’ and my mind was ramblin I thought wow, I’m following in my mothers footsteps once again introducing my daughter to different faiths so that she can learn that there are MANY paths to God.
Last weekend Lee and I spent Saturday night watching two documentaries back to back on The Green Channel.
The Last Beekeeper and Split Estate – both about how the need for more is affecting all creatures on the planet from Bees to humans; our push to take and create more than nature can give is catching up with us. Scientist believe that by the year 2035 (20yrs) there will no longer be bees in North America – this means no more almonds, peaches, strawberries, cherries, flowers & many other foods and plants. Already in parts of China there are NO bees and the humans are hand pollinating the trees to produce pears – this is a big deal – it is almost impossible to do.
Split Estate means that we as Americans only own the right to the top layer of soil of our property; the government owns the mineral right below where we live. In Colorado and New Mexico there are close to 60,000 natural gas and oil mines located on peoples private property. The government sells or leases the rights to corporations and they go in and drill – NOTHING can stop this. The chemicals used to fracture the earth are so incredibly toxic and deadly that 1,000’s of people are sick now from chemical inhalation and being physically sprayed on a daily basis. These corporations don’t have to clean up their HUGE messes. The real scary deal is that the Colorado River flows through this area, delivering drinking water to 1 in 12 Americans – the water that flows into the Colorado has been tested and is through the roof toxic. It is the MAIN source of water for the Southwest including Los Angeles and San Diego. Water treatment plants have not yet mastered how to remove most chemicals & pharmaceutical from the water, natural bacteria’s yes.
We turned off the TV with that hopeless, grumbling feeling, muttering between each other “There is nothing anyone can do, this is a choice our government has made based on our need for oil and gas and mass amounts of food that most of us throw away.”
However I heard a voice, one of RESILIENCE that comes from my heart – you see I believe that this is where all of our personal angels live, “Girl what you can do is cook and feed your body and teach other people the same.”
You see if the outside world is feeding us toxicity than what I can do is feed me and the people I love medicine – FOOD – provided by creation.
On Tuesday night I went to Corinthian Baptist Church to speak to members of the congregation. I was nervous and of course wondering if what I had to share would resonate and if these folks were ready to be their own champions. I started out with my story and then a break down of why we eat to clean our blood and support our immune systems.
Fo’sho my ego thought that these folks “needed” what I have to give, however after spending a few hours with them I realized I NEED them just as much. You see I’ve spent the past two years in my Convent office writing; my mornings and evenings cooking and any other time has been taken up with healing my body and tending to my family. My human connection outside of my tiny bubble has been almost non-existent. I now know that I’m well enough to go into the world and participate – I’m ready for friendship, and the folks at Corinthian Baptist opened their arms and I fell in.
They are so very ready to take back their power and health with food.
We now have a plan of action; we will host our first cooking class with 11 of the parishioners, they will learn a five course meal from soup to dessert, then I’m going to send them each home with one of the recipes that I’ve taught and the ingredients to prepare it.
The first few classes will be at my house, ‘cause we need to get Corinthian Baptist Churches kitchen rockin’ and rollin’ – meaning new stainless or cast iron pots & pans, wooden spoons etc.
I’m gonna call on you all – the PKIA community to help me. You don’t have to give me a dime, just send me an old pot or mixing bowl that you no longer use (NO toxic plastic or Teflon/nonstick), a head of cabbage, a bag of beans OR the connection to a farmer who has a little extra to spare; my family taught me something good, whenever it was meal time no matter how little we had we gave up half if there was an extra person around, invited or not. I never heard a single member of my immediate and extended family say to a child or adult, I’m sorry you have to leave it’s OUR dinner time.
My favorite thing that Pastor Fuzz said when I met him was “I’m a doer”, what we have in common (Lee & I) is that we too simply take action and trust that all will work out the way it is meant to – faith and again RESILIENCE.
Next week PKIA will have a wish list put up on the site and drop off places & mailing address. I’m fixin’ on arming these first 11 soldiers with the tools to teach others, we are also going to go on an educational shopping trip as well as introduce these same recipes to the kids at Corinthian – yep, a cooking class for them, you see most of them are just like me when I was a kid…home alone after 5pm and hungry.
We will expand the size of the cooking classes and eventually reach everyone in the congregation & COMMUNITY – ’cause this Noble Food Makeover is for EVERYONE that shows up.
By January their kitchen will be loaded & running and they will themselves produce a “Weekly Sunday Community Meal That Heals”.
