Moving on to the next…once again we’ve said yes to an adventure.

August 27, 2011

pacific bound

I so need to talk, I awoke at 3:30 am tossing & turning as it totally hit me yesterday that we are leaving Nashville in less than a week.  Suddenly I’m afraid.  Afraid because I’m finally HERE, I finally feel complete connection and a sense of belonging. The first year of living here full time was so dang tough it’s not funny, I was super sick and terrified that I was going to die.  I struggled to connect and find my place and I am AMAZED at what a nest I’ve built.

Yesterday we celebrated Isabella’s birthday, starting in the morning with Mary Alice arriving at 8am to take her and Lola out to Fido’s in Hillsboro Village, returning to open a few presents by 11am and then we held a party a “pop star karoke party” at a place called Diva’s & Dude’s here in Nashville.  All of Bella’s friends from her school here came and she was as happy as could be.  I too enjoyed myself as I sat with the momma’s from her class that I’d connected with over the past year.  Afterwards Lee, his daughters Ana & Alexis – Alexis’s two children, Tylor, Mary Alice, Justice, her little sister Bella’s BFF and MEE all went to eat dinner, celebrating even more.  When I climbed into bed I felt this great sense of success – On my 9th birthday all I wanted was to have a full and complete family, a small birthday party & to be loved and I didn’t want my momma to be sick anymore.

Since then I headed into the world and created what it is that I wanted at 9 years old – not knowing then that the sick momma I would be healing would be me.  I arrived in Nashville to live full time almost 3 years ago terrified I would walk and wear my momma’s shoes and here I am leaving in my own boots.

 

Back to 3:30 am, I am awake and an inner battle is raging on, ’cause a huge part of me that wants to dig my heels in deep and stay right where I am, but I hear my momma’s voice pass through my dreams once I’ve fallen back to sleep, “Meme don’t stop dreaming, creating and having adventures, life is quick & when you look back KNOW you showed up & gave it your best shot.”  My momma was not able to fulfill her dreams.  The one thing I understand about dreams is it is NEVER about the outcome but the journey.   I also KNOW  most folks stop dreaming & creating adventures when they are past 22.  Yep, so I could tell y’all the details of why we are moving to LA but in truth if I did then my mind would get hooked into some expectation and when the opportunity takes it’s own path I’d be clinging to some idea in my mind of what I THOUGHT was gonna happen – BAM disappointment would swallow the dream.  So instead we are going west because a giant adventure is calling us and we happen to have the means to follow through. We moved to Mexico with this same intention and what unfolded there was I found a handful of my people, and my person Senora Gina.  Here in Nashville what I thought I was coming to do here was take a protocol of drugs and instead I changed the direction of my life and connected on a super deep level to two women Mary Alice & Jane Ellen. So I say to you California BRING it & surprise me ’cause my mind & arms are wide open and my body is strong.

Two days ago I moved out of the Convent.  I can’t tell you how special that office has been to me, a place to express, create and just be me.  Wouldn’t it be great if all women had a safe little room tucked away where they could go just to be them – not a momma, a wife, girlfriend, cook or maid.  I’m blown away by how appropriate The Convent was for me, at the age of 18 after my mommas death I’d almost joined an actual Convent however I knew that it wasn’t my life path, I love that when I needed to feel connected the most, dig in the deepest with my faith a space in a Convent became my refuge.  In Mexico I worked in a super sweet spot in the center of the village, filled with beautiful Mexican furniture.  I wonder what my next office will be like in California?

The next few days are nuts, I’m not just making one move but two, one truck is going to Malibu and one truck is going out to storage until the end of September when our farm house will be completed and we will move the majority of our belongings to the ranch.  Maybe the reason this move feels safer than any before is because we will be leaving our main home here in Nashville, out on our ranch intact.  We all KNOW where we belong – HERE.  I myself will return every 6 weeks to lead the Noble Food Makeovers and Lee will return every 4 weeks to run the ranches, ILC and the treatment centers.  All that’s going on is our commute has gotten bigger.

With this said I will miss my neighbors here in town, I will miss Mary Alice as she shows up for us like nobody knows, I will miss Jane Ellen, I will miss all of the friends and associates that I have made here in this sweet southern city, I will miss the simplicity of our Nashville life, however heading into the big old world of Hollywood with y’all here cheering on our adventure is something I’ve never had before and I will hold a line of loyalty and friendship with you all….

Thanks to all of you that hold the other end of this line, here in Nashville or out there in the big world that via this blog we have formed a relationship.

 

 

Happy Birthday Mexico!