This video sums it all up – it just takes action and effort!
We are a houseguest house, we’ve got 2 guest rooms and we keep ‘em full. This past week Dr. Joan Borysenko came to stay.
When I first met her years ago, I sat across from her at dinner. Bella was just a tiny baby and I was a new young mom asking every question I could regarding health and wellness – after all I was now making choices for another humans life.
I’ll never forget this particular encounter, you see, being married to Lee McCormick has made many an interesting dinner. Lee draws to him some of the most amazing thinkers in the health in wellness world and as a result I have made some pretty fabulous friends.
What I didn’t know when I met Dr. Joan Borysenko was that she was going to share a piece of information with me that in my future I would cling to, she was laying the groundwork for where life was fixn’ to take me. You see she is one of the only Harvard Cellular Biologist that has studied Cancer & HIV cells and the effect of ones faith upon these cells. What she learned is that Cancer is 80% environmental – meaning food, water, air, earth. The rest is a combination of emotions & genes. She has proven that where we place our faith determines the direction of our life and our illnesses. Folks that “believed” deeply in their wellness found ease and the diseased cells lessened.
When I was faced with a 50% chance of having intestinal cancer I had to walk it out “shorty” and dance with me, figuring out just where I was gonna place my faith, deciding just who I was gonna be and this brings me to the piece that Dr. Joan Borysenko brought to my dinner table again this week. Joan came into town to speak on behalf of Vanderbilt University, The Ranch, and Integrative Life Centers (Lee’s new project) at The Belcourt Theater. As I sat in the audience I watched Joan (she is a fantastic story teller) I felt as if I was watching a member of my own family shine. If I love you, I love you like family – to me there is no point in dividing up the way I care for those in my life.
Resilience – that’s what she/we talked about for 4 days, one of her recent books (she has written 15) “It’s Not the End of the World: Developing Resilience in Times of Change”, she shares her point of view on who is resilient and what makes us resilient, according to Joan 50% of our resilience is inherited/learned the other 50% is CHOICE – that’s right y’all we get to choose who we become. Like most folks I wanted to know if I was resilient, so I looked into my life and took the test:
1.) Do I face things head on – NO ROSE colored glasses? YES
2.) Do I find hidden meanings in my experience – good or bad? Yes
3.) Do I turn against myself when things go bad?
Joan told a very funny story of how she and her kids were stranded in a boat and she turned on herself. I answered NO I’m not like that and then I remembered– OK well maybe for a minute, EVERYDAY! That’s right at least once a day I go against myself with the same inner conversation “What am I doing? Can I really write books, will they really like the food I’m preparing, do I actually KNOW anything and the worst – am I really well?” I always let the list run and then I cut it off kicking those crazy thoughts to da’curb – however non- resilient folks stay there in the crazy thoughts and can’t get out of their own way.
4.) Can I improvise? Hell yeah shorty, whatcha’ think this website is all about? Lol…
5.) Do I Learn something from the experience and take it out into the world – participating with life? I’m gonna have to say yes again.
So, there I was taking the am I resilient test and feeling good about it, then I had a thought how can I teach this to my girls? Yeah they will have 50/50 shot at inheriting but what can I do? According to Joan, teach ‘em to complete – yep that’s right folks resilient folks are masters at completion. They start and finish everything.
The emotional piece for me this week with Joan was hearing once again that the direction of my faith is determined with where I place it – meaning do I see myself getting well? Do I see my cells as healthy? And is my opinion of me what really matters?
I was tested, my blood pressure dropped REALLY low and so I went to see a new Doc, immediately they looked at my records and not me the person in front of them – Mee healthy, glowing, upbeat, pain free and 20lbs heavier than I was 1 year ago. They read my old diagnosis and then projected onto me their opinion “ I will never be really well.” Hmmm, this got me spinning – mind you they’d not done ANY blood work only taken my blood pressure.
I knew what I had to do, get right with me inside again – ‘cause you see minus low blood pressure I feel really, really good. Part of being a resilient human is being mindful of others projections upon us. That Doc has no idea the walk I’ve been walkin’ and in her mind disease is a dinner guest that never leaves, but in my faith I’m showing this “Over Stayed It’s Welcome Guest” to the door.
As I dropped Joan at the airport I hugged her goodbye, my eyes welled up with tears and I climbed back on my horse again ready to ride. Life is amazing; a mirror always appears when I’m ready to really see Mee and this week a message came loud and clear; See my own resilience.