September 15, 2010


It’s hard to imagine but just two years ago we were living in the Mexican Jungle and my girls were marching in national parades for the Mexican Independence Days!

It was 200 years ago today that Mexico was free of Spanish rule and 100 years ago today marks the Mexican Revolution!

Whew, they are having some parties down there.

This year is especially heart felt,  Mexico is coming together to clean up after terrible flooding that has completely wiped out villages and towns.  My own sweet home town of Sayulita has suffered great loss, and Senora Gina is gathering lists of needs from some of the poorest families. The one thing I know is that Mexico will come through these tough times that it is facing, Mexican people are strong and capable and most importantly united.  I miss it there so very much, I have moments when all I want to do is put my pen down and head back home.  I know that I am not done with my Mexican life, it is awaiting me in the wings and in time I will return.  At night I dream of her, Mexico my Mango Momma….

Happy Birthday my friend!


God Made Dirt So Dirt Don’t Hurt….

April 13, 2010

Click below to listen to Walking On The Earth by Chris Pierce

Once again I am up in the air – literally…down below I see GREEN!

After 4 days in Santa Fe, New Mexico, my eyes were beginning to adjust to the shades of brown that coat the high deserts land and buildings.   I’ve been to Santa Fe a few times in fact, I believe this was my 4th.  Each time I am amazed by the Sangre de Cristo Mountains (the blood of Christ mountains).

The combination of pine trees or I believe they are called pinion trees, topped by snow capped mountains is breathtaking.  I can’t help but to once again see time, imagining when this wonderful town was only a Mexican pueblo; the images of cowboys and Indians swarm my mind.

It’s funny, why I think I’m going somewhere is usually not the reason I went once I’ve left.  I thought I was going to support Lee, you see one of the things he does besides the obvious, is produce documentary films.  Last night they screened his first completed project “Dreaming Heaven” – the journey through Teotihuacan; Lee and his team have been working on this project for 3.5 years.

My sister flew into Nashville for Easter and what a good Easter we had!  I know I complain often about what Nashville doesn’t do for me so only in fairness, let me give this city a shout out – it’s close enough that my sister and I can show up for one another.  This is such a big deal considering that I’ve lived 1,000’s of miles from her since leaving home at 18, now we don’t miss a holiday.

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This Easter was really wonderful we colored eggs and headed out to The Ranch for the day; Monday morning Nicole took over allowing Lee & I to board a plane for New Mexico. Don’t get me wrong I go back and forth with leaving the girls but being a mother is not all that I am, I am my husbands best friend – and this means showing up to support him.  So if we’d spoken on Sunday I’d have told you this and that I was also going to see a bunch of friends including one of my BFF’s Iva Peele (she is also my husbands executive producing partner in Dreaming Heaven-Gosh I adore this “lady girl”, she is not only a slam bangin’ photographer but one of my “people”.  We giggle and whisper like teenagers, the level of depth that we can go to in conversation is shocking and then with a flip of our hair we are back in the funny again – my kinda gal.

(Screening of Dreaming Heaven The Mccormicks & Peeles!)

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I met up with Iva and her husband Jeremy in the Dallas airport and onward we journeyed together, immediately we decided that a trip to Chimayo was fo’sho part of the plan. (IVA & JERRY @ BREAKFAST)

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I first visited Chimayo many years ago, I’d heard so many tales of how “healing” dirt continued to appear in one of the back rooms – folks from all over the world have journeyed to Chimayo to collect this dirt; leaving behind crutches, crosses, photographs & notes.   There are many different tales regarding the history of this place and why the dirt appears and how it works -below I’ve given you one of the most dominant tales:

“One tradition recalls that during Holy Week on the night of Good Friday, Don Bernardo Abeyta, who was a member in good standing of the Hermandad de Nuestro Padre Jes6s el Nazareno (Penitentes) was performing the customary penances of the Society around the hills of El Potrero. Suddenly he saw a light springing from one of the slopes of the hills near the Santa Cruz River. Don Bernardo went to the spot and noticed that the shining light was coming from the ground. He started to dig with his bare hands, and there he found a Crucifix. He left it there and called the neighbors to come and venerate the precious finding. A group of men was sent to notify the priest, Fr. Sebastian Alvarez at Santa Cruz.

Upon hearing the extraordinary news, the priest and people set out for Chimayo. When they arrived at the place where the Crucifix was, Fr. Sebastian picked it up and carried it in a joyful procession back to the church. Once in the church, the Crucifix was placed in the niche of the main altar. The next morning, the Crucifix was gone, only to be found in its original location. A second procession was organized and the Crucifix was returned to Santa Cruz, but once again it disappeared, The same thing happened a third time. By then, everyone understood that El Sefior de Esquipulas wanted to remain in Chimayo, and so a small chapel was built.”

Like I said I’d been here before years ago, each time I’ve come I’ve done so for very different reasons; collecting the dirt and using it in a variety of ways.  I’d never been before as a person with health issues  – heart break yes, sadness yes, fear yes…disease NO – but then aren’t these things precursors to dis-ease?

As we rolled through the hills climbing deeper into the mountains my mind began to quiet, it was so cold that day – the winds come to the Santa Fe high desert in March and April packing much punch, a high of 40 degrees feels like 20. In my Princess Know It All fashion I refused to listen to the weather report, filling my suitcase with flimsy dresses, tights and scarves – of course one impractical velvet tuxedo jacket.  On this day I found myself wearing everything I’d brought at once – it’s a great thing that I’d had so much practice leading up to lent.

Upon exiting the car it was as if a spell came over the four of us, “Bam” we were in our own worlds – Iva with her camera and me with my heart.  I joined in with the other pilgrims by picking up sticks and weaving them into the fence – forming the sign of the cross, dang that wind was whipping me…

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Finally Lee and I made our way to the tiny church, I expected the church to not offer much comfort from the cold – being that it’s quite old and made of mud/stone.  Still shivering, I dipped my hand into the holly water making the sign of the cross – I reached for the large wooden doors “whoosh a warm blaze of heat wrapped it’s self around me”.  I made my way to the front pew bowing before kneeling I had to fight from not falling over and curling into a ball.  The room was full of candle light -the windows being to tiny to led much of the bright sun shining outside, this romantic light brought to life all the colors of the hand painted Spanish antique wooden art that filled the room.  I quickly began to run through the list of prayers and people, my sister, brother, nephews, nieces, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, adopted family – my parents of all forms, my girls, Lee.  You see I’m a HUGE believer in prayer and wishes, I’m known for making wishes when ever possible.  I was running the list when I heard a little whisper – STOP. Stop talking, thinking and praying and now watch…. like a movie I saw all the good in my life, in everyone’s life that I walked in praying for.  I saw my house, my girls playing outside with my sister, I saw me a year ago unable to move at times, I saw me now vibrant and strong, I saw Lee and his love for me, I saw all the laughter that my family fills rooms with…I saw gratitude.

Then the voice – “Stop seeing what you need & wish for – instead see how great what you have is & how well all your loved ones are.”

I stood up walked into the little room in the back where the dirt appears, it felt crowded in there and yet I was the only one; I looked up at all the requests for miracles and offering stories of miracles.  I walked back out into the church and knelt before the alter, listening again to the voice inside my heart– “The miracle of this place is that it is a place of BELIEF – BELIEF – is the miracle.”

I turned to see Lee standing at the back of the church witnessing me and holding a cup of dirt, as I walked out of the church I felt as if I had been crying for hours and yet I’d not shed a tear.

Maybe this church is really a place where one takes it out, I brought my dirt home and it sits in front of me – I don’t need to place it on my tummy but look to see it everyday, a reminder of miracles.

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The next day Lee was busy preparing for the screening and I rested and wrote.  We had a wonderful dinner in a slammin’ sushi joint, I was able to spend time with my dear friend Dr. Carolyn Ross, MD…we spoke of my next plan of action – intravenous vitamin therapy.  I’m feeling much better but I know I need a boost, Dr. Ross believes this will give my cells a boost in healing; my consultation is next week – super excited.

Back to the screening:  I think ya’ll need a bit of back story here, I’ve been going to Teotihuacan for the past 15 years, I’ve done this journey a ton of times and to say it’s something I “enjoy” is a stretch. This journey through Teo is tough, pushing on all the places that ache, unraveling the balls of yarn that keep us tethered to what torture us.  With that said, I had NO interest in watching a movie about it -  but I love Lee..The lights dimmed, the screen filled and I was HOOKED!  FO’REAL FO’SHO HOOKED!

In fact I had an incredibly moving experience, I sat on the edge of my seat wanting to KNOW what came next, seeing the magic of Teo as if for the first time…I listened to the people on the screen with the ear of someone who wasn’t there – I WAS there for the filming.  All I can say is that this team of folks really put a fantastic film together.

That night I looked at my husband and saw him as my best friend, he did it…he completed one of his dreams, I came to support him and I left with inspiration.

In his reflection I saw that I can do the same..look out ya’ll!

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